HOW MOMS CAN CHANGE THE WORLD
by Susie Michelle Cortright
Note from Lois: This was written for the Christmas season, but it still applies any time.
Who better to change the world than a mother, with her instinctive capacity for compassion, empathy, and unconditional love? Here are a few ways - large and small - that we moms can make a difference in our world.
It was the strangest time to have the blues. I was preparing to graduate summa cum laude from a prestigious university. Once a week, a favorite professor would meet me in the hallway outside my classroom with a clipboard of ideas for the things I could do and achieve in my life. But the more success I achieved, the less I cared, and it took me a while to realize why: Everything I did was all about me.
My depression amplified my self-centeredness. I worried incessantly about when I was going to feel better. How was I going to make myself feel right again?
Then, for reasons I really can't explain, I started visiting a bunch of ladies in a nursing home. I read Edgar Allen Poe to Dorothy and USA Today to Beth. Edie loved me to do her fingernails in sunset red, and Pauline just wanted me to listen to her talk about her great-grandchildren who lived far, far away. As I sat listening to their stories, painting their fingernails, and playing some very long checkers games, I began to see myself through their eyes. To these women, I was a person with value just because I was sitting there. As demanding as my days were in those final months of college, the only thing that really mattered to anyone was that I showed up at the Candlelight Lodge at 3 pm. And so I did.
Now that I'm a stay-at-home/work-at-home mom, I sometimes feel - perhaps like many of you - that I don't have anything left to give at the end of the day. But people who live their life in service to others just seem to have that extra "oomph" of energy when they need it, as though their work is so important that their spirit won't allow them to tire so soon. They have the energy they need to be the people they need to be.
Who better to change the world than a mother, with her instinctive capacity for compassion, empathy, and unconditional love? Here are a few ways - large and small - that we moms can make a difference in our world.
Focus on Motherhood
No one knows about living a life of service quite like a mother. We know that the best way to nurture ourselves is to nurture other people. Each day, we dedicate ourselves to enhancing the future generation. It is not only our legacy but our responsibility.
When you frame each chore as something you do out of love for your family, suddenly even plunging your hands in soapy dishwater, slicing the carrots for tonight's stew, and changing the baby's diaper take on new meaning. Let us
remind one another that, each day, we all make a contribution by performing at our personal best.
Get Informed
Use the Internet to research the issues you are interested in. Virtually every cause has a host of websites, information, and specific calls to action published online.
Visit http://www.makeadifferenceday.com to find projects you can participate in locally, and spend a few moments with the Project Idea Generator, which will give you ideas and examples of past projects that match your specific skills and style of giving.
Volunteer
If you're prone to the holiday blues, helping someone in need is an effective way to ward off depression. In fact, RealAge.com reports that people who volunteer show improvement in areas such as "life satisfaction, well-being, and overall health." That's because, RealAge.com speculates, volunteers also experience more meaningfulness and social interaction in their lives.
With the isolation many stay-at-home moms experience from time to time, this social interaction component is not to be overlooked. You can meet people your own age by volunteering, or get a group of friends united in a cause and spend a guilt-free afternoon away from the house.
During the holiday season, opportunities abound. Just look in your local paper. On the Internet, www.volunteermatch.org can set you up with an opportunity or idea with your specific skills in mind.
Voice Your Opinions
Be politically pro-active by writing to your congressperson and staying up-to-date on the issues that matter to you. Log on to http://www.house.gov or http://www.senate.gov for representative names, contact information, and bill numbers.
Share
We women tend to divide our donations among a number of causes. This year, consider giving to one or two causes that mean a lot to you, or combine your contributions with those of your friends so you can make a real difference. You can also start your own fundraising drive, or give holiday gifts by donating in your friend or relative's name. For ideas and more tips on effective giving, visit http://www.women-philanthropy.org.
When we share the wealth, we model a sense of selflessness to our children. Encourage them to follow-through by asking that they give away toys they no longer use, set aside a portion of their allowance for needy children, or share their time by visiting a retirement center or convalescent home along with you.
Mentor
Confident parents make wonderful mentors. Big Brothers and Big Sisters (http://www.bigbrothers.org) is a national program that pairs children from single-parent homes with adult mentors. Similar programs may exist specific to your area, as well.
Mentoring children doesn't have to mean joining an organized effort. Perhaps you know a child who just needs a little extra time and attention. And, if you're a stay-at-home mom, you can simply make sure your home is the kids' hangout. Then get to know their friends on a personal level.
Make a personal contribution. Everyone has a special skill that can make a difference in the world. What's yours? Be enterprising. Brainstorm ways you can help others. If you can teach, volunteer to share your knowledge at your local free university or at one of the many online education portals. If you can write, pen persuasive letters to the editor or tutor a child in the skill. Do you know anyone who doesn't have a place to go for the holidays? Take them in this year.
Look around you. What do people in your community need? If you're ready to make a big commitment, the world needs foster parents, adoptive parents, and people willing to speak out on behalf of mothers and children. The world needs a mother's caring, compassion, and strength. Let us show the world what a difference we can make.
Susie Michelle Cortright is the founder and publisher of Momscape, an online magazine devoted to nurturing the nurturers. Visit her at http://www.momscape.com to escape in inspiring articles and essays, subscribe to Momscape's free email newsletters.
WHO DO YOU LOVE BEST, MAMA?
by Catie Gosselin of http://WomanLinks.com
When you have more than one child, inevitably, rivalry for attention and affection occurs. Who gets to sit next to Daddy at dinner, who gets to sit on Mama's lap for storytime, or who gets goodnight kisses first, become all important. A parent's attention and approval become synonymous for love, in a
child's eyes. Often, this leads them to wonder just exactly who is loved the most. The truth of the matter is that we don't love our children in the same way. As every child is unique, so is a parent's love for them.
After the birth of my oldest son, for example, I thought it impossible that my heart could ever contain greater feelings of love for anyone. The arrival of my second son proved me wrong, yet my sons, in many ways, are as different as night and day. I love my oldest son's unlimited capacity for empathy and insight. I am awed by the voraciousness with which he explores and questions the world around him. I am inspired by his tenacity. I am dumbfounded by my youngest son's imagination and linguistic skills. His impish sense of humor, blinding intelligence and sense of wonder are treasures to me. Each has unique characteristics that I love. Their very individuality makes it impossible to measure feelings I have towards one against the other.
One of the best illustrations I have seen of this phenomenon appears in "I Love You the Purplest" by Barbara M. Joosse. Rather than compare her two sons, the mother in this story recognizes and praises each child's strengths. Who they are, not what they do or how they do it, is reason enough to gain this mother's love.
This is a wonderful lesson. Behavior is not reason enough to love someone. People are imperfect, and make mistakes. When a child makes a mistake, say by knocking over a juice cup after being told not to play ball in the house, are they any less deserving of love? No. We may be disappointed or angry at the behavior, but love for the child remains constant.
How can such a distinction benefit the child over a lifetime? By knowing they are worthy and deserving of love and respect, a child grows with strong sense of self-esteem and pride. They realize mistakes are part of the learning process. They look for lessons from which to grow, rather than opportunities for self-criticism and loathing.
One of the best gifts we can give our children is to do away with labels such as 'good', 'bad', 'naughty' and 'nice'. Whether they are climbing into bed for good morning snuggles, or screaming 'NO' at the top of their lungs in the middle of the mall, all children are deserving of love simply for being who they are. Behavior changes from day to day and situation to situation. It is no basis for showing love. Letting our children know they are enough, just as they are, is as important a lesson for them as it is for parents.
We may all be at different stages in our life journeys, but we are all enough.
by Susie Michelle Cortright
Note from Lois: This was written for the Christmas season, but it still applies any time.
Who better to change the world than a mother, with her instinctive capacity for compassion, empathy, and unconditional love? Here are a few ways - large and small - that we moms can make a difference in our world.
It was the strangest time to have the blues. I was preparing to graduate summa cum laude from a prestigious university. Once a week, a favorite professor would meet me in the hallway outside my classroom with a clipboard of ideas for the things I could do and achieve in my life. But the more success I achieved, the less I cared, and it took me a while to realize why: Everything I did was all about me.
My depression amplified my self-centeredness. I worried incessantly about when I was going to feel better. How was I going to make myself feel right again?
Then, for reasons I really can't explain, I started visiting a bunch of ladies in a nursing home. I read Edgar Allen Poe to Dorothy and USA Today to Beth. Edie loved me to do her fingernails in sunset red, and Pauline just wanted me to listen to her talk about her great-grandchildren who lived far, far away. As I sat listening to their stories, painting their fingernails, and playing some very long checkers games, I began to see myself through their eyes. To these women, I was a person with value just because I was sitting there. As demanding as my days were in those final months of college, the only thing that really mattered to anyone was that I showed up at the Candlelight Lodge at 3 pm. And so I did.
Now that I'm a stay-at-home/work-at-home mom, I sometimes feel - perhaps like many of you - that I don't have anything left to give at the end of the day. But people who live their life in service to others just seem to have that extra "oomph" of energy when they need it, as though their work is so important that their spirit won't allow them to tire so soon. They have the energy they need to be the people they need to be.
Who better to change the world than a mother, with her instinctive capacity for compassion, empathy, and unconditional love? Here are a few ways - large and small - that we moms can make a difference in our world.
Focus on Motherhood
No one knows about living a life of service quite like a mother. We know that the best way to nurture ourselves is to nurture other people. Each day, we dedicate ourselves to enhancing the future generation. It is not only our legacy but our responsibility.
When you frame each chore as something you do out of love for your family, suddenly even plunging your hands in soapy dishwater, slicing the carrots for tonight's stew, and changing the baby's diaper take on new meaning. Let us
remind one another that, each day, we all make a contribution by performing at our personal best.
Get Informed
Use the Internet to research the issues you are interested in. Virtually every cause has a host of websites, information, and specific calls to action published online.
Visit http://www.makeadifferenceday.com to find projects you can participate in locally, and spend a few moments with the Project Idea Generator, which will give you ideas and examples of past projects that match your specific skills and style of giving.
Volunteer
If you're prone to the holiday blues, helping someone in need is an effective way to ward off depression. In fact, RealAge.com reports that people who volunteer show improvement in areas such as "life satisfaction, well-being, and overall health." That's because, RealAge.com speculates, volunteers also experience more meaningfulness and social interaction in their lives.
With the isolation many stay-at-home moms experience from time to time, this social interaction component is not to be overlooked. You can meet people your own age by volunteering, or get a group of friends united in a cause and spend a guilt-free afternoon away from the house.
During the holiday season, opportunities abound. Just look in your local paper. On the Internet, www.volunteermatch.org can set you up with an opportunity or idea with your specific skills in mind.
Voice Your Opinions
Be politically pro-active by writing to your congressperson and staying up-to-date on the issues that matter to you. Log on to http://www.house.gov or http://www.senate.gov for representative names, contact information, and bill numbers.
Share
We women tend to divide our donations among a number of causes. This year, consider giving to one or two causes that mean a lot to you, or combine your contributions with those of your friends so you can make a real difference. You can also start your own fundraising drive, or give holiday gifts by donating in your friend or relative's name. For ideas and more tips on effective giving, visit http://www.women-philanthropy.org.
When we share the wealth, we model a sense of selflessness to our children. Encourage them to follow-through by asking that they give away toys they no longer use, set aside a portion of their allowance for needy children, or share their time by visiting a retirement center or convalescent home along with you.
Mentor
Confident parents make wonderful mentors. Big Brothers and Big Sisters (http://www.bigbrothers.org) is a national program that pairs children from single-parent homes with adult mentors. Similar programs may exist specific to your area, as well.
Mentoring children doesn't have to mean joining an organized effort. Perhaps you know a child who just needs a little extra time and attention. And, if you're a stay-at-home mom, you can simply make sure your home is the kids' hangout. Then get to know their friends on a personal level.
Make a personal contribution. Everyone has a special skill that can make a difference in the world. What's yours? Be enterprising. Brainstorm ways you can help others. If you can teach, volunteer to share your knowledge at your local free university or at one of the many online education portals. If you can write, pen persuasive letters to the editor or tutor a child in the skill. Do you know anyone who doesn't have a place to go for the holidays? Take them in this year.
Look around you. What do people in your community need? If you're ready to make a big commitment, the world needs foster parents, adoptive parents, and people willing to speak out on behalf of mothers and children. The world needs a mother's caring, compassion, and strength. Let us show the world what a difference we can make.
Susie Michelle Cortright is the founder and publisher of Momscape, an online magazine devoted to nurturing the nurturers. Visit her at http://www.momscape.com to escape in inspiring articles and essays, subscribe to Momscape's free email newsletters.
WHO DO YOU LOVE BEST, MAMA?
by Catie Gosselin of http://WomanLinks.com
When you have more than one child, inevitably, rivalry for attention and affection occurs. Who gets to sit next to Daddy at dinner, who gets to sit on Mama's lap for storytime, or who gets goodnight kisses first, become all important. A parent's attention and approval become synonymous for love, in a
child's eyes. Often, this leads them to wonder just exactly who is loved the most. The truth of the matter is that we don't love our children in the same way. As every child is unique, so is a parent's love for them.
After the birth of my oldest son, for example, I thought it impossible that my heart could ever contain greater feelings of love for anyone. The arrival of my second son proved me wrong, yet my sons, in many ways, are as different as night and day. I love my oldest son's unlimited capacity for empathy and insight. I am awed by the voraciousness with which he explores and questions the world around him. I am inspired by his tenacity. I am dumbfounded by my youngest son's imagination and linguistic skills. His impish sense of humor, blinding intelligence and sense of wonder are treasures to me. Each has unique characteristics that I love. Their very individuality makes it impossible to measure feelings I have towards one against the other.
One of the best illustrations I have seen of this phenomenon appears in "I Love You the Purplest" by Barbara M. Joosse. Rather than compare her two sons, the mother in this story recognizes and praises each child's strengths. Who they are, not what they do or how they do it, is reason enough to gain this mother's love.
This is a wonderful lesson. Behavior is not reason enough to love someone. People are imperfect, and make mistakes. When a child makes a mistake, say by knocking over a juice cup after being told not to play ball in the house, are they any less deserving of love? No. We may be disappointed or angry at the behavior, but love for the child remains constant.
How can such a distinction benefit the child over a lifetime? By knowing they are worthy and deserving of love and respect, a child grows with strong sense of self-esteem and pride. They realize mistakes are part of the learning process. They look for lessons from which to grow, rather than opportunities for self-criticism and loathing.
One of the best gifts we can give our children is to do away with labels such as 'good', 'bad', 'naughty' and 'nice'. Whether they are climbing into bed for good morning snuggles, or screaming 'NO' at the top of their lungs in the middle of the mall, all children are deserving of love simply for being who they are. Behavior changes from day to day and situation to situation. It is no basis for showing love. Letting our children know they are enough, just as they are, is as important a lesson for them as it is for parents.
We may all be at different stages in our life journeys, but we are all enough.
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