Sending My Babies Back into the World

Used by permission by Alicia Miller

August is always a hard month for me. It’s the month I have to send to my babies back into the world after being home with me all summer. There is something about sending them out into world after they have been safe under the covering of our home that gets to me. Things happen in their day once school starts back up that I have no first hand knowledge of and they come home a little different than they left. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ God brought this to my attention this morning ... For weeks this plant in the picture below has only had 2 flowers on it, today it has 14 flowers. I’ve kept it on my covered screened in porch, safe on a table, while it gets the what I thought was the perfect amount of sun and controlled water by using my watering can. A few days ago, it was obvious by the dark clouds in the sky and the sound of thunder that it was going to storm so I set it out on my uncovered patio to receive the rain. We get some fierce afternoon thunderstorms so I worried while I was gone that the wind and hard rain could have been too much for this seemingly delicate plant. When I came home, the sun had come back out and it appeared to be watered, nourished and vibrant. I moved it back to safety of the covered screened in porch. Each day since it was in the storm a new flower has bloomed and it is finally starting to fill out. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Maybe, just maybe, the rain and storms, the trials and heartaches, of this life in my children’s path are also necessary to produce fruit (or flowers). Safety in my home is good for rest and for Him to lay foundational roots. However, when I let them enter the rain, and even the fierce storms on the outside, perhaps that is when He can flourish through them and the fruit produced will bloom and be most evident. They (we all do) need the time in safety under covering but they also need to enter the storms and allow Him to hold them up in the rain and wind - after all that is where endurance is built and tried. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ So, next Monday, when two of mine return to the overcrowded school hallways and the building to learn things that I am not equipped to teach them at home, I will remember these truths that He imparted in me. They may face storms but they will also receive nourishment, there may be the gusty wind of trials but He is strong enough to keep them upright, there will also be joy when the sun shines on them and He will produce vibrant beauty through them for all to see. Then, they will return to our house, He will continue to give them rest and restoration under the covering of our home. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ (Please know I’m not a debating or even implying that brick and mortar style school is always best. I have two that are returning to the building and one college age child that will be home with all online classes. Just as plants’ care instructions are all different according to each individual plant type, so are His Holy Spirit’s instructions for each individual child based on their specific needs. This was just a message He gave me today about my children that I thought might relatable to others’ situation as well.)

The Empty Nest - Notes & Quotes for Parents & Children

by Lois Breneman

Ladies, as your children leave the security of your home and go off to college, here are some quotes that may encourage you as moms, and a few to share with your children and young adults.  I believe the most important things we can offer to our children, as they leave home are a continued godly example in our life and marriage, unconditional love, respect, constant prayer and wide open doors of communication. 

As your children leave home, Talk Less - Trust God and Pray More!

Commit your children to God in the Security, Safety and Strength of the LORD!

It is comforting to know that the God who guides us sees tomorrow more clearly than we see yesterday.  -- Author Unknown

'Difficulty' is not a word to be found in the dictionary of heaven.  Nothing can be impossible with God.  -- Charles H. Spurgeon

As your children seek to know God's will for their future:
To have God in our life, doesn't mean sailing on a boat with no storms, it means having a boat that no storm can sink!  -- Author Unknown

Somebody once said that in looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you. -- Warren Buffett

Success is to stand in the presence of God, unashamed.
If we are praying diligently for our children, we can be confident that God is faithfully working behind the scenes, even when we don't know the details of His working. - Lois Breneman

The Gift of an Ordinary Day

www.katrinakenison.com

 

Please click on this link to see an unforgettable and very special video:
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Coping with the Empty Nest

by Eileen Rife (c) 2003 ~ Used with permission

(Excerpt taken from Chuck and Eileen Rife's book, When Mourning Comes, Living Through Loss) To order: www.iwanttomakemymarriagework.com
This article was also included in www.womentodaymagazine.com/family/emptynest.html

My husband, Chuck, and I stood on our front stoop waving to our oldest daughter as she pulled out of our driveway on her way to Tennessee. With a sly smile, Chuck uttered through clenched teeth, "She doesn't have a clue where she is going." I thought to myself, Neither do we! Rachel was concerned about finding her way to a Christian camp. We were concerned about finding our way through the transition years to the empty nest.  Rachel did make her ultimate destination. Sometimes, I wondered if Chuck and I would.

THE REALITY OF PARENTING
As Chuck held the storm door open for me, he joked, "Parenting reminds me of that line in the Jurassic Park movie, 'First comes the oohing and aahing, and then comes the running and the screaming.'" One of the main characters, a scientist, who had previously been to the dinosaur reserve, was explaining the typical reaction of a newcomer to the park. Then, when faced with an actual life-sized dinosaur, reality set in. As new parents, we had experienced our share of "oohs and aahs." No longer "new kids on the block," we now embraced the glaring reality that parenting is just plain hard work and at times, downright scary. Some days, we just wanted to scream--at our kids, at ourselves for handling a situation badly, or simply to release the pain we felt at saying goodbye to our grown children.

PARENTING IS TERMINAL
As I said goodbye to Rachel that day on her way to camp, I realized anew that parenting is terminal. It does eventually come to an end, or at least it should under healthy conditions. I spent the year before Rachel's high school graduation coming to terms with that fact. Grieving her lost childhood and uncertian about my new relationship with her, I snuck behind doors to conceal my tears, scurried off to the bathroom in the middle of dinner to blow my nose, and smothered her with hugs whenever she walked past me.

SAYING GOODBYE DOESN'T MEAN FOREVER
One day, while washing dishes, I burst into tears. Rachel walked into the kitchen and I immediately opened a cabinet door to hide my face. I didn't want to make her transition from home any harder on her than it already was. I started to leave, but as I turned to walk away, Rachel looked me straight in the eyes, took me in her arms and squeezed. That "squeeze" opened the door for a closer relationship, as I no longer tried to shut her out of my pain. We could now walk through the transition together. With broken voice, I stammered, "I know you have to leave. That's good and right. Please bear with me as I deal with saying goodbye. Crying is just part of being a mom." Rachel quietly responded, "I know. And guess what? Saying goodbye doesn't mean forever. I'll be back."

Notes on Grandparenting, Letting Go and Growing Old Together

by Lois Breneman, © 2004, Heart to Heart 

        While on the Outer Banks of North Carolina with our family for a week in July, it was so much fun watching our sixteen month old grandson, Justin Daniel, toddling out to the ocean with excitement!  That will be a treasured picture! He laughed and squealed with delight as the waves came and washed over him, sometimes splashing in his face.  With all the sunscreen on his slippery little body, I got a real good grip on him, hoping he wouldn't slip out of my hands!!   In this case, I'd better not "let go!"

        Justin surprised us with two new molars during vacation!  One day at the beach, after being splashed by the ocean waves, he sat right down to play in the sand at the edge of the ocean.  Soon the waves filled his diaper with grit and all of a sudden, he let out a blood curdling scream to let us know that he was in pain!  He had diaper rash, which came along with the molars as often happens, and that gritty sand didn't feel too good against diaper rash!  After a quick bath in the ocean, Desitin, and a dry diaper, he sat on a quilt with his mommy and grandma under the canopy his parents brought to shield him from the sun's rays.  He just loved playing in such a big sandbox!

        Soon he was dipping a little green sprinkling can that I brought for him into a bucket of salt water, then pouring the water into the sand.  You should have seen Justin's eyes the first time he poured water in the sand and the water instantly disappeared!  That didn't stop him though!  He was so fascinated with that procedure that he dipped and poured for over an hour, as his daddy, mommy and I kept refilling his bucket!

        Another day Justin and I walked along the beach as he picked up seashells. When he found another shell, he'd "let go" and drop the one he was already holding.  After encouraging him to give me the shells to save for him, we had his very first seashell collection for Mommy to save or add to his sandbox at home. 

        Ladies, I know many of you are "letting go" for the first time as your oldest child goes off to college.  Seeing your child go off to kindergarten can even be very difficult.  Some of you are seeing your last child leave the nest.  Don't lose heart though.  This can be a wonderful time in your life, as your children hopefully chose to live out what you have taught them.  I pray whatever transition your family finds itself in, the Lord will give you His wisdom and peace. 

        Regarding your present or future empty nest, may I suggest that you and your husband work at rekindling your marriage relationship?  Find something special to do together and work at making your marriage a growing and content relationship.  Hopefully you already have at least one common activity to do together before your children leave home, but if not, find at least one now.  A special ministry done together is a wonderful option - pray, teach or go on visitation together.  Play table games, put puzzles together, or look to gardening, remodeling, walking, hiking, exercising, tennis, sailing, golfing, painting or wood crafts.  Some couples read books together, by taking turns reading aloud and discussing the contents.  The important thing is to find time to do something together and have fun doing it.  Incorporate "dates" into your marriage.  Make a date to do some of the activities above.

        Make a list of those qualities in your husband that first attracted you to him.  If he doesn't look like he did when you first met, remember that goes both ways!   Be accepting of each other, and remember your marriage commitment and all the good family memories the two of you have built together with the Lord's help.  The marriages of far too many couples fall apart after their children leave home, sometimes because the couple doesn't spend time together, but instead they engage in their own separate activities.  Change that possibility and work at growing old together. 
     You will find helpful suggestions at these websites:

www.focusonthefamily.orgwww.familylife.com
www.iwanttomakemymarriagework.com.  

Dear World

by Dan Valentine

 

        My young son starts school today.  It's going to be sort of strange and new to him for awhile, and I wish you would sort of treat him gently.

        You see, up to now he's been king of the roost.  He's been boss of the backyard.  His mother has always been near to soothe his wounds and repair his feelings.

        But now things are going to be different.  This morning he's going to walk down the front steps, wave his hand and start out on the great adventure.  It is an adventure that might take him across continents, across oceans.  It's an adventure that will probably include wars and tragedy and sorrow.  To live his life in the world he will have to live in, will require faith and love and courage.

        So, World, I wish you would sort of look after him.  Take him by the hand and teach him things he will have to know.  But do it gently, if you can.

        He will have to learn, I know, that all men are not just, that all men are not true.

        But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero ... that for every crooked politician there is a great and dedicated leader.  Teach him that for every enemy, there is a friend.

        Steer him away from envy, if you can and teach him the secret of quiet laughter.

        In school, World, teach him it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat.  Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone says they are wrong.  Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with tough people.

        Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone is getting on the bandwagon.  Teach him to listen to all men, but teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and take just the good that siphons through.

        Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he's sad.  Teach him there is no shame in tears.  Teach him there can be glory in failure and despair in success.

        Treat him gently, World, if you can, but don't coddle him ... because only the test of fire makes fine steel.  Let him have the courage to be impatient.  Let him have the patience to be brave.

        Let him be no man's man.  Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself ... because then he will always have sublime faith in mankind.

        This is quite an order, World, but see what you can do.  He's such a nice little fellow, my son!

 

 

Food Ideas for Life in the College Dorm

by Lois Breneman 

            Mothers, do you have a college-bound son or daughter, who will be leaving the nest in August or September?  Although board does include three meals a day, all college kids seem to enjoy supplementing their diets in their dorms as well.  Maybe that’s why the average college freshman gains fifteen pounds.  Nevertheless, to help ease your mind and no doubt make your grown-up child happy as well, you might want to send him or her to college with a care package of food, at least emphasizing the fruits and vegetables.  Since many college kids these days have a microwave and even a small refrigerator in each room, the snack possibilities have definitely expanded since most of us were in college. 

            For students who only have a microwave available, however, the following staples will keep in the closet almost indefinitely: Canned soups, canned tuna and chicken, canned vegetables and fruit, applesauce, Lipton rice and pasta dinners, macaroni and cheese, chili, noodles, canned spaghetti, stovetop stuffing, microwave popcorn, hot chocolate mix, herbal tea, coffee bags (like tea bags), peanut butter, crackers, oatmeal, raisins, dried cranberries and salsa to use as a dip with tortillas.

Perishable fruits that will last a few days include apples, bananas, oranges, grapes and plums, with apples lasting the longest.

Potatoes could be baked in the microwave and topped with canned chili, tuna or creamed soup.

A small crockpot (1 quart) can also be purchased new for about $10, which would definitely increase the options. 

Be sure to include a few dishes, flatware and cups, possibly some disposable, as well as a few dishcloths, cloth towels and paper towels for clean-up.