Revised from a much shorter typewritten list I found in my files, from an unknown source. Quite a few additional guidelines were added as well.
We honor and obey the Lord Jesus Christ.
We love, honor and pray for one another.
We put the interests of others ahead of our own.
We speak quietly and respectfully with one another.
We are kind and considerate to each family member.
We strive to be truthful in everything.
We look for ways to help others without being asked.
We don't hurt others with unkind words or actions.
When someone needs correction, we correct him in love.
When someone is sorry, we forgive him.
When someone is sad, we encourage and comfort him.
When someone is happy, we rejoice with him.
When we have something nice to share, we share it.
When we have work to do, we do it without complaining.
We take good care of everything God has given us.
We do not create unnecessary work for others.
When we open something, we close it.
When we take something out, we put it back.
When we make a mess, we clean it up.
When we turn something on, we turn it off.
When we don't know what to do, we ask.
We encourage each other to live to their fullest potential.
When we leave the house, we let other family members know.
When we go out, we remember from whence we came.
Our family is a team and we stick up for each other.
Inspirational Home and Family Blog
Showing posts with label Family Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family Relationships. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Friday, July 3, 2015
5 Tips for Better Understanding Your Teenager
Used with permission by Momscape
http://www.momscape.com/wordpress/category/parenting-tips/
http://www.momscape.com/wordpress/category/parenting-tips/
Do
you ever feel like your connection with your teen is slipping? Here are
five tactics for stopping the slip...steps you can take to get closer
to them and to better understand them.
#1 Ask Questions and Listen
The first step to understanding your teen is to ask questions. Now there's a strategy here. Many teens give yes/no answers when you ask them a question. The trick is to do it when they're more likely to open up. Driving in the car seems to be a good time.
When you ask questions, make sure to listen to the answers - even if you don't understand half of the words they're using. It's okay to ask for clarification. As you're listening, take mental notes. They'll come in handy in the next step.
#2 Google It!
If you have no idea what your child is talking about, Google it. Google the things they express interest in, the people, and even the language they use. The Urban Dictionary can be incredibly useful. For example, "Feels" - A wave of emotions that sometimes cannot be adequately explained. "Watching Back to the Future gives me all sorts of nostalgic feels."
#3 Listen
One of the best ways to better understand your teen is to listen in to see what they're talking about with their friends, and what kinds of things their friends are involved in. Try to be around them when they're with their friends. Attend events with them. Volunteer to drive them and their friends to events. And encourage them to invite their friends over.
#4 Get Involved
Start taking an active interest in your teen's interests. For example, if they're involved in the local drama club then volunteer to help out with the club. If they are active online and have their own YouTube channel, then by all means watch that channel but also watch the other YouTubers that your child follows.
#5 Relax
Each generation has their own trends, language, and interests. Guaranteed, when you were a teenager your parents thought you were from another planet as well. It's the way of the world. It's okay to not be able to completely relate with your teenager. In fact, it's normal.
Do what you can to connect with them. Let them know that you're interested in their lives and then relax. You don't need to be a friend with your teenager, nor do you need to share the same interests. It's enough to let them know that you care.
#1 Ask Questions and Listen
The first step to understanding your teen is to ask questions. Now there's a strategy here. Many teens give yes/no answers when you ask them a question. The trick is to do it when they're more likely to open up. Driving in the car seems to be a good time.
When you ask questions, make sure to listen to the answers - even if you don't understand half of the words they're using. It's okay to ask for clarification. As you're listening, take mental notes. They'll come in handy in the next step.
#2 Google It!
If you have no idea what your child is talking about, Google it. Google the things they express interest in, the people, and even the language they use. The Urban Dictionary can be incredibly useful. For example, "Feels" - A wave of emotions that sometimes cannot be adequately explained. "Watching Back to the Future gives me all sorts of nostalgic feels."
#3 Listen
One of the best ways to better understand your teen is to listen in to see what they're talking about with their friends, and what kinds of things their friends are involved in. Try to be around them when they're with their friends. Attend events with them. Volunteer to drive them and their friends to events. And encourage them to invite their friends over.
#4 Get Involved
Start taking an active interest in your teen's interests. For example, if they're involved in the local drama club then volunteer to help out with the club. If they are active online and have their own YouTube channel, then by all means watch that channel but also watch the other YouTubers that your child follows.
#5 Relax
Each generation has their own trends, language, and interests. Guaranteed, when you were a teenager your parents thought you were from another planet as well. It's the way of the world. It's okay to not be able to completely relate with your teenager. In fact, it's normal.
Do what you can to connect with them. Let them know that you're interested in their lives and then relax. You don't need to be a friend with your teenager, nor do you need to share the same interests. It's enough to let them know that you care.
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Two Parents Living in Separate Homes Raisng One Child
by Amanda Jasek - Used by permission
To be apart from your child for any length of time is challenging but when days go by it makes the challenge even harder. If you are like me or know someone living this out, today my hope is that I can send some encouragement your way through my story and what I have learned in this six year process.
At only eight months old her daddy and I separated. As in most divorces it was painful, messy and scary. Dealing with our emotions while deciding what to do with the house, the items in the house, but most of all, our precious baby would be quite a journey. How could we agree to go days without seeing her? And so, the divorce/custody process began. After many lawyer visits, co-parenting counseling and court visits the decision was made: Mommy’s house Thursday evening to Friday morning and Daddy’s house from Friday evening to Thursday morning every other week.
Insecurity was huge for me. Questions of her loving dad and his family more to forgetting me while she was away were hard. The best of all was, “I’m not really a mom because I don’t have my child full time.” It wrecked me. Friends and family were scared too and so I prayed. I remember it so clearly, while I was praying over all these emotions I felt this inner strength come over me and it became so clear - “I am her momma no matter where she is.” I realized that no matter how many people we encounter in life, there is no replacing Mommy and Daddy. Realizing my role is where my confidence as a momma began to blossom. Yes the insecurities still pop up, but God has been and is so faithful to carry me through into a new vision and strength to carry on.
A few things I practice are:
1. Words. NEVER speak ill of Daddy. He is her heart and I want to nurture that relationship as best I can.
2. Share. If it is my week with her but something important is going on that Dad wants her to be a part of, I am totally OK with it.
3. Stay engaged. Even though I am not in the home, I keep the relationship open with her dad so in the event she is sick and needs Mommy I can be there.
4. Encourage. There are only two people that are going to love this kid alike…. Mom and Dad! Encourage each other of that.
5. Pray. When a child is away from the other parent it is special to cover the other parent in prayers.
6. Honesty. A child is not to be split between parents. Sometimes their heart hurts not being with the other parent and that is OK. Allow honesty to flow.
7. Confidence. Be confident in who you are as the parent which provides security.
8. Structure. What happens at your house does not sway based on what happens at the other home.
9. Talk. If there is something that concerns me I chat with her dad about it.
10. Trust. Trust that the other parent does have the best interest of the child at heart.
11. Together. When a new person is brought into her dad’s life as I am re-married, the “mission statement”, if you will, is “you marry him you marry me.” We are two parents, two homes…. one mission.
Each family has its own challenges this I know but I encourage you to be the best that you can be! Pray most, forgive often and embrace each day moment by moment. And for those times when people ask me where my girl is, I simply reassure them she is with her daddy because she needs both of us. Most people will react to it the way you respond to it. Be confident and remember no competition is to be had. We each have special roles in her life.
Follow Amanda on her blog at http://2himigo.wordpress.com.
As the journey of blending a family & co-parenting continue, there are many growth opportunities Amanda is discovering along the way. With her determination to know God on an intimate level, and her dedication to study the Bible, she has learned many truths – some discovered through tears and some in moments of joy. It is her passion to share those truths with other women so they too can experience freedom and obtain courage to continue in the journey of life. Amanda Jasek has been married to her "love from above" for 3 years. She and her husband, Aaron, reside in VA with their 3 daughters named Alyssa, Stephanie and Madalynn.
To be apart from your child for any length of time is challenging but when days go by it makes the challenge even harder. If you are like me or know someone living this out, today my hope is that I can send some encouragement your way through my story and what I have learned in this six year process.
At only eight months old her daddy and I separated. As in most divorces it was painful, messy and scary. Dealing with our emotions while deciding what to do with the house, the items in the house, but most of all, our precious baby would be quite a journey. How could we agree to go days without seeing her? And so, the divorce/custody process began. After many lawyer visits, co-parenting counseling and court visits the decision was made: Mommy’s house Thursday evening to Friday morning and Daddy’s house from Friday evening to Thursday morning every other week.
Insecurity was huge for me. Questions of her loving dad and his family more to forgetting me while she was away were hard. The best of all was, “I’m not really a mom because I don’t have my child full time.” It wrecked me. Friends and family were scared too and so I prayed. I remember it so clearly, while I was praying over all these emotions I felt this inner strength come over me and it became so clear - “I am her momma no matter where she is.” I realized that no matter how many people we encounter in life, there is no replacing Mommy and Daddy. Realizing my role is where my confidence as a momma began to blossom. Yes the insecurities still pop up, but God has been and is so faithful to carry me through into a new vision and strength to carry on.
A few things I practice are:
1. Words. NEVER speak ill of Daddy. He is her heart and I want to nurture that relationship as best I can.
2. Share. If it is my week with her but something important is going on that Dad wants her to be a part of, I am totally OK with it.
3. Stay engaged. Even though I am not in the home, I keep the relationship open with her dad so in the event she is sick and needs Mommy I can be there.
4. Encourage. There are only two people that are going to love this kid alike…. Mom and Dad! Encourage each other of that.
5. Pray. When a child is away from the other parent it is special to cover the other parent in prayers.
6. Honesty. A child is not to be split between parents. Sometimes their heart hurts not being with the other parent and that is OK. Allow honesty to flow.
7. Confidence. Be confident in who you are as the parent which provides security.
8. Structure. What happens at your house does not sway based on what happens at the other home.
9. Talk. If there is something that concerns me I chat with her dad about it.
10. Trust. Trust that the other parent does have the best interest of the child at heart.
11. Together. When a new person is brought into her dad’s life as I am re-married, the “mission statement”, if you will, is “you marry him you marry me.” We are two parents, two homes…. one mission.
Each family has its own challenges this I know but I encourage you to be the best that you can be! Pray most, forgive often and embrace each day moment by moment. And for those times when people ask me where my girl is, I simply reassure them she is with her daddy because she needs both of us. Most people will react to it the way you respond to it. Be confident and remember no competition is to be had. We each have special roles in her life.
Follow Amanda on her blog at http://2himigo.wordpress.com.
As the journey of blending a family & co-parenting continue, there are many growth opportunities Amanda is discovering along the way. With her determination to know God on an intimate level, and her dedication to study the Bible, she has learned many truths – some discovered through tears and some in moments of joy. It is her passion to share those truths with other women so they too can experience freedom and obtain courage to continue in the journey of life. Amanda Jasek has been married to her "love from above" for 3 years. She and her husband, Aaron, reside in VA with their 3 daughters named Alyssa, Stephanie and Madalynn.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Treat Your Spouse at Least as Well as You Treat People at Church or Work
by Dr. Dave Peterson, LPC
http://drdavepeterson.com - Used by permission
A person in marital counseling was beginning to understand when they said, “I get it, what you are saying is that I should treat my spouse at least as well as I treat the people at work, or church.” At least this was a good start.
A person in marital counseling was beginning to understand when they said, “I get it, what you are saying is that I should treat my spouse at least as well as I treat the people at work, or church.” At least this was a good start.
Think about how you treat people OUTSIDE the home. You greet them, “Good morning,” not “Murmur, mutter.” You say, “Please” and “Thank you,” not, “Give me that.” You call people by name, “Charles,” not “Hey you.” You use “Yes, Sir” and “Ma’am,” not “Yup, okay.” You converse with others, rather than give them the silent treatment. You may reply to, “When do you need this done?” with, “I needed it yesterday, but when do you think you can get it done?” You don’t yell across the room, you walk over to people and speak with a gentle and quiet voice. Differences are dealt with privately, not in front of an audience. You take every opportunity to encourage others in their work. You listen without interruption. You suggest solutions to problems and discuss them.
You do this every day at work, why not at home? These twelve little courtesies raise the probability you will keep your job. Maybe these ways would keep your marriage strong and your children from rebelling.
Some say, “Yes, but that is work. Home should be where you relax, let your guard down, be yourself.” I’d like to tell you that I never let my guard down, but I will also tell you it doesn’t go well when I do. When I do practice these twelve simple courtesies I find I do relax at home, I find pleasure being there.
Practice these courtesies for thirty days at home and they will become as natural there as they are at work. See if it doesn’t make a great difference in your home life.
Question: Have you faced a moment recently where lack of basic courtesy was easier than taking the high road? How did you convince yourself to take the high road and see it through? What was the result? Please leave a comment.
Source: Ephesians 5:21-33
New King James Version (NKJV)
21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
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