Reflections of a Preacher’s Wife: Post-it Note #158

by Connie Post
July 19, 2015
http://graceintherealworld.com/ - Used by permission

Today is my 18^th wedding anniversary. My husband was already a preacher when I married him and so my life has been on display before a congregation of people since before I said “I do”. All these years later we have ministered in many settings to multiple congregations and have been blessed with 5 great kids.

We have been supported and loved and prayed for by the people of our congregations. They have celebrated our victories and walked with us through some dark and challenging days. Those folks who have made a difference for us are the ones that know the following things:

1. The preacher’s family is a real family. They don’t have it all together. They are sinners just like the rest of the world and can’t be held up on a pedestal or unrealistic standard. They blow it sometimes. They lose it with their kids. They are learning as they go, just like you are. Sometimes their house is a wreck. Sometimes they need a break or a vacation or time away. They don’t know the answers to every question. They need your prayers for wisdom.
2. The preacher’s kids are kids. They act like kids. They might run at church if Mom isn’t watching. They don’t come into the world knowing how to act. And when they are at church their dad is working so mom is a “single-mom” on Sunday mornings. If you talk to her at church expect her to be looking over your shoulder while listening so that she can keep her eyes on her kids. Because EVERY unsupervised kid wants to jump on the stage or swing from a chandelier whether they are related to the preacher or not. They need your prayers to balance it all.
3. Preacher’s kids give up their dad a lot. They share him with everyone. Mom is often the one teaching them to ride bikes and taking them to recitals and soccer games because Dad is ministering to the church family. So it’s likely they didn’t see dad all day Saturday and greeting time on Sunday is the first time they’ve seen him in a while. If they go hug their dad on Sunday morning, it’s because they need too and not because they are trying to interrupt “real ministry” to the church. Preacher’s come and go, but he’s the only Dad they have. The preacher’s family doesn’t get a quiet holiday at home. Dad is planning an event for the church family to come to.  So if the preacher’s kids seem tired, clingy or out of sorts, they need to be given a little slack. They need your prayers for strength.
4. The preacher’s family is under attack. Satan loves to trample on the preacher’s family. He comes after their marriage, their kids individually, and their family unit. He is constantly trying to distract them and cause disunity. And often Saturday night or Sunday morning is when he takes his best shots. So maybe the kids aren’t all dressed to the nines and their hair isn’t smooth as glass on Sunday morning. Maybe mom is looking a little frazzled. She got those kids dressed by herself and out the door and maybe what she’s wearing at the moment is the best she could do on this particular morning because she was so busy fighting the devil to even get there. Judgment never helps the preacher’s family. It only adds to Satan’s schemes. They need your prayers for protection.
5. The preacher may be a godly man, but he’s still a man. You can’t expect more of him than he can give. And the preacher’s wife may be a godly woman but she’s just a woman with limitations too.  Sometimes she has to say “no” to the lists of tasks and responsibilities that others want from her. Her number one priority is her family. She can’t apologize or feel guilty for that. It’s hard to make choices like this, because nobody want to say  “no” to people they are called to minister to and yet don’t want to short change their family.  It’s a constant tightrope.  They need your prayers for stamina.
6. The preacher’s family answers to God for their actions, their parenting, and their ministry. They shouldn’t be expected to act according to the standards of individuals in the church. They can’t parent their kids according to the way others parent. They should be allowed to minister according to their spiritual gifts and not according to the list of expectations of what a preacher of preacher’s wife or preacher’s kids should do, look like or be like. They need your prayers for courage.
7. When they go through a tough time, they need your support. It’s hard to struggle publicly. It’s hard to live in a “fish bowl” for everyone to watch. They need your love and they need your prayers.

Pastoral Candidates

Author unknown

The following is a confidential report on several candidates being considered for a pastorate:

 

ADAM: Good man but problems with his wife.

 

NOAH: Former pastorate of 120 years with not even one convert.  Prone to unrealistic building projects.

 

JOSEPH:  A big thinker, but a braggart, believes in dream-interpreting, and has a prison record.

 

MOSES:  A modest and meek man, but poor communicator, even stuttering at times.  Sometimes blows his stack and acts rashly.  Some say he left an earlier church over a murder charge.

 

DAVID: He is an unacceptable moral character.

 

SOLOMON: Great preacher but our parsonage would never hold all those wives.

 

ELIJAH:  Prone to depression.  Collapses under pressure.

 

HOSEA:  A tender and loving pastor but our people could never handle his wife's occupation.

 

DEBORAH: Strong leader and seems to be anointed, but she is female.

 

JEREMIAH: Emotionally unstable, alarmist, negative, always lamenting things, reported to have taken a long trip to bury his underwear on the bank of a foreign river.

 

ISAIAH:  On the fringe?  Claims to have seen angels in church.  Has trouble with his language.

 

JONAH: Refused God's call into ministry until he was forced to obey by getting swallowed up by a great fish.  He told us the fish later spit him out on the shore near here.  We hung up.

 

AMOS: Too backward and unpolished.  With some seminary training he might have promise, but has a hang-up against wealthy people - might fit in better in a poor congregation.

 

JOHN: Says he is a Baptist, but definitely doesn't dress like one. Has slept in the outdoors for months on end, has a weird diet, and provokes denominational leaders.

 

PETER: Too blue collar.  Has a bad temper - even has been known to curse.  Had a big run-in with Paul in Antioch.  Aggressive, but a loose cannon.

 

PAUL: Powerful CEO type leader and fascinating preacher.  However, short on tact, unforgiving with younger ministers, harsh and has been known to preach all night.

 

JAMES and JOHN:  Package deal preacher and associate seemed good at first, but found out they have an ego problem regarding other fellow workers and seating positions. Threatened an entire town after an insult.  Also known to try to discourage workers who didn't follow along with them.

 

TIMOTHY: Too young!

 

METHUSELAH:  Too old . . . WAY too old!

 

JESUS:  Has had popular times, but once his church grew to 5,000 he managed to offend them all, and then this church dwindled down to twelve people.  Seldom stays in one place very long.  And, of course, he's single.

 

JUDAS:  His references are solid.  A steady plodder.  Conservative. Good connections.  Knows how to handle money.  We're inviting him to preach this Sunday.  Possibilities here.