Nonsense Stories to Help with Spelling

by Lois Breneman - Copyright 1999 - Heart to Heart

I'd love to read other nonsense stories, written to help with spelling. 
No doubt your children could do better than these!

A Nonsense Story Using "ei" Words
Spelling Rule: Use "i" before "e" except after "c" and in words which have a vowel sound as in "neighbor" and "weigh."

The foreign heiress had to forfeit her reign at the height of her popularity, because of her conceited spirit.  When she did, her people seized her veil, her weird counterfeit crown, and the receipt for all her royal freight.  They carried everything away in their sleighs and received each other as neighbors.  When she heard how they had deceived her, all her weight hit the ceiling and burst a blood vein!  Neither of her eight children would help.  Her husband wouldn't either.  So ends this tragic story of conceit and deceit.

A Nonsense Story for Plurals
Spelling Rule:  For "f" and "fe" words, usually drop the "f" or "fe" and add "ves," except in the following, add "s."

The giraffes climbed up the cliffs onto the roofs with handcuffs on their hoofs, of which we have many proofs.  They were seen by chiefs and dwarfs.  The chiefs have secret beliefs printed out about dwarfs in their safes.  One is that when dwarfs die, the chiefs are all required to show their griefs by blowing their nose in their handkerchiefs!

Memorization Tips / Spell Cheque

MEMORIZATION TIPS

 

The Great Lakes ~ When I was teaching my kids the Great Lakes, I told them to remember the word, "HOMES" (Lake Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, and Superior).  They learned them in quick time. ~ A great tip from Debbie Klinect in Florida! 

If you want to learn them in order from west to east (left to right), learn the sentence, "Sam's Horse Must Eat Oats."
(Lake Superior, Huron, Michigan, Erie and Ontario).

SPELL CHEQUE
Author unknown  (The English language can be confusing with different spellings and meanings!  Just read this and see!) Please read the complete left column first, then the second column.  I try to squeeze everything into less pages if possible.  For a great test of the proper use of the English language, have your children correct this poem.  Or do it yourself!

 

   Eye halve a spelling chequer                                  
As soon as a mist ache is maid
   It came with my pea sea                                          
It nose bee fore two long     
   It plainly marques four my revue                             
And eye can put the error rite
   Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.                                 
Its rare lea ever wrong.

 

   Eye strike a key and type a word                           
Eye have run this poem threw it
   And weight four it two say                                        
I am shore your pleased two no   
   Weather eye am wrong oar write                           
Its letter perfect awl the weigh  
   It shows me strait a weigh.                                      
My chequer tolled me sew.

An Ode to English Plurals

Compliments of Bill's PunchLine by Bill Rayburn -  bill@billrayborn.com

If you or your children get frustrated with the English language and spelling, here's why!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes / But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes. / One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, / Yet the plural of moose should never be meese. / You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, / Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. / If the plural of man is always called men, / Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? / If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, / And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? / If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, / Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, / Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, / and the plural of cat is cats, not cose. / We speak of a brother and also of brethren, / but though we say mother, we never say methren. / Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, / but imagine if the feminine were: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it ... English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? We ship by truck but send cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet that smell. We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing, if father is pop, how come mother's not mop?
 

Tips and Tidbits

If Out of Confectioner's Sugar ~ Here's how to save a trip to the store of you run out.  Put granulated sugar in your blender.  Blend at top speed and you will have powdered sugar!

How to Test the Freshness of Baking Soda and Baking Powder ~
       To test baking soda, put 1/4 tsp. of baking soda into 2 tsp. white vinegar.  If it fizzes, it is fresh! 
       To test baking powder, put 1 tsp. of baking powder into 1/3 cup of boiling water.  It it fizzes, it's fresh.  If not, toss it!

Clean Corn Silks Away by using a thick rubber band!  Twist the rubberband, hook over forefinger and thumb, spread your fingers apart and wipe away the silks with a downward motion, while griping the husked ear of corn with the other hand.  This was shown by a guest on Rachael Ray's cooking show. ~ Thanks to Elinor Wright in Virginia for sharing this tip!

Steamer to the Rescue ~ My electric can opener was sluggish, in that the knob used to insert the can under the blade was difficult to move.  I used my hand-held steamer on the can opener and presto!  All the goo or gunk that was inside, keeping the knob from turning easily, came oozing out and it works like a charm again!

How to Find Water Leaks in Your Home ~ Our water bills were higher than normal, so my husband and I set out to find the problem.  After he thought he heard water running somewhere in the house, he used the "stick to the ear" trick, by touching a stick to a water pipe in the house and putting it to his ear, like a stethoscope.  Next my husband made sure all the water faucets and toilets were turned off, one by one, while I held the stick touching the water pipe to my ear, until we found the one that was leaking.  It was one of the toilets and after he replaced the float and valve assembly, the problem was solved, saving future high water bills. So if your water bills increase unexpectedly, try this.

Basket of Country Style Balls as a Decoration ~ Cut 3/8 to 1/2 inch wide fabric of country plaids and stripes into long strips.  Using several sizes of wooden or Styrofoam balls, wrap a strip of fabric around a ball, securing with white glue as you go until it is completely covered.  Use a variation of fabrics.  Put them into a rustic looking basket to set on a coffee table or end table. ~ Thanks to my daughter-in-law, Emily Breneman in Virginia for teaching me how to do this fun project!

How Tall Will Your Child Grow to Be?  http://www.babycenter.com/child-height-predictor?scid=preschooler_20091215:4&pe=2UfZZbo

More Information on Broken Crayons ~ In the last newsletter you mentioned broken crayons..we take ours and use muffin tins to put the pieces in..bake at 300 F. until melted and then allow to harden..these are great for little hands that love chunky crayons! ~ Lynne Wight in Maine

         Wanted to tell you we used a muffin tin and those foil muffin liners to "bake" broken crayons. Katherine and Luke loved them! They were great for regular coloring, but what we loved the most was using them to make rubbings. I taught children's Sunday school then and brought home a big container of broken crayons and made a slew of these for my class.  Big hit! ~ Barb Campbell in Mississippi 

For Immediate Hire: Activities Director, housekeeper, day care center teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager, van driver, CEO, psychologist, computer operator, facilities manager. Please note that all titles have to be fulfilled by one person, and your compensation is being appreciated by your husband, and, once in a while, a "thank you" from your children. ~ Author unknown ~ Thanks to Diane Fenlason, a busy mom of four in Montana for this contribution!  I'm sure all of you Mamas out there can relate to this one!  Don't ever forget what a valuable "employee" you are, ladies!  Your wages will come later and have eternal dividends!

Photo Technology ~ Jalisa Wenger in Pennsylvania shares this information:
      If you have film negatives, did you know that CVS puts them on CD for a decent price? Then you can easily order reprints or view the pictures on a computer? Walmart does it too but their quality was awful. Lee’s Camera will do it as well but their price is awful (if you have a lot to do)!! CVS did it for my sister-in -law for $3.40 and the pictures looked good when I viewed them on our computer.
      I enjoy mail time this time of year!  Getting photos from family and friends is a highlight!  Some photos and letters come by email and are welcome as well.  I decided to try developing a photo that came by email and although the quality wasn't top notch, it worked amazingly well.  I just saved the attachment, then inserted a memory stick (or camera card) into the correct slot.  Then go into "My Documents" where it was saved and right click on the picture and go to "Send to" and click the appropriate destination for it.  Then you can take the memory stick and develop it wherever you develop digital photos! (You could also burn the picture to a CD to take it to be developed.)

Spelling Is Important! ~ Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. If you can raed tihs, psot it to yuor wlal. Olny 55% of plepoe can. ~ Thanks to Lori Staley in Ohio and Nancy Marlow in Pennsylvania for this one!

Spelling Tips

SPELLING TIPS FOR KIDS WITH ADHD

 
An Ounce of Ketchup, produced by A. L. Dash & Sons, PO Box 714 Graham, NC 27253  www.goaskmom.com

Used by permission

Each year people ask about spelling hints. It's a huge deal for kids - especially throughout elementary school. Here are some hints - new and old. And note that there's a link to even more at the end of the section:

~Go outside and spell while swinging - one letter on back, the next on front. (In this weather, you might need to use a rocking chair inside!)

~Spell the word on a large index card using a different colored marker for each syllable.

~Put the spelling to music. Like "J-E-L-L-O" or "B-O-L-O-G-N-A". (This works for locker combinations, too, and important phone numbers.)

~Try the "sail" method, in which you write the word on lines, adding a letter on each until it is done (and looks like a sail):
      b
      br
      bri
      brin
      bring

~Fill a gallon sized zip lock bag with a small layer of liquid tempera paint, close it and write a word on the bag.

~You spell the word out loud, and have your child tell you which word you're spelling.

~Practice writing and saying common suffixes by themselves without the word: ing, ion, tion, ed.

~Use sign language to spell.

~Let your child use a voice recorder to record the spelling and then listen to her own voice.

~Use play-dough to spell out the words.

~Use an electronic dictionary.

There are more hints at www.adhd-inattentive.com