Treat Your Spouse at Least as Well as You Treat People at Church or Work

by Dr. Dave Peterson, LPC

http://drdavepeterson.com - Used by permission

A person in marital counseling was beginning to understand when they said, “I get it, what you are saying is that I should treat my spouse at least as well as I treat the people at work, or church.” At least this was a good start.

Think about how you treat people OUTSIDE the home. You greet them, “Good morning,” not “Murmur, mutter.” You say, “Please” and “Thank you,” not, “Give me that.” You call people by name, “Charles,” not “Hey you.” You use “Yes, Sir” and “Ma’am,” not “Yup, okay.” You converse with others, rather than give them the silent treatment. You may reply to, “When do you need this done?” with, “I needed it yesterday, but when do you think you can get it done?” You don’t yell across the room, you walk over to people and speak with a gentle and quiet voice. Differences are dealt with privately, not in front of an audience. You take every opportunity to encourage others in their work. You listen without interruption. You suggest solutions to problems and discuss them.

You do this every day at work, why not at home? These twelve little courtesies raise the probability you will keep your job. Maybe these ways would keep your marriage strong and your children from rebelling.

Some say, “Yes, but that is work. Home should be where you relax, let your guard down, be yourself.” I’d like to tell you that I never let my guard down, but I will also tell you it doesn’t go well when I do. When I do practice these twelve simple courtesies I find I do relax at home, I find pleasure being there.

Practice these courtesies for thirty days at home and they will become as natural there as they are at work. See if it doesn’t make a great difference in your home life.

Question: Have you faced a moment recently where lack of basic courtesy was easier than taking the high road? How did you convince yourself to take the high road and see it through? What was the result? Please  leave a comment.

Source: Ephesians 5:21-33

New King James Version (NKJV)

²¹ submitting to one another in the fear of God.
²² Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. ²⁴ Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, ²⁶ that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, ²⁷ that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. ²⁸ So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. ³⁰ For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. ³¹ “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” ³² This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. ³³ Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.