Heart to Heart: October 2013

Friday, October 25, 2013

The Powerful Habit of Choosing Kindness

by Matthew and Lisa and Jacobson - Used by permission

Today we’re talking about Choosing Kindness as part of our series The Seven Habits of a Highly Fulfilling Marriage.

For The Wives

I was always so happy to see her.

Whenever she dropped by – I dropped everything. Smiled and gave her a hug. Suggested that she stay awhile and made her a cup of tea.

They were just little things, I know. But it was my way of saying “I care about you” and “you are dear to me”. Simple, small acts of kindness offered to a friend.

My husband watched it all from the other room. I think I’d forgotten he was even home that day. Observing it all from his favorite chair.

Then I noticed a rather melancholy look in his eyes. Sort of sad with a bit of regret. And so later I asked him about it.

“What? What were you thinking while Susan was here?”

He shrugged, but I wasn’t about to let him off that easily. I had to know. Please tell me. Even if hurts.

He started out slowly, “I couldn’t help wishing. And wondering.”

Yes….I urged impatiently.

“Well, why you wouldn’t smile like that at me. You know, drop everything and give me a big hug when I walked through the door. Offer to make a pot of coffee. Things like that…things like you did for her.”

He was right. And it hurt.

My husband – that man I love – was only looking for a little kindness. Small gestures of thoughtfulness. From me. His wife.

You might say it was a turning point for us. Before that I considered kindness as something you “felt” toward someone – more like a sentimental impulse. I didn’t understand that it was something you could simply choose.

And I certainly didn’t understand that this was something my husband needed from me.

A Kind Wife Who…

Smiles warmly. She lights up when she sees her man.

Looks up lovingly. When he walks in. Sure, she’s busy, but always has a moment for him.

Replies graciously. She doesn’t snap or snarl. She saves her sweet tone for him.

Offers thoughtfully. She looks for those little ways to bless him.
And on her tongue is the law of kindness. Prov. 31:26

Admittedly, this took some effort on my part. I’m sorry to say it didn’t flow naturally from me, but at least it came more easily as time went on.

And now it’s just my way of saying, “I care about you” and “you are dear to me.” Simple, small acts of kindness offered to a friend.

Who also happens to be my husband.

That man I love.

In His grace,
Lisa Jacobson

For The Husbands

I never meant to be unkind but there I was, getting dressed as her words stabbed me deeply.

Why do you leave your dirty laundry all over the floor? Do you want the maid to pick up after you?

Maid? I don’t treat you like a maid.

Really? Then why can’t you carry your dirty laundry ten feet to the laundry basket, instead of throwing it on the floor? You’d never treat someone else like this.

Ouch . . . it was true, I never would. When I’m in a hotel, I even hate leaving the towels on the floor. So, what was I thinking? . . . was I thinking?

Or take the exhausted wife with young children whose husband regularly kicks back after work but rarely thinks of giving her a break.

Or the husband talking with me while keeping his back to his wife the entire time.

How about not considering her needs and desires when we’re being intimate?

There are a lot of ways to be unkind.

Choosing kindness in action, word, or tone communicates: I care deeply about how you feel. When a woman knows . . . feels . . . she is deeply cared for, she finds herself in a safe place where giving of herself becomes a pleasure. Without kindness, the habitual kindness, the highly fulfilling marriage you desire will remain a desire, nothing more.

There are plenty of good reasons to develop the habit of kindness but there’s one reason that trumps them all: God commands it:

Be kind to one another, Eph.4:32

There is a great deal of power in your possession – power that is unleashed to envelope your spouse with love when you learn the habit of choosing kindness in the many everyday moments that make up a marriage.

And, it is a choice – a choice for you and for me to make every day. And, yes, it flows both ways but, men, we are the initiators (or should be if we’re not).

If you need to know specifics, humbly ask your spouse where you need to change. And if being made aware isn’t enough, ask God to do His work in your heart and head.

Embrace the Habit of Choosing Kindness and you’ll be in fellowship with God, with your spouse, and on the road to a highly fulfilling marriage.

Matthew

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Perfect Love

Source unknown, but this I Corinthians 13 Bible passage goes along with this poem very well.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+13&version=NIV

May we all strive to live according to this passage and poem!

Slow to suspect - quick to trust.
Slow to condemn - quick to justify.
Slow to offend - quick to defend.
Slow to expose - quick to shield.
Slow to reprimand - quick to forbear.
Slow to belittle - quick to forbear.
Slow to demand - quick to give.
Slow to provoke - slow to conciliate.
Slow to hinder - quick to help.
Slow to resent - quick to forgive.

Are Eggs Good for You? 30 Reasons to Eat Eggs

http://healthextremist.com/are-eggs-good-for-you-30-reasons-to-eat-eggs/

Eggs have gotten a bad rap in the past and unfortunately, many today still believe the wide spread misinformation.

Are eggs good for you? Do they cause heart disease? Do they raise cholesterol? Should I avoid them?

Depending on who you ask, you may get very different answers to these questions. Many traditional doctors still would answer that eggs increase cholesterol and should be avoided. Some are adamant that only the egg white should be used because of the cholesterol in the yolk. Even when trying to research this topic, some articles still push the idea that eggs are harmful and in order to prevent health problems, one should avoid them.

I have to admit that I once believed the propaganda spread in the media and by drug pushing corporations. It wasn’t until I first began seeing a naturopath that I heard that eggs are good for you and the doctors are the ones who have it wrong. Sure, the first time my naturopath said that, I thought he must be crazy, how could doctors be wrong? Sadly, they are and not just about eggs.

Eggs are actually a super-food, they are packed with nutrients vitamins and health benefits!

But don't eggs raise your cholesterol?

One of the main reasons eggs are avoided is due to fear of them increasing cholesterol. However, several studies have shown that not only do eggs not raise LDL cholesterol, but lower it. According to a recent study, those consuming 3 eggs per day over 12 weeks were found to have lower LDL cholesterol and raised HDL. Another study showed that those who consumed 4 or more eggs per week had lower cholesterol than those who only ate one egg per week.

Eggs are good for you! Here's why:

1. Eggs are Full of Vitamins and Minerals- Including vitamins B, C, D, E, K, and more.

2. Lower High Blood Pressure- The peptides present in eggs were shown to help reduce high blood pressure.

3. Great Source of Protein- Eggs are a great source of protein, one egg contains 6 grams of protein.

4. Omega 3’s- Eggs contain a high level of essential omega-3 fatty acids, an essential nutrient and good for your heart.

5. Nine Essential Amino Acids- Eggs are known as the perfect food as they contain all 9 of the essential amino acids.

6. Can Lower Your Cholesterol- Eggs do contain cholesterol, however as mentioned above, studies have shown that those who consume eggs regularly had a reduced LDL and an increase in HDL (the good cholesterol).

7. Boost Brain and Nerve Health-One egg contains 20% of the daily recommended intake of choline. Approximately 90% of Americans are choline deficient. Choline is essential for phospholipids used in all cell membranes. Adequate levels of choline are essential for brain and nerve health.

8. Contain Lutein and Zeaxanthin- These carotenoids are an essential component for eye health and defend against the damaging effects of free radicals.

9. Contain Tryptophan and Tyrosine- Two amino acids which have great antioxidant properties. Tryptophan is also important as it is converted to serotonin, a mood enhancer and converted into melatonin in the pineal gland, which benefits sleep.

10. Reduced Risk of Macular Degeneration- Eggs protect your eyes from developing age-related macular degeneration due to the lutein and zeaxanthin present.

11. Good Source of Vitamin B12- Vitamin B12 is an important vitamin for the process of converting homocysteine into safe molecules, such as glutathione, an important antioxidant.

12. Eggs Contain Calcium- One egg contains 50mg (5%) calcium. Although not a large source of calcium, an increased intake can reduce the risk of colon polyups and breast cancer.

13. Eggs Do NOT Cause Heart Disease- The choline in eggs is a crucial nutrient to help reduce the inflammation that leads to heart disease.

14. Reduce Birth Defects- Eggs contain folate, a nutrient which studies have shown to help prevent birth defects when consumed prenatally, one egg contains 44μg (11%) of folate.

15. Good Source of Vitamin A- One egg contains 19% of the RDA for vitamin A, which plays an important role in improving the immune system.

16. Promote Healthy Hair and Nails- The sulfur contained in eggs and the additional vitamins and minerals help promote hair and nail growth.

17. Reduce Oxidative Stress- Selenium, an essential macronutrient contained in eggs helps reduce oxidative stress.

18. Reduce Risk of Tumors- Eggs are an excellent source of selenium which has been associated with preventing cancer and in particular reducing tumors affecting the prostate.

19. Eggs Protect Your Eyesight- Not only do they prevent macular degeneration, but the antioxidants in eggs also have been reported to protect eyes from damage related to UV exposure.

20. Reduces Risk of Cataracts- The antioxidants have also been linked to reducing the risk of developing cataracts in old age.

21. Improve Immune System Functioning- The iron contained in eggs helps support a healthy immune system and normal red blood cell production.

22. Lose Weight- In a study from Louisiana State University, participants who ate eggs for breakfast instead of bagels, lost more weight and reported having more energy.

23. Reduce Risk of Breast Cancer- A recent study found that women who consumed high amounts of choline, an abundant nutrient in eggs, were 24% less likely to get breast cancer.

24. Source of Vitamin D- The majority of the population is deficient in vitamin D which is essential for boosting the immune system and preventing cancer. One egg contains 41 IU of the 600 IU recommend daily amount of vitamin D.

25. Reduces Inflammation- The choline in eggs aids in reducing inflammation in the body. Chronic inflammation has been linked to increasing the risk of osteoporosis, Alzheimer’s, cognitive decline, and type 2 diabetes.

26. Beneficial for Fetal Development- The choline present in eggs is essential for pregnant women as it is crucial for proper fetal brain development and preventing neural tube defects.

27. Reduce Risk of Heart Attack and Stroke- Several studies have shown that the nutrients in eggs help prevent blood clots which reduces the risk of a heart attack or stroke.

28. Improved Memory Function- The high amount of vitamins and nutrients in eggs, in particular choline, improves memory function and cognition.

29. Eggs Can Be Inexpensive- Many are able to get eggs for a great price when bought from local farmers. Another option is to raise your own chickens! Not only does this help save money and provide you with more nutritional value, but you could sell eggs to those in the area to cover the cost of caring for them.

30. Egg Variety- There are many ways to prepare eggs, whether you eat them raw, scramble them up in coconut oil, or boil them. You can also add great variety by adding in nutritious vegetables and herbs, such as to an omelet.

Do you eat eggs? How often do you eat them?

Sources:

http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=92http://www.marksdailyapple.com/drinking-raw-eggs/#axzz2TBaYURHE http://www.naturalnews.com/034557_eggs_health_benefits_cholesterol.html http://www.naturalnews.com/032954_eggs_antioxidants.html http://www.naturalnews.com/025815_eggs_health_cholesterol.html http://www.naturalnews.com/020564_eggs_lutein.html http://www.naturalnews.com/020241_eggs_cholesterol_eating.html http://healthyeating.sfgate.com/reasons-eat-eggs-2876.html

Pumpkin Poppers - Mini Muffins
A delicious grain free recipe that uses a quite a few eggs for all the above benefits! These freeze very well.
http://heartfilledhomerecipes.blogspot.com/2012/12/pumpkin-poppers-gluten-free-grain-free.html

Flu Shot Alert

by thehealthyhomeeconomist, Sarah Pope - Used by permission

If you are pregnant or have a friend or family member who is, please pass along this study that has confirmed the link between the H1N1 vaccine and miscarriage .. the H1N1 vaccine is now included in the seasonal flu jab!

http://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/study-confirms-anecdotal-link-between-flu-vax-and-miscarriage/

Physical and Mental Benefits of Massage Therapy

Source unknown - Thanks to David and Susan Adkins at Essentials Massage for sending this!

Relaxes the whole body
Loosens tight muscles
Relieves tired and aching muscles
Increases flexibility and range of motion
Diminishes chronic pain
Calms the nervous system
Lowers blood pressure

Lowers heart rate
Enhances skin tone
Assists in recovery from injuries and illnesses
Strengthens the immune system
Reduces tension headaches
Reduces mental stress
Improves circulation
Promotes restful sleep
Aids in mental relaxation

Ahhhhhh!

An Autumn Craft: How to Make Folded Paper Leaves

(plus, a free printable template) ---->

http://www.happyclippings.com/2013/09/diy-folded-paper-fall-leaves.html

Note from Lois: These are beautiful and would be such fun to make this fall! I plan to make these at least thirteen of these in various colors with our two oldest grandchildren to use as colorful favors on our Thanksgiving table! They could also be added to autumn centerpieces or arranged around one.
And here is the pattern as well as the folded leaves that my two oldest grandchildren helped to make as favors!

For a free download for other autumn folded leaves:
http://www.instructables.com/id/DIY-Paper-Leaves-Pattern-Trick/

Moms: You Are Building God's Kingdom

by Kari Kampakis© - Used by permission

"Your greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be something you do but someone you raise." - Andy Stanley

Lately, I haven't felt very productive. In fact, for multiple nights I've gotten in bed and realized I didn't accomplish half of what I planned to that day.

As a mom, I've learned to come to peace with these days. I've learned to feel good about unproductive days if the reason I'm unproductive is because I'm caring for my family. It's taken me a long time to get here. I'm a hard evidence kind of girl, after all. When I work hard, I want proof.

But what proof remains when we love our kids in ways they care about? When we tuck them in bed at night... read with them...listen to their day...help with homework...go to special school events....take them to dance and gymnastics - is there any evidence after the fact? The reason we moms discount what we do is because many of our best contributions vanish into thin air. When they're over, they're over. We can talk about them, but often there's nothing concrete to point to.

What we need to remember is our efforts do have proof, proof that gets planted in a hidden place: the hearts of our children. That's where the seeds we instill take root and grow - first into acorns, and then, miraculously, into oak trees. It takes many, many years for an acorn to become an oak tree, but that's how the kingdom of God works. In due time and often invisibly.

So next time you're wondering what you have to show for your life, or feeling incapable because you can't manage a simple to-do list, ask yourself this: Have I loved my kids today? Is the reason I'm behind because I took care of more important business? If your answer is, "Yes," pat yourself on the back. Go beyond feeling good about your day and feel PROUD because you helped build the kingdom of God.

Any day you do that is an official success. Any day you do that is a reason to celebrate.

All of God's Creation Points to the Master Designer!

by Maria Hartman - 2013 - Used by permission

ALL of God's creation points to Him, the Master Designer of all...Check this out from my daughter's Science book: Exploring Creation with Zoololgy.

Some birds do the unthinkable and abandon their young chicks, flying south without them. The Bristle-thighed Curlew and the Short-tailed Shearwater actually leave the poor chicks before they have ever flown from their nest. They fly to a distant country thousands of miles away. They leave no directions for their little ones to follow. Yet, as is common with God's magnificent creatures, the little chicks do what God planned for them to do. They jump from their nests, find their own food, fatten up for their flight, and flock together with other abandoned chicks to fly to the very spot where their parents are. They fly 5,000 miles without ever stopping. How do they know where to go? How do they know not to stop? Remember, these little chicks have never been anywhere before and they have no parents to guide them on their journey. The incredible flights of these and other migratory birds point unmistakably to God....

What a glorious, magnificent God we have!!

Preciious Gems

I love it that when Ben (4) wakes up and tells me about his dream. He says, "I had a movie in my eyeballs." ~ Liz in Washington

Yesterday, I had to break an all-out punching-yelling-door-slamming kind of fight between the boys. After we dealt with behaviors and heart issues, I gave my closing statement: "Boys, you need to love each other." The littlest one of the three (age 6) said, "I broke their toys but I love them!" And with that a matching sweet smile. #triedsohardnottolaugh ~ Darlene in Thailand

I secretly love that Logan (4) tells me every day that he wants to marry me. I keep telling him I am already taken, but I love his heart. ~ Catie in Pennsylvania

Andrew (2) knew of the hydrangea bush that his Daddy had planted for me in our backyard. He noticed some hydrangeas in a vase on the kitchen table and asked me, "Those yours?" After I said they were, telling him that Daddy had cut them and brought them into the house for me, he said, "Those toot!" (meaning "cute") ~ Rachael in Ohio (Andrew is my precious grandson! ~ Lois)

Malakai (5): "Please you read this comic book?"
Me: "I can't because I'm driving."
Malakai: "Let me tell you somfin'. If you think about it really hard in your head, you can!" ~ Danielle in Alabama

Malakai (5): "Wat does J-E-S-U-S spell?"

Me: "Jesus"

Malakai: "Good job, Mommy! Pat yo-self on the back!" ~ Danielle in Alabama

Me: "Malakai, will you go wash the chocolate off your face?"
Malakai (5): "No ma'am"
Me: "Why not?"

Malakai: "Cause I'm chocolate all over!" ~ Danielle in Alabama

Malakai (5): "Mommy, how'd you know where my blanket was?"
Me: "Mommies know where EVERYTHING is."

Malakai: "No, only God does." #Truth ~ Danielle in Alabama

Caroline (8): "There are 8 wonders of the world. Me and those other things." ~ Jessica in Virginia

A friend of mine has identical twins boys who were arguing: Davis (8) says, "If we weren't identical twins, I'd tell you that you are ugly, Jonathan!" ~ Julie in Washington