| Author: | Jim Burns, Ph.D. |
|---|
(Note from Lois: Bullying is mentioned at the top of this article. Focus on the Family recently featured two broadcasts on this subject - http://www.focusonthefamily.com/search.aspx/search?q=Bullying. More than sixty results were found for bullying, in doing a search. Make use of this wonderful resource to do other searches on these extensive and valuable websites: www.focusonthefamily.com and http://www.homeword.com .)
Moving into a new school year is a
time of stress for all families. For kids, stress accompanies new
classes, new teachers, new friends and new academic challenges. There’s
even more stress for kids who are changing schools! But, there is
also stress for parents as we get our kids back into school year
routines, and as we help our kids deal with their stress. As parents,
our goal ought to be to intentionally work to keep the stress levels
down in our homes. Lowering the stress levels will not only help your
family, but will also do a lot to make sure your kids experience a
successful school year. Here are seven tips to help you along in the
process:
1. Create a Peaceful Home Environment
Your
kids don’t need a perfect home, but to thrive, they need a peaceful
one. Kids are at battle all day long at school. They battle peer
pressure, body image, academic pressures, relational issues with peers,
and some struggle with being bullied. They need to come home to a
place where they can retreat, drop their battle gear at the door and be
in a shelter where they can just be themselves. Your home ought to be
the one place your kids feel truly safe, where they can be loved and
known and cared for. So, even though there will be stress and conflict
at home from time to time, do your best not to let the “stuff” of
everyday life turn your home into a tense, stressful environment. Make
your home a safe, calm haven of escape from the madness going on in the
outside world. Perhaps this means starting with the noise level in
your home. Turning down the volume of television and music can help.
Try not to overreact to circumstances of home life. Sure, many issues
need to be addressed, but when you get angry or frustrated,
overreactions are common and family stress levels rise. Look to cool
down before you respond to such situations. Your family will thank
you for it. When your home is peaceful, chances are, your kids will do
better in school.
2. Encourage Your Kids to Make Time for God Everyday
In
1 Timothy 4:8, we read, “For physical training is of some value, but
godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the
present life and the life to come.” Encourage your kids to have a daily
devotional time each and every day. Having a daily time with God is a
great way for them to refresh their spirit in the presence of God.
Your modeling this discipline can go a long way in setting the example
that your kids will follow. As kids get caught up in all the demands
of school and other activities, it’s key for them to understand the
truth that “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain” (Psalm 127:1). Further, consider a regular family devotional time. Take advantage of opportunities for worship that your church offers.
3. Make Physical Needs a Priority
1
Timothy 4:8 is also a good reminder to us that “physical training is
of some value.” To keep kids healthy and functioning at their peak, as
well as to keep the stress monster at bay, we need to help ensure that
they maintain a balanced physical lifestyle. This means that they need
to get regular exercise, plenty of rest (9 to 9.5 hours per night for
teens!), and eat a healthy diet! Making sure that your kids’ physical
needs are being met takes a lot of effort, but again, kids tend to do
better in school when their bodies are well-cared for.
4. Keep the Safety Net Strong
I
mean your family, of course. Within your family, your kids find the
important relational connections that will sustain them through the
good times, as well as the bad. Strained or broken family
relationships affect other areas of your kids’ lives – like their
school performance. So, take the lead in your family to make sure your
relationships become and stay healthy. Start by evaluating whether or
not you are currently “enjoying” or “annoying” your family… then make
the changes necessary to strengthen those family ties.
5. Protect the Balance of Scheduling
Parents
will help their kids have a successful school year by protecting a
balanced lifestyle, in terms of scheduling. Look at the big picture.
School, homework, athletics, hobbies, church activities all add up to a
significant amount of your son’s or daughter’s time. Help evaluate
the effects that these various activities have on their lives. Don’t
be afraid to initiate a cutback in order to protect their most
important involvements. Help your kids to learn that no one can do
everything! Watch for emerging signs of stress. If your kids are
demonstrating stress, be sure to reevaluate their schedules.
6. Keep an Eye on Academics
There’s
no doubt that your kids’ schoolwork is important! It’s wise to take
an active role in regularly checking on how your children are doing
academically. Don’t just look for the bottom line (grades), but keep
an eye on whether or not they are learning disciplined study habits, if
they are turning in assignments on time and what areas they might need
additional help with. Having said this, let me also say, as parents
we need to maintain balance in this area! Too many parents hover over
their kids like helicopters, making sure every assignment is completed,
on time and done correctly. This actually serves to hinder our kids’
development toward independent adulthood. Kids need to learn to become
responsible in this area of their lives. Many parents today wrap
their own self-worth in how their kids are doing in school. I’ve known
parents who actually do their kids’ homework for them! “Just say no”
to this type of behavior!
7. Roll With the Punches!
No
young person is exempt from facing at least occasional difficulties
associated with school. Some are just brief “moments” while others are
“seasons.” How they respond to the hard times is a key determining
factor in whether or not anxiety will wreak havoc in their lives;
anxiety that soon begins to affect their school performance. The
people who enjoy the highest level of contentment in life are the ones
who can stay flexible when the tough times happen – and they are the
ones who end up standing when those times have passed. So, teach your
kids to roll with the punches: To face difficulties with faith and
courage, to get up off the carpet when they fall, to dust themselves
off, work to constructively resolve their problems and to move on is a
key life lesson they’ll thank you for – for years to come!
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