Things to Consider Teaching Your Children
before That Day Comes
by Lois Breneman - Heart to Heart - 2014
before That Day Comes
by Lois Breneman - Heart to Heart - 2014
Consider thinking about and listing the knowledge, experiences, and skills you would like your children to have a grip on before they leave the love and security of your home. What do they need to know to live on their own, and later as they marry and have a family of their own? Parents, as well as grandparents, teachers, aunts, uncles, and friends can all have a hand in the teaching, depending on the choice of the parents. Do all you can to help them prepare for every area of their lives, including the spiritual, physical, emotional, educational, vocational, and financial, as well as all that goes along with keeping a home.
I will never forget one of my friends telling me just before she got married that she had never cooked a meal in her entire life! Wow! And it's been known that, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I often wondered what they ate during their first year of married life!
It's just a fact that a child equipped with plenty of practical skills will do better in life than those who are lacking in them. It's never too late to start teaching your child the basics. It's also never too early to start! A toddler can learn scripture verses and songs, as well as how to do simple tasks such as taking trash to the trash can, running a cordless vacuum, helping to fold washcloths, matching socks, and picking up toys - a few jobs they are capable of doing and will gladly do for you.
A five year old can unload the dishwasher, by first putting away the silverware, then stacking the dishes neatly on the counter top rather than in high cabinets, and putting pots and pans away in the lower cabinets, as my five year old grandson has been doing. I rarely ever had to unload the dishwasher in our home. First our daughter did this job. Then ever since our older son was six, it was his job to unload the dishwasher before I drove our children to school, and later our younger son took over the job until he left for college.
A five year old can unload the dishwasher, by first putting away the silverware, then stacking the dishes neatly on the counter top rather than in high cabinets, and putting pots and pans away in the lower cabinets, as my five year old grandson has been doing. I rarely ever had to unload the dishwasher in our home. First our daughter did this job. Then ever since our older son was six, it was his job to unload the dishwasher before I drove our children to school, and later our younger son took over the job until he left for college.
Using the internet, your children can learn a lot. After researching a subject, then comes the practical use of that knowledge! YouTube is a great source of learning how to do almost anything - many life skills such as sewing, cooking, crafts, DIY projects, how to fix a car, and an unlimited number of things. I'm not suggesting that your children simply know where to find that information, but to "do" many of those activities while they are still in your home. By doing that, they will learn many skills that will serve them well throughout their lives by increasing their creativity, giving them confidence, saving them a lot of money, and passing on their skills to their own children. Many skills are lost because we do not teach them to our children. Grandparents, do your best to revive the lost arts by instilling them in your grandchildren!
When teaching a child how to do almost anything, it is good to use this four-step process (Show, Help, Do, Inspect):
When teaching a child how to do almost anything, it is good to use this four-step process (Show, Help, Do, Inspect):
1. Show the child how to do a certain job or skill.
2. Have the child help you do that same job or skill.
3. Let the child do it himself.
4. Inspect his work in an effort to have him do the best job possible.
If you or your husband do not possess the skill to teach your children in each of these areas, find someone who can. Possibly you can swap children with another family if another mom is more skilled in sewing, while you are more gifted in another skill. You may also need to hire someone to teach certain skills to your children. It will be money well spent if your child learns a skill that will be used throughout life.
4. Inspect his work in an effort to have him do the best job possible.
If you or your husband do not possess the skill to teach your children in each of these areas, find someone who can. Possibly you can swap children with another family if another mom is more skilled in sewing, while you are more gifted in another skill. You may also need to hire someone to teach certain skills to your children. It will be money well spent if your child learns a skill that will be used throughout life.
I've listed various areas below with suggestions, but advise each family to sit down and make their own list. In the following segments below, when I say, "Know how to," I really mean that the child should "do" these activities. After all, that is how one actually learns - by doing!
For each child, keeping a notebook of knowledge, experiences, and skills learned would be most helpful! If a three-ring notebook is used, extra pages could be added along the way in this exciting journey to adulthood. Since children start their knowledge, experiences, and skills before they are able to write and keep a notebook themselves, of course, the parent or grandparent would need to start the notebook to record all that each child learns during the early years. During their first seven years, they will learn more than you realize they ever could in the areas of spiritual development, character development, and manners.
For each child, keeping a notebook of knowledge, experiences, and skills learned would be most helpful! If a three-ring notebook is used, extra pages could be added along the way in this exciting journey to adulthood. Since children start their knowledge, experiences, and skills before they are able to write and keep a notebook themselves, of course, the parent or grandparent would need to start the notebook to record all that each child learns during the early years. During their first seven years, they will learn more than you realize they ever could in the areas of spiritual development, character development, and manners.
The following segments are just a guide for parents and grandparents. You will want to make your own list, but basically teach your children to have accomplished the goals in each of these areas before they leave home:
Spiritual Development
Spiritual Development
Know the good news of the gospel, and hopefully they have already accepted Christ as Savior - and experienced a real heart change.
Know various ways to have personal devotions and have meaningful personal devotions.
Know various ways to have personal devotions and have meaningful personal devotions.
Have a clear understanding and practice of prayer.
Have a good number of scripture verses firmly etched in memory. A list for review is important as well.
Be able to sing some hymns - know the words and melodies. There is so much biblical truth in the hymns.
Character Development
Obedience to parents
Character Development
Obedience to parents
Kindness - how to treat others
Self discipline
Self confidence
Forgiveness
Dependability
Truthfulness
Trustworthiness
How to control anger
Compassion for others
Helpfulness
Respectfulness
Joyfulness
Patience
Putting others first
Forgiveness
Dependability
Truthfulness
Trustworthiness
How to control anger
Compassion for others
Helpfulness
Respectfulness
Joyfulness
Patience
Putting others first
Manners
Say "please" and "thank you" when appropriate.
Carry on a meaningful conversation - like playing tennis (taking turns speaking).
Write thank you notes.
Learn not to interrupt.
Learn how to introduce people.
Learn to share possessions.
Help others (siblings, friends, neighbors, and others).
House Cleaning
Keep bedroom picked up, organized, and clean.
Keep bedroom picked up, organized, and clean.
Clean a bathroom (cobwebs, walls, mirror, tub, toilet, sink, shower, counter, floor, walls, knick knacks).
Dust with a lamb's wool duster and a cloth.
Polish furniture.
Remove cobwebs.
Wash windows and mirrors.
Polish silver and brass.
Polish furniture.
Remove cobwebs.
Wash windows and mirrors.
Polish silver and brass.
Sweep and vacuum hard surface floors.
Wet mop floors.
Steam mop floors.
Vacuum carpet.
Clean a microwave.
Clean an oven.
Wash and dry dishes by hand.
Load and unload a dishwasher.
Wash and/or polish kitchen cabinets.
Wet mop floors.
Steam mop floors.
Vacuum carpet.
Clean a microwave.
Clean an oven.
Wash and dry dishes by hand.
Load and unload a dishwasher.
Wash and/or polish kitchen cabinets.
Money Management
Write a check.
Balance a checkbook.
Pay bills (by actually doing it with parents).
Manage money wisely.
Balance a checkbook.
Pay bills (by actually doing it with parents).
Manage money wisely.
Tithe money.
Save money.
Spend money wisely.
Save money.
Spend money wisely.
Control impulse buying.
Have a good work ethic.
Take care of what you own.
Repair things you own, rather than instantly tossing them.
Earn money (babysitting, tutoring, mowing lawns, gardening, landscaping, shoveling snow, farm work, dog sitting, washing cars, etc.).
Clothing
Keep bedroom floor clear of clothing, and put clothes away properly.
Have a good work ethic.
Take care of what you own.
Repair things you own, rather than instantly tossing them.
Earn money (babysitting, tutoring, mowing lawns, gardening, landscaping, shoveling snow, farm work, dog sitting, washing cars, etc.).
Clothing
Keep bedroom floor clear of clothing, and put clothes away properly.
Match separates to extend a wardrobe.
Shop at thrift stores to stretch dollars.
Do own laundry or learn to be responsible for part of family's laundry. Several children could take turns with various loads.
Learn basic spot removal tips.
Make homemade laundry soap (very effective at cleaning clothes and super inexpensive).
Use an iron (some things do need ironing).
Do own laundry or learn to be responsible for part of family's laundry. Several children could take turns with various loads.
Learn basic spot removal tips.
Make homemade laundry soap (very effective at cleaning clothes and super inexpensive).
Use an iron (some things do need ironing).
Cooking
Properly wash produce.
Read a recipe and follow through.
Double or triple a recipe.
Freeze food (the basics).
Clean up after making a mess in the kitchen.
Use measuring spoons and measuring cups.
Know and understand measurements (3 tsp. = 1 Tbsp. and 4 Tbsp. = 1/4 cup, etc.)
Bake cookies from scratch.
Bake a cake and make frosting from scratch.
Know how to use an oven, microwave, blender, crockpot.
Know the basics terms of cooking and baking and how to do each one (check a cookbook for terms).
Pack balanced lunches. Be responsible for at least some of them.
Know the basics of meal planning.
Plan a week of meals.
Double or triple a recipe.
Freeze food (the basics).
Clean up after making a mess in the kitchen.
Use measuring spoons and measuring cups.
Know and understand measurements (3 tsp. = 1 Tbsp. and 4 Tbsp. = 1/4 cup, etc.)
Bake cookies from scratch.
Bake a cake and make frosting from scratch.
Know how to use an oven, microwave, blender, crockpot.
Know the basics terms of cooking and baking and how to do each one (check a cookbook for terms).
Pack balanced lunches. Be responsible for at least some of them.
Know the basics of meal planning.
Plan a week of meals.
Make coffee.
Make tea.
Know how to make eggs different ways, a breakfast casserole, pancakes, waffles, French toast, and oatmeal.
Know how to make a healthy smoothie.
Make tea.
Know how to make eggs different ways, a breakfast casserole, pancakes, waffles, French toast, and oatmeal.
Know how to make a healthy smoothie.
Know how to make a meal of meat, potatoes, and vegetable.
Know how to make a casserole and salad meal.
Know how to make meatloaf.
Know how to cook brown rice.
Know how to bake potatoes.
Know how to make homemade soup.
Know how to make homemade pizza.
Know how to make muffins, biscuits, quick bread, and yeast bread - all from scratch.
Know how to use the crockpot to make meals, especially roast beef, roast chicken, and roast turkey breast.
Know how to make a homemade pie.
Cook an entire meal - then another and another (as in real life).
Know how to make a casserole and salad meal.
Know how to make meatloaf.
Know how to cook brown rice.
Know how to bake potatoes.
Know how to make homemade soup.
Know how to make homemade pizza.
Know how to make muffins, biscuits, quick bread, and yeast bread - all from scratch.
Know how to use the crockpot to make meals, especially roast beef, roast chicken, and roast turkey breast.
Know how to make a homemade pie.
Cook an entire meal - then another and another (as in real life).
Gardening
Plant a garden and care for it:
Know how to grow several vegetables.
Know how to grow several herbs.
Know how to grow several flowers.
Know how to grow several vegetables.
Know how to grow several herbs.
Know how to grow several flowers.
Know the difference between a vegetable, herb, flower, and a weed.
Know how to freeze vegetables and herbs.
Know how to dry herbs.
Know how to freeze vegetables and herbs.
Know how to dry herbs.
Sewing
Know how to sew on a button
Know how to hem a skirt or pair of pants by hand, using a simple blind stitch
Know how to mend clothes - fix a small rip or tear
Know the basics of sewing with a sewing machine and do at least a few projects (pillow, skirt, shirt, dress, quilt). Some young girls have made doll clothes for American Girl Dolls and put themselves through college by selling them. Having a sewing skill could also grow into a home business, so after marriage a young mother could stay home with her children, and sew doll clothes or possibly do custom sewing and alterations.
Know how to hem a skirt or pair of pants by hand, using a simple blind stitch
Know how to mend clothes - fix a small rip or tear
Know the basics of sewing with a sewing machine and do at least a few projects (pillow, skirt, shirt, dress, quilt). Some young girls have made doll clothes for American Girl Dolls and put themselves through college by selling them. Having a sewing skill could also grow into a home business, so after marriage a young mother could stay home with her children, and sew doll clothes or possibly do custom sewing and alterations.
Other Skills
Explore the possibilities of playing an instrument or singing.
Explore the possibilities of taking a class to learn a craft, cake decorating, wood working, sewing, knitting, crocheting, etc..
Explore the possibilities of playing a sport, but don't allow this one to take over your life and squeeze out time for other things, as this often happens.
Organization
How to be organized - learning basic skills and following through by using a turntable, shoe organizer, boxes in a drawer.
Automobiles
How to change a tire
How to change oil in car
How to wash a car
How to wax a car
Know the rules of driving
How to drive a car
How to pack a car.
How to change oil in car
How to wash a car
How to wax a car
Know the rules of driving
How to drive a car
How to pack a car.
Practical Household Skills
Hang a framed picture or mirror.
Use a Magic Eraser for multiple uses.
Use a plunger.
Free a clogged drain.
Free a clogged drain.
Change a light bulb.
Know at least 6 basic essential oils and their many uses. Put some into practice. This will come in handy someday!
Make several DIY natural substitutes for products such as body cream, deodorant.
Make several DIY natural substitutes for products such as body cream, deodorant.
Tie various knots.
Know how to pack for a trip.
Health and Safety
Know how to eat to be healthy.
Know alternative remedies for everyday ailments.
Know First Aid.
Know CPR.
Know measures of safety.
Know how to pack for a trip.
Health and Safety
Know how to eat to be healthy.
Know alternative remedies for everyday ailments.
Know First Aid.
Know CPR.
Know measures of safety.
Building
Know how to use a hammer, screw driver (regular and Phillips), pliers,and other tools.
Learn how to make a woodworking project and follow through with making it.
Technology
(I'm laughing because the younger generations seem more equipped to teach us older folks in this area! Let them teach you then!)
How to use a computer
How to use a cell phone
How to use a Kindle and other technology
How to use a computer
How to use a cell phone
How to use a Kindle and other technology
Fishing and Hunting
How to catch a fish and clean it
How to shoot a deer, and cook venison
Laws
Know basic laws.
How to shoot a deer, and cook venison
Laws
Know basic laws.
Problem Solving
Give your child various problems which happen daily, and let him help solve them. Then discuss it.
Now, lest any of you parents feel like you could never teach your children all of these skills, please do not worry about that! My husband and I did not teach my own children to do every single one of these either. In fact, I never even thought of some of the things on this list at the time! Like I said, make your own family's list and it will work for you. In fact, you may want to add more to this list!
A Special Note to Grandparents
Grandparents, a wonderful gift for us to present to our grandchildren would be a personalized notebook with a list divided into segments, similar to this one! Tell each one of your grandchildren you will do all you can to help them learn many of the skills listed, so they will be well equipped as an adult, and they may have more ideas to add to the list. What memories you will give them, along with skills to last a lifetime! It's so easy to buy a gift at the store, but this is a gift of yourself for as long as you can have input into their lives. Of course, I believe the spiritual aspect on this list is of utmost importance, because of the eternal consequences of their decision while on earth to follow or reject Christ. Let's be a part of pouring good things into the lives of our children and grandchildren!
This notebook would be a very special gift to grandchildren - like an heirloom gift because the lasting benefits of what they will learn with your being intentional in teaching them. The benefits will last a lifetime and even into the next generations! I plan to make a personal notebook for each of our five grandchildren, starting with the older ones. There are two other heirloom gifts I have been making for our grandchildren. When our children's first child turns one year old, I've been giving that child a thirty-two page cloth quiet book (to be shared with siblings). The third quiet book will be given next weekend to our son's baby girl, Raelle Elizabeth! As I worked on the third quiet book, I was thinking I just might have to make extra books - one for each grandchild, so they can use them with our great-grandchildren some day. My six year old granddaughter was helping to sew Raelle's book last week, and was so excited that she had her mother get their own quiet book out again, and she enjoyed looking through all the pages once more. The third heirloom gift I am making for each grandchild is a large quilt that should last for many years to come. The second quilt is in construction right now.
So, grandparents, please don't think you no longer have much to offer your children! You can be pouring your lives into your grandchildren's future. We certainly do have much to offer! Let us all be intentional in doing so!
A Special Note to Grandparents
Grandparents, a wonderful gift for us to present to our grandchildren would be a personalized notebook with a list divided into segments, similar to this one! Tell each one of your grandchildren you will do all you can to help them learn many of the skills listed, so they will be well equipped as an adult, and they may have more ideas to add to the list. What memories you will give them, along with skills to last a lifetime! It's so easy to buy a gift at the store, but this is a gift of yourself for as long as you can have input into their lives. Of course, I believe the spiritual aspect on this list is of utmost importance, because of the eternal consequences of their decision while on earth to follow or reject Christ. Let's be a part of pouring good things into the lives of our children and grandchildren!
This notebook would be a very special gift to grandchildren - like an heirloom gift because the lasting benefits of what they will learn with your being intentional in teaching them. The benefits will last a lifetime and even into the next generations! I plan to make a personal notebook for each of our five grandchildren, starting with the older ones. There are two other heirloom gifts I have been making for our grandchildren. When our children's first child turns one year old, I've been giving that child a thirty-two page cloth quiet book (to be shared with siblings). The third quiet book will be given next weekend to our son's baby girl, Raelle Elizabeth! As I worked on the third quiet book, I was thinking I just might have to make extra books - one for each grandchild, so they can use them with our great-grandchildren some day. My six year old granddaughter was helping to sew Raelle's book last week, and was so excited that she had her mother get their own quiet book out again, and she enjoyed looking through all the pages once more. The third heirloom gift I am making for each grandchild is a large quilt that should last for many years to come. The second quilt is in construction right now.
So, grandparents, please don't think you no longer have much to offer your children! You can be pouring your lives into your grandchildren's future. We certainly do have much to offer! Let us all be intentional in doing so!
