Used by permission
You can also read A Dozen Ways to Reach Your Son’s Heart.
I nearly panicked when our first daughter was born. That sweet baby girl.
Not
sure exactly why, but I keenly and immediately felt my inadequacy as a
mother. It’s true we had a son, but I guess I figured that if things
ever went wrong, I could always hand him over to his dad.
But a girl…..?
I knew a girl needs her mother.
I knew a mom has to care for her heart – oh, how well I knew!
I knew she would turn to me to learn how to be a woman and to navigate the complexities of life.
What I didn’t know was just how to go about it. How does a mom look after her daughter’s heart?
1. Walk together. The
girls and I have some of our best talks when we’re out walking
together. Maybe it’s the fresh air, or the steady movement of our legs,
but there’s something about it that opens hearts and minds to good
conversation.
2. Take tea together.
Although we have a very busy household, most every day we sit down and
enjoy a cup of tea for 15 to 30 minutes. It’s a daily connecting point
and a nice opportunity to bring up questions, grievances, or just fun
news.
3. Bring home little gifts.
This is the “love language” of one of our daughters in particular. It’s
only something small, but it says to her that I’m thinking of her. And
all my girls appreciate the sharing of a bit of chocolate.
4. Set aside a special time for her.
The girls love it when we make special plans together. Sometimes I’ll
grab one and take her out to a cafe. Or we’ll all dress up and attend a
fancy event for an evening.
5. Work together.
For me, it’s less about “getting the job done” and more about the
camaraderie of working together. Talking and laughing while we fold
clothes or prepare a meal.
6. Seek her out.
Don’t wait for her to come to you. My girls mentioned recently how much
they appreciate being checked on to see how they’re doing.
7. Take the time to listen.
Lots of time. A girl’s heart cannot be rushed or squeezed in between a
zillion other priorities. She needs her mom to be available to simply
listen to her thoughts and concerns. Her fears and her insecurities. Her
hopes and her dreams.
8. Pray for insight.
It isn’t always clear how to reach through to your daughter. Be
prepared to earnestly pray over her, asking the Lord to show you what
she needs from her mom.
9. Guide her with wise instruction.
A daughter relies on her mom’s wisdom and solid counsel – helping her
to sort through the choices, relationships, struggles, and challenges
that face a young woman.
10. Enjoy her for who she is.
She is uniquely made by God. So delight in her personality, her gifts,
and, yes, even her more annoying traits. She needs to feel her mother’s
loving acceptance.
11. Be patient with the process.
She’s not going to get it all right, all the time. And that’s okay.
I’ll remind myself, “How it is today, isn’t necessarily how it’s always
going to be.” Give her room to grow.
12. Offer encouragement.
Tell her specific things that you admire and appreciate about her.
Communicate that you are confident in her future and that God has good
plans in store for her life.
So, as you see, it
takes a significant amount of time and effort to connect with a girl’s
heart. It’s not simple and it’s certainly not a science. No wonder I
panicked.
But your daughter – that sweet baby girl – sure is worth it, isn’t she?
Yeah, I think so too.
These are a few of the ways I connect with the girls in our family. What are some of yours?
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