Moving Thoughts from a Foster Mom and Foster/Adoption Books

by Aisling Solarek - Used by permission      

We took the Foster Care class. Finished the class in April. On a Thursday. Got our first foster baby boy the next day! He was with us for a week. He was with us for respite. His foster family were taking a weeks break. You know you can be approved for respite care? You can take the class and help those foster families who need a short break. Respite. A friend of mine is a respite foster mom and she has provided a loving home for many children while their foster families rest. April 16, God brought us a two year old boy and an 8 month old girl. I have told you about them before and told you how quickly we all fell in love. These two were younger than Conor and Erin and we had the perfect little family. Four kids. Two boys. Two girls. This little guy and little girl have an older brother and sister. As I would bring my little ones to visit their parents at the Department of Social Services, I would see their older brother and sister. I would hear them say to their younger brother and sister, "I really miss you. I love you. I will see you next week."  I could see the sadness as they would not only have to leave their parents. They would have to leave their siblings.

 

I started to fall in love with them. I was hoping someone in my church would take the older two children so they could be close to their younger siblings. I was really hoping God wouldn't pick me. Do you ever feel that way? If we took the older two, I felt like my life would get too messy. I mean, Conor would not be the oldest child in the family. What was this going to do to Conor and Erin? I was worried about MY children.I was worried about what others would say or think? God said to me, "They are all MY children." 

 

God's heart breaks for ALL of the children in the World. Mine should too, right? So in August we asked the DSS if we could foster all four children so they could be together. They told us to wait until the end of December. We were willing and obeyed God. That is all we could do. So we went home and waited for God to bring these two children into our family. I will tell you that the enemy shows up when you are standing up for children in need. People in need. Life isn't easy. Whose life is?

 

Everyone has something. You know why we have something? It's so we bring our something to God. In our weakness HE is made strong. HE can do all things. HE can be our strength. God also brings blessings. Our neighbor was moving and she asked me if I would like a set of bunk beds and mattress. Yes please!! You know what the precious part of that was? The bunk beds matched the other furniture. God cared about the girl's room enough to send us free matching furniture. Isn't that precious? That's God. I didn't do that. God gave us another dresser for free. We bought two for a great price on Craig's List. We bought a bed for 15 dollars at a second hand store. God provides. Now, just so you know, all of our bedroom furniture is second hand (except for our crib and matching dresser that my mom bought when we were pregnant with Conor). We treat the children how we treat ourselves.

I had two families from my church give me Christmas presents for the kids. Things that looked brand new that their family didn't need anymore. Awesome!! God was so kind to give us months to prepare for the older two children. We had time to prepare our hearts and our home. We had time to emotionally prepare our children. We had time for a trip to Disney World!  God brought the two older children to us on December 22.  It has been over three weeks since they arrived.

 

The oldest boy and Conor are best friends! They have so much fun together!! Wow! How God blesses obedience! They are on the same basketball team. They play Star Wars together. The six children have a great time together and they have all been so good! I am in shock that they all clean up after themselves. They enjoy doing chores. They fold and put away their own laundry (5 of the 6 kids do this!) Blessed? I am blessed. The children are blessed to be together. but I am blessed to watch how beautiful this all is. God came after these four siblings and He has a super plan for them. He has a plan for my six children. If I obey God, I will see beautiful things.

Often beauty comes from ashes, right? I have noticed a few things. The amount of doctor appointments sky rockets. Babysitters for date night are a must. Paper plates are a must. Laundry is never-ending but the big jump in that one was going from 2 kids to 4. Honestly 6 kids is not thaaaat much different than 4.  Honestly!  Going from 2 to 4 was a bigger adjustment.

 

The older kids bring different advantages to the table. The younger ones fit nicely into the family but cannot verbalize all that has happened in their little lives. The older children can verbalize which has been sad, but good that we can help them process their pain. I feel like labels have been put on older foster children that should not be there. Biological parents have made mistakes. The children have not. Number 1 rule? Treat these angels how you would want someone to treat your children if for some reason you could not take care of them. Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. Be slow to label children. We know the Miracle Worker. His name is Jesus.

 

 

FOSTER/ADOPTION BOOKS
compiled by Aisling Solarek - Used by permission

 

Orphanology by Tony Merida and Rick Morton

Adopted for Life by Russell D. Moore

The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis, David Cross and Wendy Sunshine

Dear Birthmother by Kathleen Silber and Phylis Speedlin

Bloodlines by John Piper (understanding the issues surrounding inter racial adoption)

Thriving as as Adoptive Family by David and Renee Sanford (Focus on the Family book)

A resource I have enjoyed is the Focus on the Family radio. They have said so much about Adoption and it has been a huge blessing to me to hear from others who have walked a similar road.  http://www.focusonthefamily.com/radio.aspx