8/4/09 Part 1 - Wedding Tips and Ideas

 HEART TO HEART NEWSLETTER
ENCOURAGEMENT TO WOMEN

Compiled especially for you with love by Lois Breneman

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8/4/09  Part 1 - Wedding Tips and Ideas

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Dear "Heart to Heart" Ladies,

Most of the newsletters pertain to mothers of young children, and most of the time I fall short in including articles and ideas for teens and young adults.  Well, this one is for the young adults who are planning a wedding now or hope to in the future.  My husband and I are praying specifically for some of you that the Lord will lead you to His choice of a husband - in His own time!

       
For the young mothers who think weddings are way too far in the future to read or save this newsletter, that time will be here before you realize it!  You will be able to glean something from this newsletter even though your children are toddlers.

       
These wedding topics are in alphabetical order, as they should be in your "Wedding Planning Notebook," except for "Planning," which must come first!

       
Instructions and recipes to make some of the items mentioned can be found in Part 2 Wedding Tips and Ideas.  Go to the Category List in the sidebar, and click on "Weddings," and you will find Part 2.

       
"Heart to Heart" ladies who contributed to this issue are listed at the end of the alphabetized wedding topics.

God's blessings to each one!

                Lois

PLANNING

Start a Wedding Planning Notebook.  There's no need to buy one - just make your own.  There are many details that can be thought through early on.  I started my Planning Notebook before we were engaged, fine tuning the details with John after he popped the question, and we had plenty of time to get ready for that very special day.  

I also kept a wedding planning notebook for our daughter's wedding since she was so busy working as a Registered Dietitian during the planning months for her wedding.  She gave me almost free reign, which was really fun!  Of course, I checked out all the details with her before carrying through with them.  

We could not have done it without that notebook though - having everything in one place!  I'd suggest all the topics be placed in alphabetical order to find them quickly.  The notes below are some you may want to include.  Take your wedding notebook wherever you go, so you have all the information you need at your fingertips.  A good friend suggested having a clear pocket on all the index pages for saving receipts - a great idea!

Consider the cost of a wedding and reception.  Having a wedding on a budget has been a real education, one family commented as they prepared for their daughter's wedding.  It was almost a competition to see who will be rewarded with our business with the best prices!  One mother of the bride said their daughter will have a beautiful wedding with adequate food and in a beautiful venue, yet they will still be keeping everything within the budget of $5,000 (including the wedding dress and photographer).  What a rewarding accomplishment after she recently went to two of her nieces' weddings, each of which cost her brother $30,000!  

The bride and groom need to decide what would be most important to them for their wedding day.  Having a Christian testimony throughout the wedding and reception?  A beautiful, fairy tale wedding gown?  A lovely formal meal?  Beautifully arranged flowers?  Sharing the day with friends and family in a beautiful wedding, but not going overboard in the spending? Whatever the focus, make that the priority.  Many brides and grooms would rather save as much as possible on the wedding and put their money into their home.  Remember that a wedding lasts only part of one day, but a marriage will last a lifetime, that is if both partners are in the center of God's will and work at serving the Lord and each other. 

The bride might have a "meeting" at her house to discuss wedding plans, who has what skills and might help, what they can borrow, etc.  Don't worry about the small stuff.  Let others help make some of the decisions for you with regard to seating arrangements or other details.  One woman said it was not easy to let so many of the "important" decisions go to other people and trust that they would do things as well as she would, but she did and their wedding was really a wonderful day in the end - and a day that was brought about by so many people who loved and cared about them.
 

Each wedding, from decorating to music to the ceremony, should reflect the bride and the groom.  Don't worry about comparing your wedding to others.  Reflect your own personality and tastes.  Be original.  

In planning, remember doing Online searches is extremely helpful.  A search for "Wedding Planning Details" will produce websites like this: http://www.weddingdetails.com/planning/   We used to only have the local library for details - from making wedding accessories to wedding cakes, invitations, music, and writing your own vows.  Now the ideas are endless with the computer!

BRIDESMAIDS' DRESSES
For the bridesmaid's gowns for our end-of-summer wedding, I bought the fabric in a color that I liked as well as looked good on all the bridesmaids and made them so everyone could wear them later.  The dresses were long and fully lined but were made of an informal fabric, and they could be cut off later and worn as dressy dresses.  I made matching headpieces as well, back when bridesmaids wore headpieces.  Another practical option for bridesmaids' dresses is to use a two-piece suit pattern.

Some brides today choose to go with the trend of using the same fabric but allowing the bridesmaids to choose their own style in a dress.  Bridal shops offer many varieties of styles in the same fabric as well.  You may want to set some modesty guidelines and approve each one as they try on the dresses, however, since some tend to be quite immodest.  

I've known brides who found their bridesmaids' dresses in a department store or a mail order catalog, such as Chadwick's.  They weren't labeled as bridesmaids' dressers, but they were perfect, the cost was very reasonable, and the dresses could be worn again.

If you or a family member is a good seamstress, pick out a fabric and allow the bridesmaids to choose a pattern that compliments her figure.   Another subscriber said to decide on a color and start looking at second-hand stores, clearance sales, or Online.  Perhaps you want traditional fall colors, jewel tones or pastels.  Just as long as the colors coordinate. 

CAKES

It is more economical if you chose not to have flowers made from frosting, but have a plain cake, decorated with real or silk flowers.  Check to see if the person who makes your cake will arrange flowers on each layer for a stunning effect.  

Some brides have made their own wedding cakes, as my sister did.  Then she made a beautiful tiered cake for us later.

It is more economical to use sheet cakes or cupcakes to serve the guests and have real cake only for the top tier (which the bride and groom keep to eat on their first anniversary) and the bottom tier to cut for pictures.  The other tiers can be made of Styrofoam (really!) and decorated to match the real cake tiers, but for a lot less money.  

Sheet cakes are also much easier to cut for serving.  I'd suggest making sheet cakes, using the Bonnie Butter Cake recipe, the wacky cake recipe, or a mayonnaise cake (chocolate), and a great frosting that's not too sweet, using Dream Whip (Recipes given in Part 2).  A small flower with a leaf or two could be piped on each serving of the sheet cakes. 

Save even more by making the groom's cake, using the delicious wacky cake recipe and chocolate frosting.  For chocolate frosting, simply add cocoa to the fluffy frosting recipe.  

A friend told me how her daughter had seven different kinds of cakes, each one on a Lucite (clear plastic) riser with twinkle lights under the cakes.  If you didn't want to rent the risers, you could ask friends to loan elevated glass cake plates.  It wouldn't matter that they don't all match because everyone will have their eyes on the cakes, trying to decide what kind they'd like to sink their teeth into!  Would you like carrot, white, chocolate, butter cream, lemon, raspberry or strawberry?

Tie a pretty white or colored bow on a nice cake knife and server.  There's no need to buy one special for the reception.

CANDLES

We had a candle in memory of some grandparents, who were with the Lord.  I bought a pillar candle to match the wedding color to be set in the middle of a fresh flower candle ring. 

You can purchase your own white candles if you do the unity candle, using three candles in the ceremony, and there's no need for fragrance.  

To dress up a candle, you can simply wrap ribbon an inch from the top and bottom of pillar candles in the wedding color for a lovely decoration.  Bump it up a notch by adding short pearl pins or wedding decorations found at a craft store.  

Sheer ribbon is elegant when crisscrossed on a candle and secured by pearl pins.  Check craft stores or the library for more unique ideas.

It's a good idea to have all candles in some type of enclosed container.  Some candles are made very cheap and when the wax starts melting, it goes everywhere.  A lipped or enclosed container is best. 

CEREMONY

Read other wedding programs for ideas.  The Working Wedding Program, included in the second edition of this Wedding Newsletter will give you some ideas.  If your children are still young, start saving all the programs from weddings you attend for ideas down the road.

COUNSELING - PREMARITAL

Premarital counseling from a Christian viewpoint is so important.  Big problems can be caught and remedied before the marriage, rather than later.  There are also many good books to read in preparation for marriage.

One bride thought premarital counseling is good but said there is so much that needs to be learned about each other before you get to that point.  A great book that helped get her and her sweetheart talking on different important issues was 101 Questions to Ask Before You get Engaged by Norman Wright.   This bride also read a few marriage/relationship type books starting very early in their dating relationship.  The main books that have helped her are the following: What a Husband Needs from His Wife by Melanie Chitwood Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti by Bill and Pam Farrell Captivating by John and Staci Eldredge Wild at Heart by John Eldredge The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian Other books recommended are the following: Preparing for Marriage by Dennis Rainey Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs Love Life by Ed Wheat Intended for Pleasure by Ed Wheat Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas Hidden Keys of a Loving, Lasting Marriage by Gary Smalley

COUPONS AND SALES
Use coupons from Michael's, Hobby Lobby, Joann Fabric and A. C. Moore for silk flowers, silk rose petals, candles, confetti, bubbles, blank cards for invitations, etc.  You can go Online to find coupons.  Double your savings and use a coupon on a sale item, if possible.  Have eagle eyes in looking for sales.  You should be able to get everything on sale if you plan ahead.  


The Dollar Tree carries blue garters for a dollar, if you choose to use one.  Gifts for bridal shower games can be found there or at a craft store for great prices.  Keep in mind that using the word, "wedding" sometimes increases the cost of an item.   Some brides have found paper plates, napkins and plastic ware in their colors at office supply stores for as much as 75% off.

DECORATIONS - WEDDING AND RECEPTION

Check Online or at the public library for books on table decorations or wedding decorations.  Simple, but elegant table decorations can be made for a fraction of the cost of having it done by a florist.  Buy silk flowers at a crafts store, cut them apart and arrange them in floral foam, fastened down in a pretty bowl.  See Part 2 for instructions.

Mirrors on the tables for centerpieces add extra sparkle, with a glowing candle set on top and rose petals sprinkled around on the table.  You may also choose to sprinkle fresh, silk or dried rose petals on the table around the centerpiece. 

The beautiful hurricane globe candle centerpieces were included when using the Marriott Hotel for a wedding reception.  

One bride found glassware for decorating at Marshalls where very large vases were only $7. 

Another bride borrowed white tulle from her friend's two daughters' weddings to decorate the outside handrails at the church.

Live plants can be brought from home or borrowed.  Asparagus ferns are beautiful light and airy plants that we used.  Live plants will cut down on the flowers needed.

One subscriber shared how a friend put a queen-size fitted sheet over basketball goal in the gym, put a big live fern in the basketball hoop, and hung white cinderella-type sheer material (probably tulle) around the hoop, under the fern for the bride and groom to stand under to greet guests.  They pulled back the edges of the sheer material and hid them in the live plants!

Instruct those who are cleaning up after the ceremony to be careful of the facility, you may have paid a deposit but your name is what they will remember if damage occurs from carelessness.  Let all candles cool before removing candle wax.  It takes time to clean up melted wax.

DISCOUNTS FOR FAMILIES AND FRIENDS

If a family has two weddings fairly close together, you can often get a discount on almost anything you order twice from a business, if both brides order a gown and/or bridesmaids' dresses, tuxedoes, flowers, decorations, cakes, etc.  Just ask!  It may work for several friends who have weddings close together.

DOUBLE DUTY

When thinking about decorating, consider what can be used in your new home after the wedding.  Garlands from candelabras or tables can be used on shelves, headboards of beds, curtain rods, etc.  You will need to decorate your new home so why not save money in the process.  Chances are your tastes for decorating the wedding and home can be incorporated, saving lots of money and waste.  Choose candle holders that you can use in your new home or consider giving these items as gifts to those who help with the wedding.  

There will be a great number of people you would like to give thank you gifts to so try to incorporate that into the decorating somehow.  For example, one rehearsal dinner had a simple candle centerpiece that was going to be reused at a siblings wedding, but at each place setting were lovely glass mementos etched with 'faith, hope, love' all over them.  Those who had a role in the rehearsal dinner received one when they left.

Centerpieces can serve double duty as gifts for people you want to thank for helping at your wedding.  In one wedding small azalea bushes were used as centerpieces.  They were placed inside wooden boxes that a friend crafted from wood to look like white picket fences.  They were so pretty on the tables and made very special and personal gifts to the many people who had so graciously helped with everything from setup to cleanup.

Several brides might plan to use silk ivy at each of their weddings and split the cost.  They might all choose the same crystal vases or hurricane lanterns for centerpieces, and change them just a bit.  Then after the weddings are over, they could divide them up and use them in their homes or sell them on e-bay or Craigs List.  

Using a hotel that offers beautiful centerpieces, linen tablecloths and napkins, beautiful dishes and silver, a punch fountain, great food, serving of the food, setup, cleanup, etc. is certainly double duty plus, and might be a good decision if the price is reasonable.

If you have more than one wedding coming up in a family, you can use a lot of the same items, such as mirrors, crystal vases, votive candle holders, silk flowers and greenery, a rose arbor, tulle, pew decorations (if white or ivory), chocolate fountain, cake knife and server, guest book pen and pen holder. etc.

Another way to give double duty to a gift and thus save money is to provide the bridesmaid’s accessories (earrings, necklaces) as gifts - something they would need for the wedding.  A manicure, pedicure or hair appointment is another double duty gift idea that the girls would love. 

If you have a handyman in your family, and the bride would like a rose arbor to be used during the ceremony and/or reception, he might build a rose arbor to be used in the wedding, which can double as a gift for the bride and groom to enjoy in their own backyard.  Another family might give climbing roses as their gift - after the honeymoon and help with the planting.

Think through what decorations can be used during the wedding, and brought to the reception as soon as the pictures are taken.

At our daughter's wedding, her best friend served as her matron of honor as well as the soloist.

DRESS FOR THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE OR GROOM

This can sometimes be the most difficult part of the wedding for the mother of the bride or groom.  We tend to leave this dreaded detail until the last minute.  I know I did.  Check out clothing departments of local stores, but if nothing special can be found, a catalog from Chadwicks or a similar store might have just the right dress.  

One mother of the groom shared how she borrowed her dress and jacket and wore $8 Cinderella high heels from Wal-Mart.  Her mom borrowed her grandmother of the groom dress and her shoes were only 50 cents at Goodwill when Mondays used to be marked down days, and a gold handbag for $2.50 for the grandmother of the groom was found at a thrift shop!  I'm sure no one knew the difference. 

EMERGENCY BASKET

It helps immensely to have an Emergency Basket!  A small wicker basket lined with chiffon fabric works great.  Fill it with items such as straight pins, safety pins, panty hose, clear nail polish, Ibuprophen, small snacks, Band-Aids, an extra lighter, tape, tacks, breath mints, Tylenol, Tums and a needle and thread.  One mother said, "You never know when something will rip, someone will forget their hose, a headache will come on quickly in the excitement, the bride will need a small snack to get her through the ceremony, someone will need a Band-Aid to prevent a blister from the new wedding shoes, etc.  This was so much less expensive ($$$/time) than having to run to a convenience store at the last minute."

Have high-quality essential oils on hand as well!

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Accept help from family and friends.  Friends will offer to help “any way they can.”  Take them up on it!  How about several guy friends or relatives filling balloons with helium for a balloon release (in lieu of throwing rice) the morning of the wedding?  One bride’s mom asked several of her friends to bring a dozen deviled eggs for the reception buffet. 

Think of those you know who have special skills and don't be afraid to ask them for help with various aspects of your wedding - flowers, cake, music, favors, serving, decorations, baking, cooking, set up, serving food, cutting the cake, clean up, etc. - perhaps even as a second photographer.  Many are glad to share their talents and gifts.  Even the least artistic among us can keep an eye out for sales on needed items.  Many times these folks will be happy to be of service to you for simply the cost of the item (cake or flowers) and they contribute their time as their wedding gift to the happy couple.  

Examples: 

1) A friend arranges the flowers, but the bride's family pays the bill for the flowers at Sam's Club or Kroger.  

2) A friend bakes and decorates the wedding cake, with the bride's family paying for the cost of the ingredients.

Many friends give their time and talents as their gift - photography, cake decorating, helping with the reception, making favors, arranging flowers, making a ring bearer's pillow, etc.  My sister made our gorgeous tiered wedding cake as their gift to us.  

One bride's biggest secret was to accept help when people offer to use their talents for your benefit.  They had friends who were talented and offered to sing, play the organ, set up their flowers, decorate for the reception, and put together the favors.  Her brother took better pictures than their "paid" photographer!   A second "friend" photographer isn't a bad idea.  

If someone does a service for you as a friend for which they would normally get paid, but refuses any payment, make sure you let others know about their service.  This is often how small businesses are built - by word of mouth!   One subscriber said her husband has booked many paid catering events after helping out a friend. 

Communicate with the people who are trying to help you with the details of your wedding.  Hit the deadlines - they are there for a reason.  Chances are, depending on the church, the person you are dealing with is primarily a volunteer, or if a fee is attached, it doesn't really cover all the hours they are putting into your wedding.  They do the work as a ministry more than anything, so show consideration to their time.

FAVORS

Pastel M&M's in little sewn lace bags, tied with ribbon make very nice favors.  I found lace by the yard in the perfect color at 75 cents a yard which were sewn into small rectangular bags and tied with narrow ribbons.  Matching flowers were hot glued onto a large basket already in our home and used to pass out the favors to the guests.  For another family wedding, dark chocolate M&M's from Costco at a good price were used.  I placed them on a circle of burgundy tulle and tied them with white ribbon.  Tying the ribbons was a little time consuming, but after a few evenings of listening to CD's, they were very nice favors at a low cost.

Packages of wedding bubbles can be bought at the Dollar Tree (12 for $1).  Tying a narrow ribbon around the top and hot gluing a tiny flower on the front makes a lovely favor.

One mother of the bride did an adorable cookie display.  She asked the bridal party to name their favorite cookie.  Then six dozen of each kind of cookie was baked, placed in clear glass cookie jars with the recipes typed out as the labels.  The bottom of each jar was decorated with paper in the wedding colors – tiffany blue and silver.  They bought small silver tongs especially made for petit fours and tied white ribbon to the handles.  They also bought small white cookie bags and a rubber stamp from Michael’s that said, “And they lived happily ever after.” One of the bride's coworkers manned the cookie bar, and the cookies become the take-home favors.   There were preacher cookies, wedding cookies, chocolate chip, peanut butter, etc. and they were placed to represent each person in the wedding party.  The bags were ordered at a place called Papermart.  

Here is the link to the product:  http://www.papermart.com/Product%20Pages/Product.aspx?GroupID=3645&SubGroupID=3646#3646

 She thinks she ordered 200 bags for a little over $20.  To see pictures of several ways to display cookies at a wedding, go to http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=wedding+cookie+bar

Another mother of the bride had a candy bar, with all types of candy like candy corn, M&M's, red hots, licorice sticks, and the candy was displayed in glass jars of all sizes and shapes.  the candy represented each member of the bridal party's favorite candy.  See candy displays at http://www.flickr.com/search/?w=all&q=wedding+candy+bar&m=text

Some families planning a wedding have gone on the Oriental Trading Company web site for favors and small decorating items, saying their bulk prices are reasonable. 

FLOWER GIRL

At www.myangelickids.com one bride found flower girls' dresses, beautifully made for less than $50 and a free headpiece or silk flowers comes with a purchase.  You might also look in consignment and second-hand stores for white frilly dresses or make it yourself.

A small used basket can be given new life for the flower girl to carry - with white spray paint.  Wrap the handle with white ribbon and glue the ends.  Wire or glue silk flowers (in white or the wedding color) to the front of the basket.  Line the basket with silk, satin or tulle, and fill it with rose petals.  Our flower girl's basket made it through three weddings and still looks good.  For a different effect, spray paint the basket the color of the bridesmaids' dresses and use complimenting flowers.

If you need rose petals for your flower girl, ask your florist at the grocery store for roses that are wilted so you can dry the petals for in the basket.  You might try Kroger every time you go into the store.  You could also ask friends who grow roses or ask at a local rose garden for their wilted roses.  Craft stores also have silk rose petals in the wedding department and with a coupon, they are quite reasonable.  A flower girl doesn't have to toss rose petals.  She may simply walk down the aisle, smiling, carrying a basket of flowers.  She will still melt everyone's heart!

FLOWERS

Brides who get married during a time when they know the church will already be decorated beautifully with flowers for Christmas have it made!  One bride was married while the front of the church was decorated abundantly with Stargazer lilies for Mother's Day.  It was breathtakingly beautiful as well!  Of course, if you know flowers will be provided by the church, be sure your wedding colors will blend well with them.

Many brides elect to use silk flowers in place of real flowers.  This is much more economical, but some brides want the real thing.  If you use greenery in abundance you can stretch your budget and make fewer blooms look richer.  

We ordered flowers for the wedding through a florist friend who gave us a discount, but I've been told that Kroger does a great job as well.  We ordered flowers to be placed on the several tiers of wedding cake as well.  

One bride's wedding flowers are coming from Fresh Market where they have large roses for $8.99/dozen, and spray roses, which are very pretty open or as buds, for $6.99 for ten stems, with many blooms on each stem.  A friend is wrapping them with ribbon to carry.  

One bride said the best advice she had was something she did herself.  She went to the local craft store and bought three bouquets of dried wildflowers for under $10.  Then she divided them up into four smaller bouquets and tied them with some ribbon for her bridesmaids' flowers.  She received lots of compliments on them from many people and her bridesmaids were able to keep the flowers for decorations in their own homes if they wished.

If your area has a Center for Technology, they most likely have a course for students in flower arranging and would do flower arrangements, bouquets, and corsages for the cost of flowers and materials.  You could take your own vases.  It is worth a phone call to see if they would do it and if other school systems have similar programs as well.

Pick a favorite flower and buy in bulk.  Check grocery stores.  They have wonderful fresh flowers in some of the larger markets.  Don't forget your local farmer's market too.  If you don't see what you want, ask if they can order it for you.  For simple hand-tied bouquets, look online for how-to's, and practice, practice, practice.  For the tables, how about a simple floating arrangement.  Float flower heads in glass bowls filled with water.  Floating candles in glass bowls are also beautiful and you can even use a little food color to dye the water if using candles.   I wouldn't try that with the flowers, since it might change the color of the flowers.  Of course, you could try it beforehand and find out. 

GUEST BOOK

I made a heart-shaped pen holder to use with the guest book with a pretty pen given to me by a friend.  The pen holder was made with a cornstarch recipe (Directions in Part 2).  Using the computer you could even make your own guest book, adding rubber stamp wedding and flower designs.  If you or a friend has a Cricut, cut out wedding designs to embellish the pages.

Making a pretty table scarf for the guest book table in the wedding color or white would add a special touch.  Machine embroidery designs sewn on (heart, bride and groom, or a scripture verse) would make it even more special.

HAIR

Fix your own hair or accept the help of a friend or beautician.  So many brides wear their hair up in a fancy hairdo on their wedding day, when they look better with it down and curled, in a style they are capable of doing well themselves.

HONEYMOON

Rather than going to another country, some exotic island, or traveling too far after such an emotionally taxing day, some couples decide to spend their first night in their new home and leave for their honeymoon the next day.  Choosing to honeymoon not too far from home is a wise decision, leaving more dollars to invest in your home and marriage.  Going to the beach or the mountains would be a less expensive choice, yet very enjoyable.  After staying in a hotel an hour from home, we went to Schroon Lake in the Adirondack Mountains (Word of Life Inn) for a week and stopped at other sights on the way home, stretching it out to ten days.

HOUSING FOR OUT-OF-TOWN GUESTS 

If you are having guests from out of town, block hotel rooms at a lower rate for your guests to make their own arrangements.  Many brides include names and contact information with the wedding invitation, letting guests know that rooms have been blocked for their convenience at a lower cost.  It is important for the bride's family to go and check out the hotels first to be sure they are up to par. 

For a better price, opt for something a short distance off a major interstate, as opposed to those very close by.  One bride's family got rates of $109 per night for a two-room suite (a separate private bedroom) with a fully equipped kitchen and a complimentary full hot breakfast buffet at Residence Marriott off the interstate (regularly over $250 per night), as opposed to a rate of $159 per night for a regular standard room right off the interstate at the Fairfield Marriott which was nowhere near as nice as the Residence.  Other room accommodations blocked were a two room suite at the Residence Marriott, two very large rooms with same accommodations (not a separate private bedroom), and the same breakfast deal for $99.  Your guests will be happy to drive the extra ten minutes or so to save on their accommodations, plus get a free breakfast!

INVITATIONS

I have seen beautiful announcements, invitations, and programs done on a personal computer.  This is so much less expensive than engraved or printed professional ones.  With all the available papers and fonts on computers, this is only limited by your imagination.  You can save a lot and have an original by doing your own invitations, either with kits from the craft stores (purchased with 40 to 50% off coupons, of course) or by designing your own and printing on specialty paper from an office supply store.  A ribbon idea that we used on our wedding programs, but would be perfect on invitations as well, is explained in Part 2.

One bride got her invitations from A.C. Moore, using coupons from the Sunday paper for 40-50% off on a single item, which ended up being $8.00 per box for 50 invitations, envelopes, response cards/envelopes!  These are the type you print yourself.  Save the date magnet cards from Vista Print - we got 150 for $17.  

If you know anyone that has beautiful handwriting, or can do calligraphy, see if they'd be willing to address your invitations.  

MEMORY BOARD

My daughter's aunt gave the "favorite gift" they received - a "Memory Board."  She brought a nice heavy board (about 2'x3'), heavier than poster board, and a picture frame, as she and her family flew across the country to the wedding.  At the reception she asked each guest to write a brief message to the bride and groom and sign it with the pens provided.  After the wedding, she filled in all the empty spaces with rubber stamped designs, sayings, and fun stuff, then colored them in with colored pencils.  What a special and memorable wedding gift!   

One family did a really nice "decoration" for the bride and groom that is still kept in their home.  It was a poster board that had head shots of the bride and groom at similar ages (3 years, 5 years, 11 years, etc.).  Around the photos were quotes, remembered moments from their parents, and well wishes from wedding guests.

LOCATION

Our one son and his bride had friends offer their log cabin for their small wedding and reception.  The beautiful bride descended from the stairs rather than walking down a long aisle.  These same friends served all the food made by the bride.  

Rules and guidelines are put in place to protect you and the facility.  You can ask for an exception but be prepared for a "No."  If you can not accept the "No," maybe you should consider another facility. 

Other than a church setting, you may want to have an outdoor wedding by a lake or in a park, but reservations are necessary unless you want to take a big chance of being asked to leave.  Most people would rather not have their wedding day spoiled in that way.  If it does rain, Plan "B" needs to be available for the sake of the wedding party and guests.

MENS' ATTIRE

You may want to opt for purchasing suits for the guys rather than renting tuxes, which one bride found to be well over $100 to rent.  One mother said her son was in a wedding and purchased a two piece suit online as instructed by the groom for less than $100, and he has it to wear again and again.  That's better than throwing away $100+ to give it back after wearing it for a few hours.  A nice suit with ties to match the bridesmaids' dresses works very well.  

MUSIC

For our one son's wedding, his bride's father, who has musical talent, sang a beautiful solo as the bride and groom lit the unity candle. Then before the processional, about a dozen of his family members sang, "The Lord Bless Thee and Keep Thee" from the balcony in acappella harmony.  It was absolutely beautiful!

Rather than hiring professional soloists, bands, musicians, ask friends and family members to perform in the wedding.  Even though a small stipend may be given, it will still be much less than hiring professionals, and using family and friends makes the day even more special.

Use recorded music for your reception instead of hiring a band, DJ, or musicians, unless you have friends who offer to play.  CD's of wedding music can be borrowed from the library as well.

NAPKINS

Some brides use decorated napkins along with less expensive plain napkins, or have all plain napkins.  One bride opted not to have personalized napkins, but instead went to Captain Party and found napkins very reasonably priced for her wedding colors of red and black and ivory.  Buy other paper and plastic products while on sale or at a dollar store or office supply store.

PICTURE DISPLAY OR POWER POINT

Many wedding receptions include a display of pictures of the bride and groom from infancy to their wedding day, along with their family members.  If displaying pictures on a table the larger pictures look best in frames.  This special touch adds a lot to any reception.

PHOTOGRAPHY

The summer before our wedding I worked at a bridal shoppe, and was given a discount on our wedding pictures.  It never hurts though to have others take pictures, just in case the photographer's pictures don't turn out as you had hoped. 

Make a list of all the pictures you would like.  Looking at friends' wedding pictures will give you new ideas.  Divide them up into three categories: before, during and after the wedding.  One of my favorite wedding pictures is of my dad shaking hands with my husband-to-be just before the wedding.  Their grins spoke volumes as if Daddy were saying, "She's all yours," -- and John didn't seem to mind.  Another favorite picture is of my mom and dad on either side of me, each kissing one of my cheeks.  

Some brides and grooms choose to have wedding pictures taken around town in interesting settings together before the wedding, although for most couples, they like the idea of the groom seeing his bride for the first time that day, as she walks down the aisle to meet him at the front of the church.  

One Heart to Heart mom said they got digital camera shots of their one child's wedding enlarged to 16 x 20" at Sam's Club for $17, but it took a month to arrive in 2005.  But in 2008 a digital camera shot was enlarged to 16 x 20" at Sam's Club for another child's wedding for $6.54 and that took only 30 minutes. Both are hanging in her home today instead of photographer prints.

PROGRAMS

For the contents of the wedding program, you would list the music selections in the prelude, ceremony, and postlude.  The order of the ceremony and the wedding party are usually listed.  You may want to tell where each attendant is from, as well as the relationship to the bride and groom.  Musicians may also be listed. 

For our wedding program, we had the lyrics I wrote to a hymn included on the back.  It was Our Wedding Prayer, sung to the tune of the hymn, Oh, Jesus, I Have Promised, which was sung while we were kneeling at the altar (See Part 2 for the words). 

A personal message from the bride and groom is always nice at the very end, thanking everyone for sharing in your blessed day with you, and giving your new address.  Our wedding programs were printed on blank church bulletins with a picture of candles, a wedding bouquet and a Bible on the front, with a blue background to match the bridesmaids' dresses.

We made the programs for our own wedding as well as two of our three children's weddings and were very pleased with them.  Choose from the many beautiful fonts on your computer and design the invitations, using the information given by the bride.  Ask which fonts the bride and groom prefer and e-mail the program to them until you have it just right.  Buy paper stock on sale at an office supply store and print them off, or see if the cost would be less to have an office supply store print them for you on their own paper.  

We punched two holes at the top of our printed programs and inserted ribbon (See Part 2 for instructions).  They were beautiful!  For a very small family wedding, we did the same thing, but I also hand embossed a flower on each program, which was a lovely personal touch.

PUNCH
Simple punch recipes are money saving as well as time and stress saving.  One family's favorite is most any flavor (color) of softened sherbet with Sprite or 7-Up.  (Proportions are one half gallon sherbet to two 2-liters of soda.)  Or try frozen lemonade concentrate (regular, pink, raspberry, or other flavor) made according to package directions plus a 2-liter of Sprite or 7-Up.  Both of these recipes are light and refreshing and very little fuss and expense.

Skip the elaborate recipes that require making and freezing, then thawing and mixing.  An added benefit of these simple recipes is that, while it is very hard to plan perfectly how much punch you will actually need, these ingredients can be easily stored and used later, should you overbuy.  Or (and many have had to do this) they can be found at any supermarket or grocery store in case you have to send someone out to buy more!  

We used a mixture of 2 (2-liter) bottles of Sprite, 1 gallon water and 1 large packet of sweetened peach Kool Aid which was very refreshing, and it worked well for a punch fountain (no pulp).  Marriott allowed us to bring our own punch ingredients which saved us a bundle.  They also offered to mix it up as needed, which was so helpful.  Bring more than you think you will need, so you don't run out.  It takes at least two full days to completely chill 2-liter bottles of soda for the punch, so make sure you refrigerate it in advance.

Always provide ice water for those who would rather not have a sugary drink.

REGISTER

Register as early as possible, since it takes a lot of time.  The couple might talk first about what colors they'd like in their home because those decisions come into play when registering.  

For those giving gifts, don't let the bridal registry intimidate you.  Gifts other than those on the list will be happily accepted.  In fact, they will most likely be a pleasant surprise.  I find that handmade gifts, done well, are especially appreciated.

RECEPTION  FOOD 
Some of these ideas could be used for the bridal shower and rehearsal dinner as well.

If you have a reception where you need linens, rather than renting, you would be wise to look into purchasing the linens.  To rent a 90" tablecloth you might pay $13 each, and of course, you have to return it.  To purchase a 90" table cover Online, it is $4.50 to $8 each depending on the style, and you get to keep them for future weddings or special events. The same goes for linen napkins and chair bows or covers.  They are much less by more than half to purchase than to rent. 

Our daughter chose the Marriott Hotel for their wedding reception.  With the wedding and reception being an hour from our home, it simplified a lot of details for us.  We didn't need to be concerned about the centerpieces, cloth tablecloths for the round tables which seated ten, cloth napkins, beautiful dishes, silverware, punch fountain, facility rental, serving of food, and food were all supplied by the hotel in the reception package, saving us lots of last minute scurrying around.  There was a gorgeous spread of food in vibrant colors which we had chosen, and they arranged it all so nicely, setting some food on risers.  

We were told ahead of time that if an aunt or other relative wanted to contribute additional food, that was fine, so I acted as Aunt Betsy and brought lots of ham biscuits to supplement the food already ordered.  We also saved a bundle by bringing nuts and the ingredients for the punch.  We didn't need to order as much food from the hotel with bringing in some of the food, and it was a beautiful reception and quite reasonable, especially since so much of the rest of the wedding was done with minimal expense, and we were able to stay under our low budget.

Our one son and his bride had several soups served at their reception, along with homemade bread, and a variety of cheeses, crackers, fruits, vegetables and a chocolate fountain.  They had so many compliments on their reception.  The soup was bought at Costco and all the bread was homemade by a friend of our son's.  Everyone just loved that menu for their frigid January wedding.

Our other son and his bride had a very small wedding, choosing to reserve more finances for their new home.  The bride made all the reception food ahead of time, and it was all delicious and even healthy!

Some other foods seen at wedding receptions: finger sandwiches (cucumber, pimento cheese, chicken salad, ham), mixed nuts, homemade cream cheese mints, stuffed mushrooms, mini-quiches, mini-eggrolls, meatballs, vegetable trays, dips, cheese spreads, cheese balls, cheese trays, and Oreo Truffles (Recipe in Part 2). 

Today, in the age of Sam's Club and Costco, there are even more options available, or you could make your own foods and freeze them ahead for the reception.  These freeze very well: homemade cream cheese mints, mini-quiches, mini-eggrolls, meatballs, cheese balls.

If your area has a Center for Technology, they most likely have courses for students aspiring to be chefs and they prepare foods (mostly vegetable trays with dip, cheese balls, etc.) for only the cost of the ingredients.  Their work is supervised by the instructors and is usually quite good.   It would be worth a phone call to check and find out.

One subscriber said she had never been to a professionally catered wedding because all the friends and family of the bride and groom would get together and contribute their skill as a wedding gift.  There was always a baker in the group that would bake and decorate the cake.  Her husband has a BBQ catering business, so their kids have already asked for their father to do a full BBQ when they get married.  That's right - BBQ pork, baked beans, cole slaw, potato salad, rolls.  She thinks that would be a perfect autumn idea.  Give everyone time to change into more casual clothing and meet in someone's backyard.  Have hay bales for seats, perhaps a bonfire (remember to get the proper permits), and hire teenagers to help serve and cleanup.  

One bride needed servers for her reception so they contacted the youth group in their church, who were going on a 'Teen Missions Outreach" during the summer.  They asked them if they would be interested in serving during the dinner/reception and in return, they would make a donation toward the trip if everyone participated, or they could do individual donations if only a few could help.  If they did not receive enough help, they planned to expand it to the seniors who would be going on a missions trip later.  What a super idea!

REHEARSAL DINNER

For our one son's rehearsal dinner, I made some of the food ahead and we cooked all during that day.  Although it was a lot of work for a group of over fifty, with traveling two hours up the road that morning and evening, we saved a lot of expense and it turned out to be a very good meal.   Check Part 2 for the details.

RENTALS

Before you rent something, ask around.  Often churches have wedding items that you may use, or friend may have the item and let you borrow it.  

RING BEARER

Pillows are easy to make.  For a super elegant basket-woven ring bearer's pillow, see the instructions in Part 2.

 
SHOWER

If you have a winter shower, you'll save money by using Christmas decorations you already have to decorate.  

WEDDING GOWNS

For my own wedding and those of our three children, I did as much of the sewing and crafting as I was able to do.  Not only did it save us lots of money, but it was enjoyable as long as I wasn't rushed.  Long before our wedding, I saw a wedding gown in the Brides Magazine that I really loved - with lace insets on the sides of the skirt with lace rosettes framing the inserts.  I made a pattern, with some changes, then sewed my wedding gown including a long lace train - all for $25.  Of course, that was forty-one years ago!   I used leftover fabric and pearls to make my headpiece, but the veil fabric back then was the most expensive part of the entire veil ($18)!  Today tulle is available and much less expensive.

For the bridal gown, less is more.  Many of the bridal gowns in the stores now are simply long satin dresses.  A simple classic style can be custom made.  Consider making the bridal gown, using sale fabric from a fabric store with a selection of bridal and formal fabric for tremendous savings.  Or check out the secondhand stores and clearance sales.  Just remember saving money often takes time, so start searching sooner than later.   If you find the selection of wedding gowns to be only strapless, but would prefer sleeves, tulle capped sleeves can be added, if you wish.  Of course, if it is custom made, you have more of a choice.

Many young married women have their beautiful wedding gowns cleaned, packed up, and ready to sell.  After their wedding, some brides have tried to sell gorgeous wedding gowns at yard sales for just $25, but no buyers were found.  So why not ask some married women you know, who are your size, if they have a wedding gown they might like to sell?  If you like it and it fits or can be altered, you've got yourself a beautiful bargain!

Of course, a bride can wear her mother or grandmother's wedding gown for huge savings and add to the special memories of the day.  One bride who is a seamstress reworked her mother's wedding gown, and it turned out just gorgeous.

One woman who shops secondhand stores has seen beautiful wedding gowns for a mere fraction of the cost of one in a bridal shop.  If you go to a bridal shop, determine the amount you are willing to spend beforehand.  They usually have a clearance rack with the gowns from last season.

Ebay offers some great money-saving opportunities.  A subscriber knows one bride who found a designer gown for a fraction of the cost on ebay.  It had never been worn.   

One bride bought a very expensive gown (retailing for $1,400) for $200, but since she could sew, she was able to transform the  "V" cut in the front and back to be more modest, using exquisite lace.  Since the lace she found was at the end of the bolt, she got a rock bottom price for that as well.  She designed her own sleeves and added pearls to hide the seams for a spectacular end result!

Thanks to the following "Heart to Heart" contributors for these money-saving wedding tips!   Without them, I could not have compiled such a list of unique and practical tips!  I appreciate each one of you!

Betty Lemon, Wedding Coordinator at Blue Ridge Bible Church (1999-2006), Kansas City, Missouri
Nancy Pfeifer, Wedding Coordinator at Blue Ridge Bible Church, Kansas City, Missouri
Margie,who is a storehouse of knowledge on weddings, Missouri

Samantha Feist, North Carolina

Rachael Breneman, Ohio

Darcy Carmichael, Michigan

Cheryl Fischer, Virginia

Melisa Edens, Maryland

Rhonda Creger, Virginia

Diana Metz, Indiana 

Susan Beverly, Virginia
Bev Barnett, Illinois

Pamela Shup, Virginia

 

  Many Heart to Heart ladies and their families need our prayers,

                      so please remember to pray for each Heart to Heart lady as you receive your newsletter.

                                      God bless you and your family and keep you in His loving care!

                                                And remember, I love to hear from you dear ladies!

                                                                   Your Heart to Heart friend,

                                                                                         Lois

                

 

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