HEART TO HEART NEWSLETTER
ENCOURAGEMENT TO WOMEN
ENCOURAGEMENT TO WOMEN
http://heartfilledhome.blogspot.com
A categorized storehouse of information for you from past newsletters
A categorized storehouse of information for you from past newsletters
Compiled especially for you with love by Lois Breneman
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3/1/11 Heart, Hope, Health, Money-Saving Tips, Marriage, Fun, Humor
3/1/11 Heart, Hope, Health, Money-Saving Tips, Marriage, Fun, Humor
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IN THIS ISSUE:
FORGOTTEN POCKETBOOKS, BROKEN DRYERS AND AFFAIRS OF THE HEART
HOPE FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EVER LOST A CHILD, GRANDCHILD, OR LOVED ONE
NATURAL WAYS TO BUILD UP THE IMMUNE SYSTEM
MONEY-SAVING TIPS
BEATITUDES FOR MARRIED COUPLES
BEATITUDES FOR MARRIED COUPLES
PASTORAL CANDIDATES
WHICH HOUSE DO YOU LIVE IN?
FUN ACTIVITIES WITH SMALL CHILDREN WHICH HOUSE DO YOU LIVE IN?
Two Little Dickie Birds
Floating Bathtub Boats
PRECIOUS GEMSFloating Bathtub Boats
CHILDREN ARE QUICK
FORGOTTEN POCKETBOOKS, BROKEN DRYERS AND AFFAIRS OF THE HEART
by Betty, a friend in Virginia, who gave me permission to include this article in "Heart to Heart." Betty told me, " It it helps someone else in their walk with the Lord, then to Him be the praise. My prayer is that others would find peace and contentment in the Person of Christ."
If you have seen my status updates over the last week, you may have noticed a trend relating to Trials. I have always been one that can pretty well accept the big, out-of-control trials such as the tragic ordeal Mom endured as she was physically and mentally violated, or the death of a loved one. But for all of my life, I have struggled with the little, ankle-biting, day-to-day trials that are sent my way. Give me the Rottweiler, just don't sic the Chihuahua on me! In the last week, my daughter caught the flu; my back decided to “go out” (and not take me with it!); my son's truck broke down requiring many, many dollars to fix; the dryer quit; I worked on our taxes only to learn that we will have to pay thousands (yes, there is an “s” on that!) more on April 18th; in the midst of all of this, we moved my mother-in-law from the retirement community she had been living in for the last year back into her own house. When I opened my email this morning, there was a message from my husband telling me that he found my pocketbook in the van when he got to work this morning. I will be without it all day. (Ladies, I know you understand how lost you feel when you don’t have your purse!)
by Betty, a friend in Virginia, who gave me permission to include this article in "Heart to Heart." Betty told me, " It it helps someone else in their walk with the Lord, then to Him be the praise. My prayer is that others would find peace and contentment in the Person of Christ."
If you have seen my status updates over the last week, you may have noticed a trend relating to Trials. I have always been one that can pretty well accept the big, out-of-control trials such as the tragic ordeal Mom endured as she was physically and mentally violated, or the death of a loved one. But for all of my life, I have struggled with the little, ankle-biting, day-to-day trials that are sent my way. Give me the Rottweiler, just don't sic the Chihuahua on me! In the last week, my daughter caught the flu; my back decided to “go out” (and not take me with it!); my son's truck broke down requiring many, many dollars to fix; the dryer quit; I worked on our taxes only to learn that we will have to pay thousands (yes, there is an “s” on that!) more on April 18th; in the midst of all of this, we moved my mother-in-law from the retirement community she had been living in for the last year back into her own house. When I opened my email this morning, there was a message from my husband telling me that he found my pocketbook in the van when he got to work this morning. I will be without it all day. (Ladies, I know you understand how lost you feel when you don’t have your purse!)
I could be very tempted to be discouraged by this list of difficulties/annoyances/irritations or whatever you want to call them. However, last night I was reminded in a book that I am reading that “Contentment is a state of the heart, not a state of affairs.” I have to ask myself, will I choose to dwell on all the blessings that God has so richly poured out on me? Do I really believe that He is working out all things for my good and His glory? Are His mercies never ceasing? Will I trust Him in the day-to-day difficulties?
I have to say a resounding “Yes”!!! Not because I am able to do this in my own strength - I have none. I am puny, negative and prone to grumbling. But in Philippians 4, Paul talks about “learning” to be content. It doesn’t come naturally; it has to be learned. So how do I “learn” to be content? Obviously, I will not learn much if everything is going smoothly. The trials that are sent from my loving Heavenly Father are designed to teach me contentment. Paul follows up his statement about learning to be content with a verse that we often take out of context. When read in context, what an encouragement it is - “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” In His strength, I CAN be content despite a forgotten pocketbook or a broken dryer.
Practically, what does that look like? Well, by dwelling on the promises and blessings that have been given me I see how there are new mercies everyday.
- I am making a list of all the blessings of the last week. They far outnumber the difficulties. It is good to have something in writing to look at and remind myself how God has been faithful in the big and small circumstances of my life.
- I am making a list of verses that encourage me to “press on” to the end. Verses like II Cor. 4: 17-18 “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” If I thought this life was all there was, I would be in despair. But it is not! And somehow these trials are preparing me for heaven.
- I am speaking truth to myself rather than listening to the litany of discouraging thoughts that want to take over in my head. In his book, The Cross Centered Life, C.J. Mahaney says, “ On a daily basis we’re faced with two simple choices. We can either listen to ourselves and our constantly changing feelings about our circumstances, or we can talk to ourselves about the unchanging truth of who God is and what He’s accomplished for us at the cross…Is it any wonder we’re so often unhappy? We’re listening to ourselves. We need to start talking to ourselves instead.”
- And finally, I am examining my heart to see where I have been putting my trust. For example as I think about the amount of shekels we will have to give the IRS, I am considering my own attitudes about money. Is my security in having a comfortable emergency fund saved or is my security in the One Who owns the cattle on a thousand hills AND the hills! When I do not respond to trials with the fruit of the Spirit, then I need to see what is going on with my heart. I need to be thankful for the wake-up call on some heart issues.
Today I can truthfully say that I am content with my present circumstances and I am not afraid of what new trials may be in store. When I hear myself say this, I am amazed. This is all of God’s grace - I cannot do it in myself. To Him be the praise!
HOPE FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EVER LOST A CHILD, GRANDCHILD, OR LOVED ONE
Heaven is for Real from the Haven Today radio broadcast
This is an amazing soundtrack that gave me comfort, and even joy, as I thought of the three grandchildren we have waiting for us in heaven. I had tears in my eyes as I listened. I hope you will take the time to listen to this amazing story. You can listen while you check e-mails, but you will probably want to stop and listen more carefully. It's that good!! This was sent to me by a friend, Linda, whose toddler grandson recently died with no warning.
Jesus said we must become like little children to enter the kingdom of heaven. Colotn Burpo, a four year-old boy, lost consciousness on the operating table and caught a glimpse of heaven.
Have you got your ticket for heaven? Please reply to this newsletter for free ticket information!
Jesus said we must become like little children to enter the kingdom of heaven. Colotn Burpo, a four year-old boy, lost consciousness on the operating table and caught a glimpse of heaven.
Have you got your ticket for heaven? Please reply to this newsletter for free ticket information!
NATURAL IMMUNE SUPPORTERS
by Lois Breneman - 2011 - Heart to Heart
So much illness has been going around in recent months - colds, sinus infections, flu, viruses. So what can we do to avoid so much sickness, which spells misery, missed work, missed school, laundry and other housework piling up, and did I say misery? Here are just a few ways I have learned and used:
Drinking barley juice each day (morning works best), because it can keep you awake if taken after about 4:00 in the afternoon. It helps the PH balance in your body. When your body is balanced or more on the alkaline side, one rarely gets sick.
Vinegar (2 tsp.) mixed in a small amount of Welch's grape juice works to build up the immune system, along with cleansing the liver and gall bladder, as well as balancing the PH in your body. It can be premixed and kept in the fridge, and used twice a day (2 tsp. x 2).
Taking Silver Sol, a tasteless liquid, also builds up the immune system. The bottle suggests taking 2 tsp. twice a day, and it does not need to be refrigerated. To find the source, do a search for "Silver Sol - Swanson Health Products."
Cutting out sugar from your diet definitely will build up your immune system and cause less inflammation in your body. Yes, I know! That is difficult until you get into the habit. After you do, sweets will not even tempt you. They will taste sickening sweet to you if you cheat. Several times I have done well, staying completely off of sugar. Right now I am trying again to get to that point. Over Christmas I ate those delicious Swedish ginger cookies that I love (ate more than one or two) and the next morning I had a scratchy throat and extremely achy joints! With the help of oregano oil capsules, mentioned in Meagan DeLong's article two months ago, I was able to prevent a "slight touch" of the winter bug from turning into an irritated throat or a sinus issue.
Eating from 5 to 9 servings of fruits and vegetables each day will also build up your immune system. The brighter in color, the better. Eating an apple every day is a good nutritional habit. Dipping slices in almond butter is a delicious and satisfying snack.
MONEY-SAVING TIPS
Almond Butter ~ For under five dollars you can find a one-pound jar at Trader Joe's, containing only almonds and salt! When I was near a Trader Joe's last month, I stocked up. The expiration date was far enough away that I knew it would all be used up by that time.
Healing Cuts, Burns, and Scrapes in Half the Time ~ ASAP Ultimate Skin Body Care Gel helps promote natural healing in half the normal length of time! A 4 oz. tube is about $12. This product is manufactured using Silver Sol technology and found under Swanson Health Products. This works! Thanks to Carol Miller for telling me about it!
Homemade Laundry Soap ~ If you haven't yet tried making this recipe, now is the time and I'm sure you won't be sorry, when you consider all the money you are saving. You could put your savings toward gas, now that the prices are so high. Look on the blog under "categories" for the recipe if you can't find it in a past newsletter.
Homemade Laundry Soap ~ If you haven't yet tried making this recipe, now is the time and I'm sure you won't be sorry, when you consider all the money you are saving. You could put your savings toward gas, now that the prices are so high. Look on the blog under "categories" for the recipe if you can't find it in a past newsletter.
Big Shirts are comfortable, and are especially nice to wear around the house. Why not check out Goodwill for good cotton shirts in the men's department? For a little over three dollars, you can dress up a man's shirt with a feminine touch, and no one will know the difference. I have found stripped blue and white shirts, and even pink shirts there. I have fun sewing machine embroidered flowers, birds, butterflies or various designs on one side in front - usually opposite the front pocket, after first trying on the shirt and determining exactly where the design would look best. Sometimes I do a smaller design on the back of the shoulder as well. The pockets in those shirts are perfect for carrying a notepad and pen to jot down things that come to your mind as you go about your day. For a short sleeved shirt, I like to turn up the sleeves twice to give it an even more feminine appearance.
Cuts and Stubborn Spots on Clothing can sometimes be covered with an embroidered sewing machine design. A friend whose little girl had cut a small section right in the center of a beautiful dress for her daughter, came to me for help several years ago. The sweet pink corduroy dress already had little embroidered flowers around the skirt, so I sewed three small flowers at various levels on the front, covering the cut with one of the flowers. The mother was so happy with it and proceeded to have two more girls who were able to wear that precious little dress! Recently I added a small embroidered butterfly to a pair of capris with lots of small designs in pink and green, after I was unable to remove a spot. But you are the only ones who will ever know!
Make a Cost Comparison Shopping List so you know who has the lowest costing toilet paper, shampoo, etc. And use coupons for the items you would normally buy.
Bonus Coupons with "No Expiration Date" were clipped recently as I was going through some magazines that were twenty-three years old. Yes, needless to say, they were overlooked when I cleaned out things earlier! Those coupons can be used at our grocery store where coupons of 50 cents or lower are doubled! It's always nice to find hidden dollars!
Babysitter Swapping is a way to save big! Find trusted friends who are also parents of young children with whom you would loan your most treasured possessions for a few hours, while you and your husband go out on a date. Use "Baby Bucks" and babysit for each other in such a way that you can agree.
Save on Preschool ~ Instead of putting your children in preschool, form a playgroup for your preschool children. If you homeschool young children, a playgroup is still a great idea. Find children the same ages as your own (2 or 4 in a group). Three often doesn't work as well, because one is often left out. Moms take turns providing crafts, activities and lunch for the playgroup. No money is exchanged this way, but the children and moms will all be enriched by this experience.
Hard-to-Open Jars ~ Even this is a money-saving tip if it will prevent you from hurting your wrist. Hold the jar lid under the hottest tap water possible for about 30-60 seconds. Then, with a wet dishcloth over the edge of the sink to protect it, tap the side of the jar lid several times on the dishcloth. If the lid still won't open, repeat the process.
BEATITUDES FOR MARRIED COUPLES
Author unknown
Author unknown
Blessed are the husband and wife who continue to be affectionate,
considerate, and loving after the wedding bells have stopped ringing.
Blessed are the husband and wife who are as polite and courteous
to one another as they are to their friends.
Blessed are they who have a sense of humor;
their marriage shall be much brighter.
Blessed are the parents who abstain from alcohol (you could add more),
their children will surely follow their example.
Blessed are they who are faithful to each other and mutually helpful.
God will surely guide them.
God will surely guide them.
Blessed are the husband and wife who thank God for good things which come to them.
They shall receive both good things and thankful children.
They shall receive both good things and thankful children.
Blessed are the parents who recognize their children as gifts from God;
their home shall be filled with love.
their home shall be filled with love.
Blessed are those mates who make their home a place "where seldom is heard a discouraging word."
They shall inspire others to do likewise.
They shall inspire others to do likewise.
Blessed are the parents who attend and support their church.
Their children shall develop a strong faith.
Blessed is the couple who are good stewards of all God's gifts,
their children will bless them and follow their example.
Blessed are all those whose lives are a testimony of faith in God,
they shall be the channels through which God's kingdom will come on earth.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow them all the days of their lives,
and they shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
and they shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
PASTORAL CANDIDATES
Author unknown
The following is a confidential report on several candidates being considered for a pastorate:
ADAM: Good man but problems with his wife.
NOAH: Former pastorate of 120 years with not even one convert. Prone to unrealistic building projects.
JOSEPH: A big thinker, but a braggart, believes in dream-interpreting, and has a prison record.
MOSES: A modest and meek man, but poor communicator, even stuttering at times. Sometimes blows his stack and acts rashly. Some say he left an earlier church over a murder charge.
DAVID: He is an unacceptable moral character.
SOLOMON: Great preacher but our parsonage would never hold all those wives.
ELIJAH: Prone to depression. Collapses under pressure.
HOSEA: A tender and loving pastor but our people could never handle his wife's occupation.
DEBORAH: Strong leader and seems to be anointed, but she is female.
JEREMIAH: Emotionally unstable, alarmist, negative, always lamenting things, reported to have taken a long trip to bury his underwear on the bank of a foreign river.
ISAIAH: On the fringe? Claims to have seen angels in church. Has trouble with his language.
JONAH: Refused God's call into ministry until he was forced to obey by getting swallowed up by a great fish. He told us the fish later spit him out on the shore near here. We hung up.
AMOS: Too backward and unpolished. With some seminary training he might have promise, but has a hang-up against wealthy people - might fit in better in a poor congregation.
JOHN: Says he is a Baptist, but definitely doesn't dress like one. Has slept in the outdoors for months on end, has a weird diet, and provokes denominational leaders.
PETER: Too blue collar. Has a bad temper - even has been known to curse. Had a big run-in with Paul in Antioch. Aggressive, but a loose cannon.
PAUL: Powerful CEO type leader and fascinating preacher. However, short on tact, unforgiving with younger ministers, harsh and has been known to preach all night.
JAMES & JOHN: Package deal preacher and associate seemed good at first, but found out they have an ego problem regarding other fellow workers and seating positions. Threatened an entire town after an insult. Also
known to try to discourage workers who didn't follow along with them.
TIMOTHY: Too young!
METHUSELAH: Too old . . . WAY too old!
JESUS: Has had popular times, but once his church grew to 5,000 he managed to offend them all, and then this church dwindled down to twelve people. Seldom stays in one place very long. And, of course, he's single.
JUDAS: His references are solid. A steady plodder. Conservative. Good connections. Knows how to handle money. We're inviting him to preach this Sunday. Possibilities here.
WHICH HOUSE DO YOU LIVE IN?
- Author unknown
"I got two A's," the small boy cried.
His voice was filled with glee.
His father very bluntly asked,
"Why didn't you get three?"
"Mom. I've got the dishes done!"
The girl called from the door.
Her mother very calmly said,
"And did you sweep the floor?"
"I've mowed the grass," the tall boy said,
"And put the mower away!"
His father asked him, with a shrug.
"Did you clean off the clay?"
The children in the house next door
Seem happy and content.
The same things happened over there,
But this is how it went:
"I got two A's," the small boy cried,
His voice was filled with glee.
His father proudly said, "That's great!
I'm glad you live with me!"
"Mom I've got the dishes done!
The girl called from the door.
Her mother smiled and softly said.
"Each day I love you more."
"I've mowed the grass." the tall boy said.
"And put the mower away!"
His father answered with much joy.
"You've made my happy day!"
Children deserve a little praise
For tasks they're asked to do.
If they're to lead a happy life,
So much depends on you.
So much depends on you.
"The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you love them." - Author unknown
FUN ACTIVITIES WITH SMALL CHILDREN
Great activities for parents to do with children, but these are also good for older children and babysitters to use with little ones! I guarantee young children will beg for babysitters who know how to have fun with them!
Great activities for parents to do with children, but these are also good for older children and babysitters to use with little ones! I guarantee young children will beg for babysitters who know how to have fun with them!
Two Little Dickie Birds
(An action poem to do with young children.
You could draw eyes and a mouth on your index fingers before doing this.)
You could draw eyes and a mouth on your index fingers before doing this.)
Two little Dickie birds sitting on a hill
(Put fists together with two index fingers pointing up)
One named Jack
(Wiggle the first finger of the right hand)
The other named Jill
(Wiggle the first finger of the left hand)
Fly away, Jack!
(Point the right finger over the right shoulder and bring back a
closed fist)
Fly away, Jill!
(Point the left finger over the left shoulder and bring back a closed
fist)
Come back, Jack!
(Point your right fist over the right shoulder and bring back the
right finger)
Come back, Jill!
(Point your left fist over the left shoulder and bring back the left
finger)
Floating Bathtub Boats
You will need:
bottle cap, jar lid, bar of Ivory soap, cork or empty walnut shell
toothpicks
small dab of clay or playdough
crayons
scissors
cloth or paper
1 Draw and color a sail; then cut it out. Put your name or a number on the sail, if you wish.
2 Poke a toothpick through the sail (in one side and back out again to hold the sail up straight).
3 Stick a dab of clay or playdough inside the jar lid or shell (not needed for the soap or cork).
4 Stick the toothpick into the clay, soap or cork and sail away!
Note: When using a cork, push a penny into a slit in the cork for balance. The Ivory soap boat is the easiest. This is a good activity for a swimming pool too, but be sure the toothpicks do not puncture a blown-up pool -- or your young child.
PRECIOUS GEMS
Savannah (3) prayed, "Dear Jesus, I'm sorry I was yellin' at my momma. It made my heart all ugly. Please make it clean. And maybe you could go ahead and do that for tomorrow, because I disobey every . single . day. Amen!" ~ Lauren in Virginia
Savannah (3) prayed, "Dear Jesus, I'm sorry I was yellin' at my momma. It made my heart all ugly. Please make it clean. And maybe you could go ahead and do that for tomorrow, because I disobey every . single . day. Amen!" ~ Lauren in Virginia
I told my son, James (6), to listen to Pastor Mike’s sermon. I encouraged him to just draw what he heard in the sermon. Finally, he starts drawing intently. I proudly asked him what he was drawing. He explained he was drawing a broomstick for the witch! I was deeply concerned as Pastor Mike had NOT mentioned a witch in his sermon! James came back with a firm, “Yes he did, Mom! He said, ‘for which Jesus came to save the lost!’ “ Guess I need to work on homophones!! ~ Kim
My daughter, Juliet (8), was sitting next to my husband in church. Our youth pastor and wife were baptizing their daughter. Juliet asked, “Dad is Pastor Matt a demon?” Dad: “What?! No he’s a pastor!” Juliet: “So he’s not a demon then?” Dad: “You mean deacon? No, he’s a pastor.” Phew! Never a dull moment in the pew with our family! ~ Kim
Savannah (3) has a boy in her class that keeps calling her his girlfriend. Today, at the Valentine's party, she informed him, "I am not your girlfriend. I am my daddy's girl!" ~ Lauren in Virginia
Justin (7) came home from school with this note from a boy in his class who had to write it after taking Justin's pencils. According to Justin the boy took them because he liked Justin's handwriting and thought it was his special pencils. The note read: "To Justin I am sorry for stealing your pensils. I really like them but I am still sorry. Will you forgive me?" The boy had also referred to himself as "stupid, dumb and lame." Justin's written reply: "You are not stuped and dum and lam. Yes, I forgive you." ~ Justin is my grandson ~ Lois
Three-year-old little Jeffrey was standing on a chair so he could help me mix up a cake in the kitchen. This little boy's favorite word was, "Why?" and he asked about a dozen questions as he and I made the cake. After patiently answering all of Jeffrey's questions, and the thirteenth one was just asked, I put my hands on my hips, looked down at my sweet little inquisitive son, and said, "Jeffrey, you're something else!" He then looked up at me with a questioning look, and tipped his head as he asked, "What are I?" ~ Jeff is my son, as well as a great a mechanical engineer, husband and father today. ~ Lois
Anna (3) says, "I wanna be a helper...I can wipe this table and clean my room and make my bed! You don't have to do all this stuff, Mama ... I will." And then she proceeds to sing, "Merry Christmas ... sure feels like Christmas!" ~ Lauren in Virginia
Anna (3) says, "I wanna be a helper...I can wipe this table and clean my room and make my bed! You don't have to do all this stuff, Mama ... I will." And then she proceeds to sing, "Merry Christmas ... sure feels like Christmas!" ~ Lauren in Virginia
A Sweet Lesson in Kindness, Taught by a Four Year Old: My grandsons, Curvie (3) and Larson (4) were playing together at Larson's home last summer. Everything that Larson played with, Curvie would grab out of Larson's hands, and he even punched his older cousin, Larson, in the face, causing him to cry. Just before Christmas Larson's daddy told him that Curvie was coming over for Christmas. Larson said, "Oh, no!" and hung is head, remembering how his younger cousin grabbed his toys and hurt him. One week later Larson came over to Curvie, who was sitting in front of the tree, admiring it, and asked him with a sweet smile, "Would you like to come to the family room and play with my toys? Curvie said, "Yes! I like fire engines!" Larson agreed that he did too, and proceeded to pull out all of his fire engines and give them to Curvie to play with. They played all day long without any squabbles, and Curvie hid under the table when it was time to go home! ~ Carol in Pennsylvania
CHILDREN ARE QUICK
Author unknown – Thanks to Rosanne Ayers in Virginia for sending this!
Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
Class: Maria.
Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!
Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
Millie: I is..
Teacher: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
Millie: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louis: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook.
Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher
Author unknown – Thanks to Rosanne Ayers in Virginia for sending this!
Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
Class: Maria.
Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!
Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
Millie: I is..
Teacher: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
Millie: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louis: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook.
Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher
Teacher: Now, Clyde, your composition is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy your work?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
Please remember to pray for each Heart to Heart lady and her family as you receive your newsletter.
So many ladies are going through very tough times and need our prayers!
Some have lost loved ones and others have lost jobs, homes, or their good health.
Pray each day for the protection of our troops, as well as for their families left at home!
So many ladies are going through very tough times and need our prayers!
Some have lost loved ones and others have lost jobs, homes, or their good health.
Pray each day for the protection of our troops, as well as for their families left at home!
God bless you and your family and keep you in His loving care!
And remember, I love to hear from you dear ladies!
Your Heart to Heart friend,
Lois
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