The Best Marriage Advice

Prayer of Hannah: The best marriage advice given to me...

 

http://prayerofhannah.blogspot.com
by Meagan DeLong - Used by permission

 

While a lot of people struggle the first year of marriage, Mark and I found that having children placed a lot more stress on our marriage than the craziness of our first few years together. I had been waiting my whole life to have a husband to love and serve and joyfully accepted the challenges that marriage threw my way. We were blessed to have a relatively easy and happy first year of marriage. However, once I had a baby, things changed. He was no longer the only person I was taking care of and it just wasn't the same. I was too exhausted to want to fix him a late night snack (with all the accompanying dishes) or attend his evening basketball game and hang out at a restaurant afterwards, or give him a massage at any hour of the night, or all those other fun things we did together when we were first married. We were both excited about the baby and he took it well and was a great help and never complained, but things were definitely not the same. And that is ok; there is no doubt in my mind that our precious children are worth it! But it just means that we have to work a lot harder on our marriage now than we did back then when it was just us.

 

So honestly, the best marriage advice I ever received actually sounds a lot like parenting advice because the two definitely go hand in hand: give the children an early bedtime! On a normal night, we try to have all the kids in bed by 7:00 so that we can have a good three hours to get ourselves organized for the next day and hang out together -- plenty of time to watch a movie together or have a date night or just chat on the couch. Usually Mark gets home sometime between 5:30 and 6:00 and we eat dinner together. Then the girls pick out a game to play with Daddy for about 20-30 minutes and then we start our bedtime routine of potty-time, pajamas, singing, Bible stories, memorizing Scripture, and prayers. And off they go to bed around 7:00. It may sound like they don't get to see him that long at night, but it is very focused, personal, quality time together -- he is not distracted by the TV, computer, cell phone, or anything else and they receive his full attention. They also get to play with him again in the morning between 8 and 9:30 before he goes to work. And he usually spends his day off with them, running my errands, taking them to story time at the library, and playing outside with them. But the evenings are for us to enjoy together.

 

Lest you think we are being too selfish, let me assure you that my girls actually normally sleep from 7pm to at least 7:30am and truly seem to need it. We definitely observe more grumpiness and meltdowns on the days following nights that we allow them to stay up late for one reason or another (grandparents visiting, social activity, etc). They also thrive on a routine and look forward to their Daddy playtime each evening and enjoy our bedtime ritual. On nights when we are out and about before bedtime and don't have time to do our entire routine, it is much harder to get them to bed without fussing and meltdowns. But if we stick to our routine, there is rarely a difficult evening.

 

Now I know that an early bedtime might not work for different families with vastly different work schedules, but my point is really to just make sure that you carve out some regular time with your spouse each day. The advice given to me was to give the children an early bedtime and it has really worked well for our family. But maybe instead of putting the kids to bed early and hanging out you might need to get up a little before them in the morning to have time together or plan regular lunch dates if your kids are up early for school. Feel free to comment and share about how you make time with your husband after having kids!

Mother, Take the Time

by Kelly Crawford  1/2005

http://www.generationcedar.com/main/2012/02/choose-how-you-spend-your-time.html

Thanks to Meagan DeLong in North Carolina for sharing this beautiful poem!

I used to race, I used to hurry, I used to fret and frown and worry.

My children thought they had new names–”Hurry Up” and “We’re Gonna Be Late”!

Even when we were at home–laundry, cleaning, answer the phone…

I never had the extra time to sit and cherish these children of mine.

But in His grace the Lord broke through

And I saw everything anew.

We have but only a few days here, to love and share and pull them near.

And while there’re things that must be done,

Our lives are like the setting sun.

While its light is burning bright, before we face, alone, the night,

Let’s stop the madness of this race–

Let’s take back a slower pace!

Look into those grinning faces,

Plan your day with lots of spaces.

Grab a hand and take a walk, listen while your children talk.

Let them show you childhood things,

Take turns laughing on the swing.

Snuggle up beside the fire, kiss the hurt left by a brier.

Meet them with a morning smile, go out and fish a little while.

Choose carefully how you spend your time.

Don’t wait until you suddenly find

The wrenching grief of a heart that aches

Who loved too little and found out too late.

Birthday Verse Search

This is a great idea from Nina Graff in Wisconsin!  And you don't even need a the Internet for this search, although that would work too!

I have my grandkids search the Bible for their 'birthday verse.'  We go through each book, and look up the reference that matches their month/day, until we find one that is a fun one to learn, or has a special meaning for them.

Example: For a birthday on October 18, we would start in Genesis, and look up 10:18, then move to Exodus, etc....It's a fun thing to do with them, and creates some interesting conversation (and a few laughs).

Note from Lois: I love this idea!!  My birthday verse is Philippians 3:10. "That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being made conformable unto His death."   I think it would be a spectacular idea to find a scripture verse to add to birthday cards that we send to family and friends!

5 Sisters and Memory Quilts

Note from Lois: This is an inspiring story of five sisters continuing to show honor to their mother after her battle with Alzheimer's, and having great fun in the process!

by Donna Wilson in Virginia

My wonderful mother Frances Linville was struck with the dreadful Alzheimer's disease and went through all the stages including constantly repeating herself, being paranoid, and finally just mellowing out. My sister Effie and I live out of town, so the bulk of the caring for Mother fell to my other three sisters and my sister-in-law. After several years of dealing with Alzheimer's, Mother's little body finally wore out and she went to be with her Lord on November 21, 2010.

When we were going through her clothes and deciding what to do with them, Effie (the quilting sister) said we should cut them up and make quilts out of them. So, she took Mother's clothes to her house and made quilting squares out of the ones that would work for a quilt.

We then planned a " Quilting Party Weekend" at my sister Betty's house in Chesapeake. We each picked the squares that meant the most to us, and with a lot of help from my sister Effie, we started piecing them together. Over a period of several months we each had completed most of our quilts, but on all of them, there were still parts needing some machine sewing and hand stitching. My sister Effie said that we should go someplace fun to finish them. She found a farmhouse in Staunton, Virginia, for the weekend of December 2-4. She and I decided to pay for renting it as a gift to show our gratitude to the other sisters who did most of the work caring for Mother while she was going through the trials of Alzheimer's.

All five of the sisters met at the farmhouse on the afternoon of Friday December 2, 2011. We brought food, music, sewing machines, and our unfinished quilts. My sister Effie brought her pumpkin soup for lunch (she is also the cook in the family). We sewed until almost 2 a.m.--talking and sharing stories about our childhood and Mother. We only stopped for dinner. Effie hung stockings on the mantel that she made out of an old 1930's quilt that belonged to Mother. She also decorated a small Christmas tree with ornaments that Mother had made.

On Saturday December 3, we got up early and ate a special breakfast made by Effie.   We sewed a little and then headed to town for shopping.

We started our tour of the town by going to the Visitor Center. A lovely volunteer gave us great suggestions as to where to go while we were staying in historic Staunton (sorry we weren't able to visit them all).

We went to Sunspots Studios where we had our very first glass-blowing experience! As a Christmas gift, my sister Brenda paid for us all to blow our own glass ornament. We loved this place!

We also visited the Cranberry's Grocery & Eatery where we watched as the woman cut handmade frankincense & myrrh scented soaps. She offered to let us cut our own. What a great smell for the holidays!

At Rachel's Quilt Patch we bought trendy yarn to make scarves. The owner was very interesting and has written several Christmas books. We also visited the Staunton Consignment Shop where I bought a lovely antique tablecloth. We bought handmade soaps and other gifts at the Staunton Augusta Art Center.

It was dark when we got back from shopping and having dinner at the historic Depot Grille. We unloaded the car, got comfortably dressed, turned on the Christmas music and started back on our quilts. We didn't get to bed until around midnight, but all of our quilts were mostly finished! The next morning we packed up to get ready to travel home. Effie took pictures of us and our quilts in front of the fireplace, on the front porch of the farmhouse and standing in front of them hanging on the clothes line in the backyard. What fun! Effie set up her tripod and would run to get in the pictures.

After lunch, we said goodbye to the farmhouse and headed to town to pick up the ornaments that we made the day before (they needed time to cool). We also bought many hand-blown ornaments for gifts for family and friends. As a topping for our trip we went for dessert at the Depot Grille. We then went back to our vehicles and hugged and said goodbye and left to go home to Blue Ridge, Chesapeake, Virginia Beach, and Herndon.

We still have one quilt to go for my sister-in-law Thata who moved to the Philippines with our brother Bob after Mother died.  Hopefully, it will be finished as her Christmas gift next year.

This was one of the most enjoyable times of our lives. We are sisters by birth and friends by choice: Betty Greene, Donna Wilson, Marlene Thompson, Effie Shaw, and Brenda Van Dorn.

20 Health Benefits of Tumeric

http://www.healthdiaries.com/eatthis/20-health-benefits-of-turmeric.html

Published on October 1, 2007

The active ingredient in turmeric is curcumin. Tumeric has been used for over 2500 years in India, where it was most likely first used as a dye.  The medicinal properties of this spice have been slowly revealing themselves over the centuries. Long known for its anti-inflammatory properties, recent research has revealed that turmeric is a natural wonder, proving beneficial in the treatment of many different health conditions from cancer to Alzheimer's disease.

Here are 20 reasons to add turmeric to your diet:

1. It is a natural antiseptic and antibacterial agent, useful in disinfecting cuts and burns.

2. When combined with cauliflower, it has shown to prevent prostate cancer and stop the growth of existing prostate cancer.

3. Prevented breast cancer from spreading to the lungs in mice.

4. May prevent melanoma and cause existing melanoma cells to commit suicide.

5. Reduces the risk of childhood leukemia.

6. Is a natural liver detoxifier.

7. May prevent and slow the progression of Alzheimer's disease by removing amyloyd plaque buildup in the brain.

8. May prevent metastases from occurring in many different forms of cancer.

9. It is a potent natural anti-inflammatory that works as well as many anti-inflammatory drugs but without the side effects.

10. Has shown promise in slowing the progression of multiple sclerosis in mice.

11. Is a natural painkiller and cox-2 inhibitor.

12. May aid in fat metabolism and help in weight management. 
13. Has long been used in Chinese medicine as a treatment for depression.

14. Because of its anti-inflammatory properties, it is a natural treatment for arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis.

15. Boosts the effects of chemo drug paclitaxel and reduces its side effects.

16. Promising studies are underway on the effects of turmeric on pancreatic cancer.

17. Studies are ongoing in the positive effects of turmeric on multiple myeloma.

18. Has been shown to stop the growth of new blood vessels in tumors.

19. Speeds up wound healing and assists in remodeling of damaged skin.

20. May help in the treatment of psoriasis and other inflammatory skin conditions.

Turmeric can be taken in powder or pill form. It is available in pill form in most health food stores, usually in 250-500 mg capsules.  Once you start using turmeric on a regular basis, it's fun to find new ways to use it in recipes. My favorite way to use it is to add a pinch of it to egg salad. It adds a nice flavor and gives the egg salad a rich yellow hue.

Contraindications: Turmeric should not be used by people with gallstones or bile obstruction. Though turmeric is often used by pregnant women, it is important to consult with a doctor before doing so as turmeric can be a uterine stimulant.

For a $5 discount on your first order to i-Herb, you may use CODE ENE086 or my e-mail address, jhbreneman@juno.com.

Discount on First I-Herb Order with This Code

Notes from Lois:  Ladies, I have found i-Herb to be a trustworthy company for ordering supplements, specialty foods, and other items.  Here's the link to tumeric which is the NOW brand I use:  http://www.iherb.com/Now-Foods-Turmeric-Bromelain-90-Vcaps/8950?at=0

I also found Nu-Stevia, the brand of natural sweetener that I like the best, at i-herb!  So now rather than paying $25 a canister at a natural foods co-op, I can order it for half that amount and pay no taxes on it - through i-herb!  Plus shipping is free when ordering $20 or more.  You will save even more on orders of $200.  They carry only reputable brands, including Metagenics, all at a discount.  Orders arrive in about three days!

Discount: You will receive an instant $5 off your first order from http://www.iherb.com if you enter CODE ENE086 or my e-mail address, jhbreneman@juno.com. 

Decorating for Tweens

This article was written by Erie Construction. Follow Erie Construction on Twitter for updates on home improvement.

Decorating for tweens can be difficult. They’re between stages, no longer little kids and but not quite ready for a grown-up bedroom. When your kids are ready to ditch their Little Mermaid or Transformers bedspreads and want something “less babyish” it might be time to give their childhood room a makeover. Here are a few tips to make a smooth transition and decorate a room that your tween can grow with (not out of) in the upcoming years.

A good place to start is to ask your child what kind of room they like. Most likely you’ll find that for girls, it won’t change much. Pink, purple, and anything that sparkles is still OK with them. Boys can be harder to work with and tend to be vaguer in their descriptions like, “blue” or “stripes.” To get a better idea of the things they like, go through some home magazines with them and have them clip the pictures they like. Ask them to pay attention to the bedrooms of characters from their favorite TV shows or movies.

 

Starting with new linens and bedding is a smart move. It is much easier to match paint to fabric than fabric to paint. Let them pick out the bedding. This is the best way to compromise. If they pick out the bedding (which is easy to change) then you get to pick out the wall color (which is much more difficult to change). This way even if your daughter decides she wants hot pink sheets, you’ll be able to nix the idea of hot pink walls too and instead choose a more manageable color.

 

Another thing you’ll need to is change the floor plan. If your child doesn’t have a desk in his or her room already, now is the time to get one. Once they’ve reach 7th grade, the homework load increases significantly. Having a quiet place to do their work is imperative. Rearranging the room not only makes room for a desk or a larger bed (if needed), but it gives the impression that it’s an entirely different room-it is no longer a little kid room.

 

Although your tween is ready for a more mature bedroom, chances are they aren’t ready to get rid of their childhood treasures. Stuffed animals, collectibles, or trophies will have a spot in their hearts. Even if they let go of a lot of their toys and treasures, some things they’ll want to hold on to. Consider installing a few high shelves for these items or making room on a bookshelf. This way their cherished possessions will still be visible, but will also be out of the way.

 

Because during these years your child’s style will change, don’t splurge on high priced items that they won’t like in two years. Give the room fun or funky flair with inexpensive items that can easily be parted with. Bean bag chairs, lava lamps and posters are all cheap ways to give the room added character without breaking the bank. Big box stores like Wal-Mart and Target are great places to look for inexpensive accessories.

 

Keep in mind that storage is an important consideration. It’s a good idea to maximize closet space with extra rods or hanging shelves. Under-the-bed storage is a good way to store seasonal clothing, shoes, or hobby supplies. The older your child gets, the more stuff he or she will accumulate, and unless there is adequate storage that stuff will end up on the floor.

Organizing Kids' Rooms

from Cindy - A Reader's Tip from The Dollar Stretcher - www.stretcher.com - Used by permission

Additional Dollar Stretcher Resource: More on organizing kids rooms

I have five kids crammed into two small bedrooms, so I understand crowded rooms! Here are some things that have worked for us.

 

We took our kids' nice clothes (the ones that need to be hung up) out of their rooms and made some space in another closet. Their closets are now filled top to bottom with shelves, which hold toys in handy bins. My organizationally-impaired children just toss stuff into whatever bin, while my tidy kids have things labeled. Either way, it gets stuff off the floor.

 

My kids must pick up their rooms every day!  Everything must be off the floor and their clothes must be put away with drawers shut before they watch TV or whatever. This keeps the mess from accumulating for an entire week and making it an all day project to straighten up. On the days when we really clean the room, we fish out all the stuff that's migrated under their beds, etc.

Finally, we've let our kids have a big part in determining what we do with their rooms, and we've allowed them to find a system that works for them. We realized early on that one of our daughters was never going to become an everything-in-its-place kind of kid. It's just not her personality. Rather than fighting it, we've allowed her to do what she likes as long as a minimum standard is met.

Garden Exchange

from Judi W. - A Reader's Tip from The Dollar Stretcher - www.stretcher.com - Used by permission

I like to garden, but I am short on funds. My solution? Simple! Host a twice annual "plant exchange" where all the people of your community come to a designated area (usually someone's backyard). Everyone then places their names into a hat, and places their "bumper crop plants" in a row. Some will bring seeds, handmade garden stakes, etc. Then when their names are drawn from the hat, they are allowed to go to the row and choose which plants they would like to take home with them that spring or fall. Within the time frame of five years, we have landscaped our own front yard and helped to make many other gardens beautiful as well!

Left Brain - Right Brain

by: Missouri Institute of Natural Science

Thanks to Susan Bradbury in Virginia for sharing this!

The left brain reads: “I am the left brain. I am a scientist. A mathematician. I love the familiar. I categorize. I am accurate. Linear. Analytical. Strategic. I am practical. Always in control. A master of words and language. Realistic. I calculate equations and play with numbers. I am order. I am logic. I know exactly who I am.”

And for the right brain:  “I am the right brain. I am creativity. A free spirit. I am passion. Yearning. Sensuality. I am the sound of roaring laughter. I am taste. The feeling of sand beneath bare feat. I am movement. Vivid colors. I am the urge to paint on an empty canvas. I am boundless imagination. Art. Poetry. I sense. I feel. I am everything I wanted to be.”

Precious Gems

Ladies, thanks for your permission to include your cute kids' quotes in the newsletter.  Anyone is welcome to reply to this newsletter and send kids' quotes to be considered for Heart to Heart.  Thanks!

I had just taken lots of pictures of our six grandchildren, but missed this one, which happened immediately afterward:  Luke (4) comes upstairs crying over something a brother had done to him.  Livy (23 mo.) and Creed (2) come in, one carry the plunger and the other the toilet brush from our bathroom.  Shall we say I grabbed soap real fast.... ~ Janet in Virginia

Sierra (4): "Mom, do you remember when you were a kid?  I remember when I was a kid." ~ Tiffany in Colorado

While shopping at Macy's looking for a rug I saw in an ad...
Me: Oooo... that's a pretty red dress.
Austin (5): Yes, it is... really pretty.
Me: Oooo... I like this one too. I wonder if they have it in my size.
Austin: Remember why we're here, Mommy.
Me: (laughing) I'm a girl!  I like to look at those things.
Austin: You just like to look at all the pretty dresses...
(we walk by the jewelry and before I can even look...)
Austin: ...and the pretty jewelry.
Busted by my five year old! ~ Jennie in Ohio

I was caring for my 4 year-old granddaughter, Bryana one day last week.  On two set days a week, she attends our Mother's Day Out program at our church.  Later that afternoon, when I went to pick her up, her teacher was walking her out and stopped to say a few words to me as Bryana was getting in the car.  She mentioned to me how sweet, clever and adorable she thought that Bryana was and what a joy it was to have her in her class.  She said, "I just gotta tell you what happened today, it was too funny!"  There was another little girl in the same class, who apparently had been having a rough time of things lately at home.  This child had proceeded to tell the teacher and her whole class what things she had been experiencing at home, such as loss of a toy, having to take nap, making Mommy upset, and so on with numerous things that are devastating to a 4 year old, right?  Well, as she was telling all of her woes, the teacher said that Bryana was staring at her intently and really listening to what she had to say.  When the other little child was done, she said Bryana then "broke into song!"  Soon as there was silence, she sang, "So...you had a bad day...." and continued to sing it in full to the other child. LOL.  The teacher mentioned that it was hard for her to keep her own composure, let alone, sit still in her chair without doubling over in laughter. ~ Yana

Anna (4), comes over to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek, so I tell her, "You are so sweet!"  She looks at me and says, "Yes, but sometimes I'm rotten!"  At least she's honest. ~ Stacy in Virginia

My 2-year old nephew's comment after giving Sophie (baby) kisses: "Sophie 'licious!" ~ Lori in Virginia 

Ari (4) informed me that "when you die your hands die folded across your chest." ~ Rebekah in Virginia

Conversation at our supper table as Cydney (2) was telling her daddy about hurting her toe earlier today.  "It's probably dead, but Mommy is fixing it."  Yep, that's me.....the Amazing Christy.....bringing toes back from the dead! ~ Christy in North Carolina 

Savannah: "1+1=2 and 2+2=4, right Mom?" 
Me: "Yes, but how did you know that?"
Savannah: "First of all, I can count.  And I have fingers,  And I'm 4 years old. Duh!" ~ Lauren in Virginia

Brooklyn (23 mo.) has been on some intense antibiotics lately, giving her little bum quite a blistery rash.  Today I asked her if it hurt and she replied, "Naw.  Tough!"  That's my girl! ~ Lauren in Virginia

Mia (3) never ceases to crack me up.  I was in the kitchen cleaning up supper and she comes running in crying, saying that she hit her lip on the wall.  I gave her a kiss and told her we had walls all over the house and to watch out for them.  OOOOOOKKAAYYYY, she said, and ran off to play some more. ~ Elizabeth in Virginia

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This morning while I was getting ready for church...
Boom ((7): Mommy, I really like your dress. It's nice. But if you just do a little something to your face you will look more beautiful.
Me: What do you mean, Boom?
Jojo (11): He meant, he wants you to put make up on.
Boom: Yeah! Like put something on your eyes and lips.
Jojo to Boom: (sternly) She looks perfectly fine!
LOL!!! I love my boys! ~ Darlene in Thailand/ U.S.A.

Thanks to Sarah in Virginia who sent me the following four funny quotes and stories!

Yesterday the kids were watching Veggie Tales and the story was about David. Natalie (4) came in very seriously and said, “Mommy, Veggie Tales said something that’s really not true. They said that little people can’t do things that big people can do. But that’s not true because Jeremiah (6) is bigger than me, but I can do all the things that he can do!” How true that is!!

During school a few mornings ago Jeremiah (6) was saying his AWANA verses to me and I was pleasantly surprised that he knew both of the verses.….On Friday he was still struggling with the word order (John 1:1-3 is a tricky passage). Then he said, “Well I was practicing them last night. I was scared last night and when Papa came upstairs he told me to count sheep. I didn’t like doing that so I just started saying my Bible verses over and over. Then I felt better.”

I told the kids this evening that my bother Lee proposed to miss Ashleigh and that they are getting married. Carlos (10) wanted to know when the wedding was going to be and then he wanted to know if we could go to the wedding and I said, “Yes, we are planning to!” Ben replied, “Yay, yay I love weddings.” And Jeremiah (6) said, “Well you know the horrible part……kissing.”  And to that Carlos said, “That’s not the horrible part, that’s the best part.”

Right after lunch today, Jeremiah (6) went over to Jadyn (7 mo) who was still in the highchair (which sits next to my seat at the table) and he says, “Mommy, I just keep looking at Jadyn and it makes me think…….they gave us just the right baby. I love her.”