Copyright Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN - http://effectiveparenting.org/
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Sometimes badgering is simply an attempt to gain attention and lots of it. Question after question after question. Some children seem to have the strategy down to a science. But parents can be just as determined. One mom tried so hard to resist her son’s badgering that he finally threw his hands up in frustration and said, "Mom, you can be so stubborn!"
Any parent who has a child that badgers feels the unending tension in the relationship. Parents may want to hide, or even look for ways to avoid their son or daughter. Some parents say that they cringe when they see that child coming. These parents feel bad, but the tension in the relationship has become a real irritation.
Sometimes badgering is simply an attempt to gain attention and lots of it. Question after question after question. Some children seem to have the strategy down to a science. But parents can be just as determined. One mom tried so hard to resist her son’s badgering that he finally threw his hands up in frustration and said, "Mom, you can be so stubborn!"
Any parent who has a child that badgers feels the unending tension in the relationship. Parents may want to hide, or even look for ways to avoid their son or daughter. Some parents say that they cringe when they see that child coming. These parents feel bad, but the tension in the relationship has become a real irritation.
Many parents encourage the badgering by giving into it. One dad said, "My son keeps it up until he finds something I'll say yes to. He'll even change the subject and ask for something completely different. It seems as if he needs a yes answer in order to leave the conversation. I imagine that if I keep saying no he'd eventually ask something like, 'Dad, could I take out the trash?' just so I'll say yes to him. We're stuck in a pattern. Somehow, we need to figure out how to end without me saying yes."
If you have a child who demonstrates demandingness by badgering, you first need to point it out so that your child understands the problem. You might say, "Son, we're back in the badgering routine here. I want you to stop now and not ask me for anything else for the next hour. We can continue to talk or be together but no more permission questions for awhile."
When children badger and you grant permission for even good things, you may be fostering demandingness in your children. Badgering is a selfish way for children to get what they want.
Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN are authors of a large number of books and other resources on parenting and family life. You can visit them online and subscribe to their free parenting email newsletter at: http://effectiveparenting.org/. You can order their books online: "Home Improvement: Eight Tools for Effective Parenting" - http://snurl.com/effectiveparenting and "Say Goodbye to Whining and Complaining ... In You and Your Kids!" - http://snurl.com/goodbyewhining
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