Monday, January 17, 2011

Avoiding Mommy Meltdown

Hearts at Home - by Jill Savage - dollars@yahoo.com - © 2008 - Used by permission - Jill Savage is the founder and director of Hearts at Home http://www.hearts-at-home.org.

It happens to me every summer. I talk with moms about it and I think about it throughout the spring as I anticipate the transition from the school year to the summer. And yet, I hit July and find myself facing the emotions of mommy meltdown.

Why do I find myself feeling drained and exhausted during the best season of the year? It's because I do kids 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And if I don't arrange for a break or find some time for myself, no one is going to give it to me.

Don't get me wrong. I love my job. I wouldn't want to do anything but motherhood. Yet I'm ineffective if I don't learn how to find resources that encourage me along the way.

Moms need to recharge their batteries. They need fresh vision, new ideas, and encouragement for the journey of motherhood. Knowing where to find those resources is the first place to begin taking care of yourself. Once you know what is available, the next step is maximizing the  resources to meet your needs.

During the school year, there are over a dozen moms groups in the area where I live. However, during the summer those groups often take a break and we have to find encouragement in other ways. What's available to you right now? Check out some of these resources:

SUMMER STRUCTURE.
If you have school age children, your time to yourself is built into the day while the children attend school. However, during the summer everyone is home for every meal and looking to you to be the Director of Summer Activities. Several years ago I  discovered that some regular structure in our day built in a break for all of us. Each afternoon we take one hour of room time. This is their time to read, listen to music, or play in their bedroom. It's time for me to read a book, phone a friend, or complete a job without interruption.

INTERNET.
Moms need support from other moms. They need a place to find new ideas. They need encouragement. The Internet can be a wonderful place to meet all of those needs. There are hundreds of websites to help moms do their job well. Need encouragement in staying home?

Check out <http://www.hearts-at-home.org>. Need help with home organization and general housekeeping? You won't want to miss <http://www.flylady.net>! How about marriage? Take a peek at www.marriagepartnership.com . If you don't have the Internet at home, you can find access to the web at the local libraries.

BOOKS.
Visit the library or local bookstore and pick up a book to encourage you in your mothering. You might want to check out Hearts at Home's Becoming A Chief Home Officer. If you haven't read Professionalizing Motherhood, pick it up at your local bookstore. Both books can also be ordered by calling 309-888-MOMS.

OTHER MOMS.
One of the best resources available is other mothers. Ask a neighbor or friend to trade days off with you. Offer to watch her children one day a week in exchange for watching your children one day a week. The kids have someone to play with and the moms have some time off! It's a win-win for everyone!

Elisa Morgan writes in her book What Every Mom Needs: "We have to learn to help ourselves. We have to learn to ask. Directly, by using words. No one can read your mind. No one is going to waltz in, recognize your predicament, and save you."

You and I have an abundance of resources available to us; we simply need to maximize the opportunities. Rather than recovering from mommy meltdown, we can learn to avoid it all together!

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