Friday, December 31, 2010

Invisible Mother

Author unknown

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.  Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'   Obviously , not.  No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.  I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?'  I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England.  Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.  I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.  I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'  It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe.  I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'


In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book.  And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.  It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.  It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder.  As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.  The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.'  That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself.  I just want him to want to come home.  And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're going to love it there!'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.  And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOMS!

Last Minute Homemade Gift Ideas

Jar of Memories ~ Find an attractive jar and cut lots of colorful note-sized pieces. Write a single memory you have about a special person on each piece and place it in the jar. Fill it full of special memories!  Tie a pretty ribbon around the jar for a priceless jar of memories for a special person. Wouldn't an elderly parent just love a gift like this?   Sending the notes in the mail would make it a special joy to receive as well.       

 
Calendar of Children's Art Work ~ Make color copies of your children's prized art work to make a calendar.  You could also scan twelve pieces of your child's art work and upload the images to an online photo site such as Shutterfly or any service that does photo gifts.
 
Fridge Frame Magnets Handmade Gift Tags

Christmas Ornament CraftsFresh Ideas For Making Dazzling Holiday Decorations In A Snap! - www.BHG.com  - Enjoy these 14 videos of things to make for your home the holiday season or to give as gifts.  My favorite is the first one - how to redo old ornaments!

Sharing the Love of Jesus with Needy Children

You may personally know a family you could bless this Christmas, but if not here are just a few ways to bless others in need.

Your Church Family - Ask the pastor if there is a family in need.
www.savethechildren.org
www.toysfortots.org

Rescue Mission
Salvation Army

Christmas Tips and Ideas

Excerpts from a longer list by Twara Kellam - www.LivingOnADime.com - Used by permission

When stringing popcorn for garland, let it sit for a couple of days to get stale. Stale popcorn is easier to string. (I sure wish I'd known that last year! We made popcorn and cranberry garland. It was very pretty!)

Put some vegetable oil on a rag and polish red and green apples. Place in a bowl and fill in the spaces with greenery. (Lemons look nice, too! ...Or is that a different time of year? ;-)

When you have to send things through the mail, think about what you'll buy. Is it fragile, heavy or very large? None of these are good candidates for shipping. (Some of our family spend $150 in shipping to mail $100 worth of gifts.) Instead send smaller items like videos, CDs, or books, which can be sent inexpensively by Media Mail. If you're OK with gift certificates, you can usually send them for the price of one stamp.

Do you like to have fresh greenery in your home for Christmas? Go to any place that sells Christmas trees (tree lots, Lowe's, Wal-Mart, etc.) and ask for the branches and cuttings that have fallen off. They are usually glad to get them off of their hands since they're just going to throw them away. Besides using them for decorations, try tucking them in and around your artificial tree to give it that fresh tree smell. (We sometimes go to a local park after a windy day and collect freshly fallen evergreen boughs.)

Go to your carpet store and ask for the cardboard cores that carpet comes on. I wrap them in white plastic trash bags and twist red ribbon around them. That way I have instant giant peppermint sticks for my outside decorations (and they don't cost $50 each like the ones in the stores).
Are some of your Christmas decorations and ornaments looking a little battle-scarred and worn? Maybe you want to change from the country look to a more sophisticated look? Try spray-painting your older things with gold, silver or copper paint.

If you send a lot of cards each year, consider sending postcards instead of Christmas cards. They are less expensive to buy and cost less to send. You can even recycle some of the fronts of old Christmas cards to use as postcards.

Got more eggnog than you can drink? Use leftover eggnog for French toast. Just add a little cinnamon to it and it works wonderfully.

Kitchen Tips

For Quick and Easy Hard Cooked Eggs in Recipes without Peeling Them ~ Spray a frying pan with cooking spray.  Break as many eggs into the pan as your recipe calls for in the form of hard cooked.  Cook until the eggs are set.  Add about 1/4 cup of water and cover.  Cook until eggs are just cooked through.  Chop the eggs for in recipes calling for hard cooked eggs. 
 
A Tip from a Pampered Chef Consultant ~ Use baking soda to absorb any grease or oil that you're unable to remove from a pizza stone, cookie sheet or bar pan.  Put the baking soda in a shaker and keep it by the sink. When cleaning, wet the stone, then sprinkle with baking soda and use a hard scraper to clean it off.  It works really well.
 
Quick Cleanup ~ Especially for a big meal, fill the kitchen sink half full of hot soapy water as you cook, placing the dirty dishes in the sink to soak.  Loosen the dried food on your dishes and pots and clean up as you go, to save time and energy. 
 
Avocado Tip ~ If only using half of an avocado, leave the pit in the half you are not going to use, wrap it in plastic, and store in the refrigerator. The pit will help slow down the discoloration.  If the cut edge does become discolored, it can be cut off and the fruit underneath will be usable.

  • When baking cakes or bars, place them on the middle rack in the oven.
  • When baking cookies, place them on the top rack of the oven. If baking two sheets of cookies at one time, place them on different racks at different angles to allow proper air circulation. Switch racks about half way through the cooking time.
  • Cookies will burn less easily if they are baked on a light silver cookie sheet rather than a dark colored sheet.
  • If the outer edges of the cookies are getting browned and the center is not completely cooked, reduce the temperature 15 to 25 degrees. Your cooking time will increase slightly. Increasing the baking temperature would only brown the outer edges faster and the center of the cookie would still be underbaked.
  • Allow cookie sheets to cool in between batches to kept cookie dough from melting and becoming too thin at the edges.
  • Test doneness of bars, cakes, muffins, and quick breads by inserting a toothpick in the center of each. If they are done, the toothpick should come out clean or only have a couple of crumbs on it.
  • If you have difficulty removing muffins or cakes from the pans, place the hot pan on a wet towel and then remove from the pan.
  • To help phyllo dough cups keep their cup shape when baking, place approximately two tablespoons of baking stones or beans on a piece of aluminum foil, pull up the corners of the foil and twist together to form a small pouch. After placing the phyllo dough in the muffin cups, place a stone pouch in the middle of each one and then bake the dough. When done baking, remove the stone pouches and store to reuse.
  • To eliminate messy hands when greasing a baking pan, use a small plastic bag to cover your hand. Place your hand in the bag and scoop out a portion of the shortening with the covered hand and spread the grease on the pan. When finished remove the bag and throw it away. Your hands should be free of any shortening.
  • For golden brown, flaky pie crust, use a lightweight aluminum pie tin like the old fashioned type.
  • When making candy that is cooked to a high temperature, be sure you have a surface that can take the heat without causing damage when it is poured out of the pan. A large cookie sheet lined with aluminum foil works well. Once the candy has cooled, the foil can be removed.
  • To foil line a baking pan or sheet, turn the pan upside down and mold the aluminum foil to the bottom of the pan. After the foil is molded to the pan's shape, slip it off and turn the pan over. The molded foil should slip right into the pan and fit perfectly.

Precious Gems

From Sarah in Virginia:
This morning while I was in the shower, Natalie, 2, came in the bathroom and asked me if she could get dressed.  I said, “Sure, you can have clean clothes in the laundry basket in Ben's room."
After a few minutes I heard her fussing and we had the following conversation:
Me: "Natalie, what's the matter?"
Natalie: "No, Mommy, not matter ..." 
Me:  "OK, what's wrong?"
Natalie: "I can't get dressed."
I offered to help her when I was done with my shower and she replied, “No Mommy instruct it."
It took me a minute…..what in the world was “instruct it” and then I understood what she wanted.
Me: "Do you want Mommy to give you instructions?" 
Natalie:  “YES!!!"
So I gave her play by play instructions on how to put on her dress…..and she followed them and in the end her dress was on and she was a happy “instruct it” camper!

From Sharon in California ~ I'm laughing at Monica, 2, who has a sudden fascination with wanting to be a ballerina, except that she keeps saying "diarrheena."

From Julie in Washington ~ My office is on the other side of the dining room, and I was hearing something being banged on the wall, so I said "Karlie, Karlie Karlie," then paused and called, "Raylie, Raylie, Raylie, is that you banging on the wall?"  Then I hear a reply from Raylie, 3, saying, "No, it's Karlie!" (her 6 year old sister)  What a little stinker!

According to the dentist, age six is when you lose your first tooth.  My grandson, Justin, has been saying for the past half year, "I'm 6 now.  Why do I have all my teeth?"  Well, he got a loose tooth now, so he's happy!  I wonder if he will be saying the same thing when he's 96 years old? ~ Lois

The Most Important Recall Ever


Author unknown - Thanks to Barbara Price in Texas for sending this!
 
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:
        1. Loss of direction
        2. Foul vocal emissions
        3. Amnesia of origin
        4. Lack of peace and joy
        5. Selfish or violent behavior
        6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
        7. Fearfulness
        8. Idolatry
        9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
        1. Love
                2. Joy
                       3. Peace
                                4. Patience
                                        5. Kindness
                                                6. Goodness
                                                        7. Faithfulness
                                                                8. Gentleness
                                                                        9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!

GOD

Creative Crafts


CREATIVE CRAFTS
by Julie Druck - A Heart for Home Newsletter - aheartforhome-subscribe@... - Used by permission
 
* Slithery Snakes – These simple-to-make snakes are made with a metal coat hanger and an old tie.  Untwist a wire hanger, making it as straight as possible.  Feed the wire hanger through the entire length of a necktie.  (Check yard sales or thrift shops for some fun, vintage ties!)  Push small bunches of polyester filling into the tie from both ends.  Using a stick or pencil, push the filling deep into the center of the tie.  Keep stuffing evenly until the tie is filled.  Sew both ends closed.  Cut eyes and a tongue from felt scraps and glue them onto the wide end.  Shape snake by twisting as desired.  (Caleb made his without a wire which you can do, but then, of course, it doesn’t bend.)
 
* Lavender Votives – For a simple favor or hostess gift, fill a clear glass votive holder two-thirds of the way full with dried lavender.  Put a tea light on top of the lavender.  You can tie or glue a narrow ribbon around the holder if you wish. 
 
* Sachet Glove – This is another possibility for a hostess gift.  Using an old pair of white or cream-colored gloves, stuff them with dried lavender or potpourri.  Tie the top closed with a pretty ribbon.  The recipient can put in a drawer as a sachet.  (Try looking at thrift shops for inexpensive pairs of lovely gloves.)
 
* Felt Finger Puppets –When my nephew was three, I made a set of sweet rabbit, mouse, elephant, pig, cat and dog puppets for him for Christmas.  Cut two tongue-shaped pieces of felt for each body (approx. 3” in length).  Experiment with different shapes and sizes of felt for ears, beaks, nose or trunk.  Position the animal ears in between two body layers.  Sew together around outer edge, leaving the bottom open.  Position nose, trunk, etc., and glue in place.  Draw eyes, whiskers, etc., on with a fine permanent marker.
 
 
MORE FUN CRAFT IDEAS FOR KIDS
Have a hoot with pinecone owls
Branch out with your
family tree

Crown yourself the king or queen of fall
Celebrate the harvest with an apple card
Keep it natural with a tree bark notebook
More fun activities

10 Ways to Correct Behavior without Crushing Character

Author:Jim  Burns, Ph.D. - http://www.homeword.com - Used by permission

Have you  ever noticed how many life lessons you can learn in a garden? In a few cubic  yards of dirt, rocks and bugs, you can see the whole life saga unfold before  your eyes – prepare the soil, plant the seeds, nourish them so the plants will  grow and then harvest the crop (or enjoy the flowers). Sounds so simple, doesn’t  it! That is, of course, until the crabgrass creeps in or the weather turns harsh  or your interest in tending wanes. How easy it is for a growing garden to turn  into wasteland of weeds. At that point, the gardener has two choices – either  trash the garden and start again; or remove what shouldn’t be there and  replenish what should.

If you’re a parent, congratulations . . . the Creator has blessed you  with a “garden” of sorts. The “crop” consists of children – curious, creative creatures prone to making mistakes. When these “weeds” crop up in their character, however, you do not have the option of trashing the entire “garden.”  The key is to learn how to correct the behavior and salvage the spirit of the 
child at the same time.

Over the years, I’ve developed 10 ways you can do so. They aren’t  perfect, and they may need to be modified somewhat to adapt to certain  personality types. But, by and large, they’re effective.

1. Discipline with Consistency - Remember how many times you fell  off that two-wheeler before you finally got your balance? Same holds true for  your kids. Little ones may repeat the same bad behavior time after time after  time. Remember Ephesians 6 (especially you, Dad), and consistently show them the  right behavior. No need to lose your cool doing so, either.

2. Clearly  Express Your Expectations - More often than not, children generally want to please  their parents. When they do, they feel a great sense of security. But when they  don’t, they’ll react in one of two ways. They’ll either feel miserable for  disappointing you, or defiant and defensive because they know you’re upset. They  need to know that they’ve broken a rule, nothing more. They’re in no danger of  losing your love. Clearly expressing a consistent standard goes a long way  toward helping a child correct bad behavior on his or her own.

3. Involve  Your Child in Consequential Decision-Making - If you’re already putting the  first two principles in action, this one’s a no-brainer. You’ve established the  rules. You correct bad behavior consistently (in other words, there’s no getting  around the consequences). Now, you give the child the opportunity to take real  ownership for their actions by determining their own consequences (or helping to  establish them, at least).

4. “Let the Punishment Fit the Crime”  - As obvious as this might sound, I’m always amazed to hear of a parent who grounded  his daughter for a month because she forgot to set the table for dinner . . .  once. A missed homework assignment might be grounds for a night without  television; coming home four hours past curfew should warrant a more serious  consequence.

5. Discipline Calmly Ever heard the expression, “Perception  is reality?”  Well, it is – especially when you need to discipline your kids.  When you’re upset, you’re in no shape to mete out effective discipline. There’s a difference between punishment and discipline . . . and the difference is control. The out-of-control parent punishes a child out of anger; the parent in  control
disciplines to correct bad behavior.

6. Draw Up a “Family  Contract” -  Having trouble getting your child to remember to keep his room picked  up? Get it in writing! Family Contracts are excellent tools for helping your kids to learn what family rules are most important. You can make them for any of  a number of desired responses (eg homework, curfew, television viewing, music listening, etc). Click here for a sample contract – but not until you get to the  end of this list!

7. Remember “the 3 R’s” - When it comes to keeping a  child’s spirit open in the midst of discipline, remember – “Rules without  Relationship leads to Rebellion.” After all . . . we’re trying to correct behavior without crushing character here, right? Parenting involves more than “laying down the law.” The kind of relationship your children have with you will determine the way they interact with everyone else they meet in this life.

8. Communication is the Key to Keeping the Spirit Open -  When the discipline is done, chances are your kids will want to hole up in their rooms  and sulk. Don’t let ‘em. Scripture commands us to talk about our faith with our children “when we’re lying down and rising up.” Discipline is just one part of  the faith journey. While your child might need a good “pout” every now and again, resist the temptation to let them stew too long. (And remember, Mom and  Dad – no pouting from you either. I know parenting can be tough. But hang in there – it’s worth it!)

9. Your Words Can have Power – so use them  wisely! Your words can either build up or destroy your children. When a child’s spirit is broken because of bad or inappropriate behavior, make sure you attack the behavior – not the child.

10. Choose Your Battles Wisely -- If you’re  finding yourself growing more and more defensive when your kids act up, chances are you’re trying to manage too many battles on too many fronts. Now, I’m not saying you should ease up on your kids when they really need your discipline –  rather, make sure you do battle over things that are really worth fighting for (eg sexual purity, performance in school, etc) instead of those where a healthy compromise will do (eg keeping the room straight, cleaning up after the family  pet). Children can be unbelievably resilient . . . but they’re still precious cargo. Handle them with care. Correct behavior when necessary. Pray like their lives depend on it – because, when you get right down to it, they do!

What the Bible Says about Discipline and Love / To Spank or Not to Spank

WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT DISCIPLINE AND LOVE
by Lois Breneman, © 2009, Heart to Heart 
 
When our first child was seven, I put made a picture book on discipline to read to our children.  She saw the title, "What God Says about Discipline" on the cover, and said to me, "Why don't you add, 'And Love' in the title?"   A great idea, which I followed, by the way.  She knew we were using that method of discipline and love in our home.  
 
The book consisted of scripture verses about discipline from the book of Proverbs using the scripture verse and an appropriate picture.  I've saved all kinds of pictures through the years for this purpose.  This book has been a treasured book through the years, and is now laminated to preserve it.  
 
Some illustrated scriptures in that book are the following: Proverbs 29:19, 6:20-23, 3:11-12, 13:24, 17:14, 19:19, 20:30, 20:20, 22:6, 22:15, 19:26, 23:13-14, 26:21,29:15, 29:17    There are many more good ones in Proverbs and Ephesians!
 
In our family, we had been using "controlled spanking," but only for willful and defiant behavior.  When a child crossed the line, we privately explained to that child how we as parents needed to obey God in all things, even in disciplining our children, as He gave us instructions in the Bible.  We wanted to follow what God said, because all of His rules were for our own good - to make us better and happier people, as we obeyed Him.  So we'd ask the child why he or she thought discipline was necessary, making sure they understood why they were being corrected.  The child was then told to bend down and hold his knees or lay across the edge of a bed.  A few swats were administered to their posterior with a wooden spoon, enough to hurt, but nothing violent.  Next we would love the child, tell him he was forgiven, give hugs and kisses, talk and pray with him.  Part of the talking was lovingly reviewing with him how he should behave the next time a similar situation came up.  Biblical discipline does take some time, but then it is over and done with, and with good results.
 
On the other hand, I know parents who discipline by using "time outs," having to hold the child in a seat, as he screams violently and the parent has to raise his or her voice to be speak to the child.  When this method was used, it was agony for all those in the house.  I do not believe in swatting or beating a child, nor do I believe in spanking and just leaving the child to pout.  It is a process as explained above, and only for defiant behavior. 
 
Spanking does not produce violent children, as some may think.  Our three children and countless other children I know who have been raised in this manner are very well adjusted and loving adults today, with wonderful relationships with their parents.
 
By the way, Dr. Dobson only believes in spanking for willful and defiant disobedience as well - not for every little thing, and certainly not for accidents.  He wrote the New Dare to Discipline book, in which he has mellowed a bit on his approach.  I highly recommend his book.
 
 
TO SPANK OF NOT TO SPANK?
Excerpted from "Moments Together for Couples" by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.  Used with permission. Copyright 1995 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. To purchase the book, visit http://store.familylife.com/detail.asp?id=1170

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.   Proverbs 22:15

What can make a child cry and a group of parents tense up like they are about to receive a shot at the doctor's office? It's the S word-spanking.

Most of us know that the book of Proverbs affirms using "the rod of discipline." Because some parents have physically abused their children, an increasing number of people consider spanking to be synonymous with child abuse.

However, I believe properly administered spanking is a positive, biblical approach to raising children. Here are two simple guidelines:

First, clarify the boundaries and the punishment for the offense. Decide what behavior is "worth" a spanking, and be sure your child understands it. We have six children, and we only have half a dozen issues warranting a spanking. We have used spanking sparingly, as a last resort in the training of our children. But we have used it.

Second, it should not be administered in anger but out of love, and in the context of a relationship with the child. The purpose is to help the child understand that his or her wrong choices have consequences. We always loved on our children before and after they'd been disciplined. I didn't get that many spankings as a child, but I can tell you this-I always felt loved, and I definitely needed the correction!

As parents, we are in the process of producing a harvest of character, helping our children learn to be responsive to God and themselves for their lives. As parents, we can't gloss over flagrant disobedience and pretend it didn't occur. If we do, we allow foolishness, rather than wisdom, to have a foothold in our children's hearts.

Discuss: Are you and your spouse in agreement when it comes to disciplining your child? What are your boundaries and the penalties for crossing them?

Pray: Ask God to give you the courage to follow the Scriptures in your family. Ask Him to help you achieve that blend of authority and love that tells your children that you really care about them.

How Dr. Spock Destroyed America

by Reb Bradley © 2009 - This author describes how conservative parents are raising liberal children today. 
He is not a political expert, but a parenting expert.
 
In the last 50 years, our nation has taken a moral nosedive.
Since 1960, the rate of violent crimes has more than tripled. Every day there are news reports of heinous crimes unheard of in America a generation ago. Children murder their playmates, their teachers and their parents. Teenage mothers abandon their newborn babies in trashcans, and every year students commit carnage on their classmates. Our culture has sunk so low that children are no longer safe with their teachers in school or at church – scores of men and women are arrested every year for preying on the children under their care.

The sexual revolution that started in the '60s continues with many casualties. Promiscuity has become so rampant that 1 of every 4 teenage girls now has a sexually transmitted infection. In the last five decades, practices have become so deviant that the number of distinct STDs had risen from five to more than 50 – a sudden increase of a thousand percent. Obsession with sexual violence has brought a 318 percent increase in sexual assault.

Our nation is in severe moral decline, and the descent is not slowing.

The root cause of decline in America is not that difficult to deduce. When a society becomes out of control, it is because its members elevate self-indulgence and lack self-control. It really is that simple.

In the last 50 years, human nature has not changed. Selfishness, lust, covetousness and all other passions are in the human heart at birth. It is only a trained proclivity to say NO to our natural drives that keeps our passions in check – self-control is what stops us from stealing, murdering and committing adultery. It is parents who must instill this important quality in each generation. History and common sense teach us that the society in which children are not taught to keep control of their passions is destined to moral disintegration.

In America the reason that baby boomers and their children have grown up with less mastery over their passions than previous generations is because in the late '40s a new voice of authority on parenting rose to prominence, and parents of the '50s and '60s began to raise children differently than before.

In 1946, Dr. Benjamin Spock first published his infamous book "Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care," which was unlike any that came before it. Instead of stressing the importance of teaching self-denial and respect for authority, Spock discouraged directive training and emphasized accommodating children's feelings and catering to their preferences. No longer did children learn they could endure Brussels sprouts and suffer through daily chores. Using Spock's approach, parents began to feed self-indulgence instead of instilling self-control – homes were becoming child-centered. As parents elevated children's "freedom of expression" and natural cravings, children became more outspoken, defiant and demanding of gratification. In fact, they came to view gratification as a right.

Spock wrote his book in response to a cold, authoritarian philosophy of parenting that had been dominant in America. For years, parents had been told to withhold affection from their children – not to touch them too often – not to respond to their tears. Understanding of children had not been encouraged, and fathers had held a minor role in their nurture and care. These things distressed Spock, and they would have upset me had I been born back then. Children need our tender affection, understanding and respect. However, Spock's solutions reflected total ignorance of the hedonistic bent of human nature and fostered an over-exalted sense of self-importance in children. Homes became hotbeds for narcissism, entitlement and victim thinking.

In the early '60s, under Spock's influence, parents were watching their children become sassy and contentious, and increasing numbers were seeing them become juvenile delinquents and criminals. As the crime rate started to crawl up, SAT scores began to drop. Teenagers began to exercise less moral restraint and revealed an increasing contempt for authority. The free-love hippy movement and student protests were inevitable for children who had been raised to think too highly of themselves. Is it any surprise that Spock himself participated in protests and was arrested in 1968 because of his contempt for governmental authority?

In 1972, Spock's imbalanced view of child rearing became greatly apparent when he entered the presidential race as the candidate for the socialistic People's Party. Anyone who embraces socialism is clueless to a key element of proper parenting – personal responsibility.

What Spock's actions reveal about the weaknesses of his philosophies is obvious, but some doubt that Spock's influence was that pervasive. However, in the first year, his book sold 750,000 copies, and within six years it sold more than 4 million. It has since sold over 50 million and has been translated into more than 40 languages. According to Dr. Spock's website, it is second in sales only to the Bible. Life magazine certified the depth of his influence, naming Spock among the 100 most important people of the 20th century.
Even Dr. Spock was aware of his negative influence upon parents. In a 1968 interview with the New York Times, Spock admitted that his first edition of "Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care" contributed to an increase of permissive parenting in America. "Parents began to be afraid to impose on the child in any way," he said. In his 1957 edition, he tried to remedy that by emphasizing the need for setting standards and asking for respect. Unfortunately, Spock failed to see the deeper problems of his philosophy, so subsequent editions continued to cultivate narcissism.

As Spock's radical parenting ideas grew in popularity, other "experts" jumped on the bandwagon and promoted their own versions of indulgent child rearing. Since 1946, parenting approaches that foster narcissism and contempt for authority have become the accepted norm in higher education and subsequently, in society. It is a simple matter to trace the dominant hedonism of our culture back to Spock's influence.
And since the parenting we receive in childhood develops the worldview we hold as adults, Spock influenced not only how American's conduct themselves in society, but how they approach government as well. Interestingly enough, in the 1968 New York Times interview, Spock admitted that he would "be proud if the idealism and militancy of youth today were caused by my book." Raising children to adulthood with a defiant attitude toward authority was apparently one of his goals.

Spock died in 1998, and my intent is not to malign a man in the grave – it is to rescue America before we expire from moral disintegration. We must, therefore, identify and abandon the polluted well from which we have been drinking.

Those interested in repairing the damage done by Spock, both in the family and in society at large, will want to read "Born Liberal Raised Right: How to Rescue America from Moral Decline – One Family at a Time." It lays out a clear analysis of the problem and a simple plan for recovery.

Best-selling author Reb Bradley is not a political expert; he is a parenting expert. As a counselor, Bradley has diagnosed and helped thousands of parents transform their lives and those of their children. In 1998, he took note of the disintegrating moral fiber of our nation and decided to apply his diagnostic skills to find a cure for what ails our society. In his book, "Born Liberal Raised Right: How to Rescue America from Moral Decline – One Family at a Time," Bradley reveals how American society has grown out of control, because its members were not taught self-control as children. In fact, in his research he discovered that a liberal worldview is a direct outgrowth of various parenting styles.

11 Ways to Use Your Freezer As a Money-Saver

Copyright © 2009 Mary Hunt. All rights reserved.
Used by permission

If you like this article by Mary Hunt, you'll find lots more in the "Everyday Cheapskate" archives.

Whether you have a stand alone freezer unit or yours is part of your refrigerator, your freezer is either costing a lot in wasted energy or it's saving you a bundle in food costs. Here's how to make sure your freezer is saving you money:

1. Get a refrigerator/freezer thermometer to check the temperature. The closer to zero degrees Fahrenheit your freezer stays, the better. Food kept at zero degrees will last months longer than, say, 20 or 31 degrees.

2. Trapped air causes freezer burn. Make sure you select a container small enough so the contents fill it. You can remove a great deal of the air from a freezer bag without a fancy vacuum sealing machine. Seal all but enough space to slip in a drinking straw. Now inhale on that straw to pull all the air out of the bag. Quickly zip the last bit. Pop it into the freezer.

3. It takes a lot more electricity to keep an empty freezer at zero degrees than a full one. Pack it as tightly as you can. If you don't have enough food to do that, fill empty milk cartons with water and freeze them. The square shape is better than round jugs because you can stack them like bricks. Bonus: You'll have plenty of fresh water in the event of a power outage.

4. The simplest way to preserve fresh tomatoes is to freeze them whole. Just rinse, dry and spread them out on a cookie sheet. Freeze overnight. When frozen, put them in a freezer bag and return to the freezer. To use, remove from bag and thaw. When thawed, slip the skins off, and use in your favorite recipes. A thawed tomato will not be like a fresh tomato, but it is great for making sauces and chili.

5. You can freeze fresh zucchini. Choose young squash with tender skin. Wash and cut in 1/2-inch slices. Drop into boiling water for three minutes. Cool promptly, drain and package in zip-type bags or containers leaving 1/2-inch headspace. Seal and freeze.

6. To freeze fresh herbs (basil, cilantro, etc.), wash, drain and pat dry with paper towels. Wrap a few sprigs or leaves in wax paper. Seal in a freezer bag. Freeze. While still frozen, whack the bag on the counter top and the herbs will shatter. Chopped herbs in an instant! Use as you would fresh ones.

7. To freeze onions, chop them and spread into a single layer on a cookie sheet. Freeze. Once frozen, pour them into zip-type bags or containers and replace in freezer.

8. Take inventory. The worst thing for your electricity bill is to keep opening the freezer. Post an Inventory List on the door. As you use something, mark it off. That way, you can "shop" the list not stand there with the door open.

9. To ward off freezer burn in an opened container of ice cream, place a piece of plastic wrap over the top of the ice cream before you return it to the freezer.

10. Cheese freezes well, but it changes consistency. Once frozen, you won't be able to slice it. Instead of freezing a large block, grate the cheese before freezing and freeze in smaller portions.

11. Before freezing bread and bakery items, slip a paper towel inside the bag to cover the item. Re-close, pressing out as much air as possible. It will be fresh months from now.
 

Back to School Organization

by Rachel Webb Copyright ©2001 ~ Used by permission

From a relaxing summer with no definite schedule to tight schedules - often the whole back to school experience becomes a juggling act for both kids and parents. In my crazy household it all stems from un-organization. Here are some preventative medicine and time saving tips that may help you avoid hearing, "Mom, where is my homework?" 

1. Mark the Stuff! 
Put your child's name on the back of everything...most of you probably figured this one out and already mark the backpack, books and jackets but what about their shoes? Last year my 7 year old daughter wore 4 different pairs of shoes home that were not hers and couldn't figure out why they didn't fit right! I gave up trying to figure out how that could possibly happen and just started writing her name on the bottom of the shoes! 

2. Notes from Home
A friend of mine who is an elementary school secretary, spends most of her morning sorting through a "ga-zillion" unmarked notes and wads of lunch money. She suggests that before the school year starts, pre-mark envelopes with your child's name and grade on it. You may want to get a rubber stamp made up or order personalized address labels. Get Free labels at http://www.FreeAddressLabels.com.  You can use them for lunch money envelopes, identifying books, returning field trip permission slips, etc.

3. Photocopy Parental Release Forms
How many times are you going to fill out the emergency medical form, you know, the one required by every school? One for every child. I have 4 children x 13 years of school = 52 times! What a waste of time! This tip was shared by Anita from Ohio.  She pointed out that it can be very tedious looking up addresses and phone numbers of the doctor, dentist, hospital, and family friend to call in an emergency, etc. Do it once, and file photocopies on hand for the next year.

4. Magnetic Fridge Calendar
As the kids bring home a note about an event, transfer the information to a Fridge Calendar where everyone in the 
household can see planned activities and one that is easy to write-on/wipe-off. Last year I wanted one that included a notes area that would match my kitchen so I made my own. You can see examples at : http://www.Note-Ables.com.  Calendars should be made entirely of flexible magnetic material so it won't slide off when the kids slam the fridge door! 

5. Pre-Pick Daily Clothes
90% of our school morning battles take place regarding what to wear. Laying out clothes the night before helps, but if that hasn't solved your problem, try this idea from Tandy, a mom of four. She bought a 5 compartment sweater hanger for the closet and helps the child choose the wardrobe for the whole week. Even socks and underwear get put in each day's "cubby" Sunday afternoon. OK Moms, that creates your deadline for getting the laundry all caught up!

6. File System for School Papers
In preparing for the multitude of papers your kids will be bringing home, keep a three tired wire basket by their bedroom door, or your kitchen counter. Teach your kids basic organizational skills by having them sort through their own backpacks and put papers that need "To Be Signed" by mom in the top basket. Another basket is for "Important Stuff Mom Needs"  (PTA info., fund-raisers, school policies, etc.) and a basket for "Art & Awards" to be used as scrapbooking ideas and keepers. One mom has a rule for the top basket: "If it's not in the top basket by bedtime, it doesn't get signed that night." This eliminates the last minute papers waving in Mom's face as you rush out the door and gives you a chance to actually READ what you are signing!

Rachel Webb is a WAHM of 4 and designs write-on/wipe-off Magnetic Fridge Calendars.  Made entirely of flexible magnetic material, her organizational calendars are guaranteed no to slide off when the kids slam the fridge door!  Visit her site: www.Note-Ables.com.

Memorization Tips / Spell Cheque

MEMORIZATION TIPS
 
The Great Lakes ~ When I was teaching my kids the Great Lakes, I told them to remember the word, "HOMES" (Lake Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, and Superior).  They learned them in quick time. ~ A great tip from Debbie Klinect in Florida! 
If you want to learn them in order from west to east (left to right), learn the sentence, "Sam's Horse Must Eat Oats."
(Lake Superior, Huron, Michigan, Erie and Ontario).

SPELL CHEQUE
Author unknown  (The English language can be confusing with different spellings and meanings!  Just read this and see!) Please read the complete left column first, then the second column.  I try to squeeze everything into less pages if possible.  For a great test of the proper use of the English language, have your children correct this poem.  Or do it yourself!
 
   Eye halve a spelling chequer                                  
As soon as a mist ache is maid

   It came with my pea sea                                          
It nose bee fore two long     

   It plainly marques four my revue                             
And eye can put the error rite

   Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.                                 
Its rare lea ever wrong.
 
   Eye strike a key and type a word                           
Eye have run this poem threw it

   And weight four it two say                                        
I am shore your pleased two no   

   Weather eye am wrong oar write                           
Its letter perfect awl the weigh  

   It shows me strait a weigh.                                      
My chequer tolled me sew.

Math Help for Children Taught at Home or at School

We all know the parental involvement necessary with homework, whether your children are taught at home or at school!  These tips are from a wonderful homeschooling mom in Florida, Debbie Klinect!
 
In learning your multiplication tables I find it easier to learn them backwards from the 12 times tables down to 1.  When we used to do it starting at 1, we would get to the six tables and my kids would freeze.  Then I decided to try an experiment and started at 12 and by time we got down to 6, they knew them all because all they had to do was the reverse: 12 x 6 = 72, 6 x 12= 72. 
 
Here are some other tips for the times tables:
1 times any number is that number.
2 times any number is like adding that number twice.
5 - look at a clock and remember how many minutes that is.  5 x 6 is 30 because on a clock it is 30 minutes.
9 times any number - just subtract one from the number you are multiplying, and that is your first number in your answer.  Then make sure the second number you write down makes your answer add up to 9.  9x6 is 54 because 5 is one less than 6 and 5+4=9. 
10 times any number, add a zero to the end of the number  5 x 10, just add a zero to the back of 5 to make it 50.
11 times any number up to 9 is two of those numbers, 9 x 11 is 99.
 
One summer I wanted to get my youngest son to know his multiplication facts before we started the new school year.  So, I got a deck of flash cards at the Dollar Store and starting with the 12 times cards we went over them.  I played this game with him where I would hold up the card and slowly start lowering it face down to the table.  He was to try to get the answer before it hit the table.  I also told him when he got all of the 12 times cards memorized, I would give him a dollar.  We did that each week of the summer, adding one more set of cards to the mix each week.  By week two he had the 12 and 11 times cards to go through.  By the end of the summer he had $12.00 to spend on whatever he wanted!  I also taught him those tips I listed above to help him memorize them.  For some kids the 7 and 8 tables are very hard, so we got out a jump rope and he would jump to those answers.  For some reason saying the answers and the jumping together helped make the answers stick in his brain.
 
Eventually our kids will memorize their times tables, especially if you use a curriculum that is heavy on drilling like Saxon Math. 

The Church / Waiting

THE CHURCH
Author unknown - Thanks to Jalisa Wenger in Pennsylvania for passing this along.
The Church needs youth and older folks too.
The Church needs Timothys to succeed Paul to carry on the work of the Church.
The Church needs Moseses who use what capabilities God has given them.
The Church needs Daniels who have purpose of heart.
The Church needs people such as the Hebrew boys who will neither bend, budge nor burn.
The Church needs Lydias who are hospitable.
The Church needs Joshuas who are strong and courageous.
The Church needs Ruths who determine to take the right course.
The Church needs Samuels who will hear the voice of God.
The Church needs Davids who are men after God's own heart.
The Church needs Jonathan's with a working trust in God.
The Church needs Jeremiahs who will weep for lost souls.
The Church needs Agabuses who see the need of the Church to stay close to the Word.
The Church needs Barnabuses who are good men and full of the Holy Spirit.
The Church needs Marys who will sit at the feet of Jesus, who are willing to be taught by the Word.
The Church needs pillars and not leaners.
The church needs ... YOU!


WAITING
The Circuit 'Riter, Michael Ullrich
http://www.In-His-Steps.com - Used by permission

Isaiah 40:28-31 "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Waiting is one of the hardest things for many in the western culture to do. Remember the "good old days" when it might take a week to get a letter from a loved one? I made regular stops each day at my college mailbox hoping that a letter had arrived from the young woman who is now my wife. One time her letter got lost in the mail. Oh, the agony of that week!

Now days, I have trouble waiting for my e-mail to download. Somehow, I don't seem to have as much time as I used to, in spite of quicker communications.

Someone has said, "the only thing harder than waiting for God, is wishing you had!" God's people down through the ages have learned this, often the hard way. Isaiah had probably been through it himself as he prayed that Israel would listen to God's message and respond, but nothing seemed to happen.

Isaiah wrote, "but those who hope (put waiting trust) in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" (Is. 40:31).

Although waiting can be very hard, the consequences of hurrying before the Lord will far outweigh the pain of waiting. Additionally, the benefits are based in the promises of God! It is hard to wait, but, oh to know what it means to soar like an eagle!

Colorful No-Wash Elasticized Tablecloth

by Lois Breneman, © 2005, Heart to Heart 
 
        I enjoy colorful tablecloths, but don't enjoy the extra work of having to launder them so often, as is necessary when you have people and food in one place - especially with children.  So when our children were small, I tried to figure out a solution for our oval kitchen table.  Of course, after I thought of this idea, I saw it in magazines, so I wasn't the first person to come up with the idea! 

        This idea works well for a round or oval table, but not a square or rectangular table where there are corners.  Using a pretty fabric, I cut it two inches larger than the table all around the edge.  Using 1/4 inch wide elastic, I sewed it around the edge, stretching all the way, even along the straight edges, especially stretching hard around the curves.  Then I cut and sewed elastic on a heavy piece of clear vinyl in the same way. 

        The fabric tablecloth gets placed on the table first, then the vinyl one and you'll never need to wash your tablecloth!  If you would rather do this sewing procedure only once, purchase one of the many beautiful vinyl prints available in stores.  Then don't worry about the spills!

How to Plan Great Family Meals That Your Family Enjoys

by Lois Breneman, © 2009, Heart to Heart 
 
Sit down with your husband and come up with a list of at least ten to twenty healthy dinners that you both really enjoy.  Next sit down with your children and do the same.  Some meal preferences will overlap, which is a good thing.  Then make a list of the ingredients for these meals.  It will save you lots of valuable time if you make at least two identical meals at a time and freeze one. 

My dear niece, Diane, recently assembled a large pan of lasagna while having her eleven year old daughter, Victoria, do the same right next to her.  Not only did Victoria learn how to assemble and cook lasagna, but the family had Diane's lasagna pan to freeze for a future meal!  This is a unique way to teach your children and grandchildren how to cook!
 
Many main dishes freeze very well, so why not purchase enough ingredients one week to make one, two or three of your family's favorite recipes in large quantities and freeze them to lighten your time in the kitchen this summer.   You might want to choose all chicken dishes one week and ground beef recipes another week, until you have your freezer well stocked with a variety of meals.  You will save yourself some work and time by cooking all the same type meat at once.  Then assemble and label the meals and "squirrel" them away for a carefree mealtime later. 
 
Casserole dishes can be reused for other meals even before those meals are eaten.  Here's how.  Freeze casseroles in dishes such as glass Corningware casseroles.  After the casserole is frozen solid, remove it from the freezer by running hot water over the bottom and remove the food by carefully inserting a knife around the sides.  It will pop right out.  Wrap, label and date the meal with a permanent marker.  Now those casserole dishes are ready for the next round of meal assembly!
 
Meat loaves can be assembled without any dishes.  Simply wrap those in freezer paper.   Unbaked quiche can be frozen for a delicious meal later.  For healthier quiche, you can make a "crust" out of brown rice, seasoning and a beaten egg mixed in.  Rather than adding sausage, use chicken or turkey and add sage and other spices to give it the sausage flavor.
 
Vegetables casseroles freeze well.  Prepare casseroles of broccoli, green beans, carrots or mashed potatoes for great side dishes or all-vegetable meals.

How to Stay Married!

Author unknown, including the prayer at the end.
 
        A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything.  They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.  In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.  He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "My grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll." 

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

"Honey," he said, "That explains the doll, but what about all of this money?  Where did it come from?"

"Oh," she said, "That's the money I made from selling the dolls."

A Prayer ... Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods; Because Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'm afraid I might hurt him.  And I don't know how to crochet. - Amen! 

White (Lie) Cake

Author unknown - Thanks to Janis Weber Williamson in Tennessee for sending this!

Have you ever told a white lie? You are going to love this, especially all of those who bake for church events. 

Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies' Group in Tuscaloosa , but forgot to do it until the last minute.  She remembered the morning of the bake sale; and, after rummaging through cabinets, found an angel food cake mix & quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing, and helping her son pack for Scout camp.
When Alice took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured.  She thought, 'Oh dear, there is not time to bake another cake.'
This cake was important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church and in her new community of friends.  So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake.
Alice found it in the bathroom - a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect.
Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter Amanda and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home.
When Amanda arrived at the sale, she found the attractive, perfect cake had already been sold.  She grabbed her cell phone and called her mom.
Alice was horrified - she was beside herself. Everyone would know!  What would they think? She would be ostracized, talked about, and ridiculed!  All night, Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.

The next day, Alice promised herself she would try not to think about the cake and would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a fellow church member and try to have a good time.  Alice did not want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at Alice because she was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa, but having already sent her RSVP, she couldn't think of a believable excuse to stay home.

The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old South and to Alice 's horror, the cake in question was presented for dessert!   Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake!
She started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, 'What a beautiful cake!'

Alice still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, 'Thank you, I baked it myself.'

Alice smiled and thought to herself, 'God is good.'