Morning Prayer for Moms

by Phyllis Brokaw - March 2005 - Used by permission

Good morning, Dear Lord,
My day's just begun.
Please guide me and help me to honor Your Son.
Help me to walk in the path you have planned.
There are so many options---so many demands!

Help me keep focused, Your Word obey,
Teach me to trust You each step of the way.
Don't let me wander, don't let me stray,
May Your will be done in my life today.

Amen.

The Little Things

by Sheila J. Petre - Used by permission

    

Sometimes I weary of the little things, the relentless role of referee, Isaiah in our bed at two in the morning, Isaiah back downstairs at two in the afternoon, the sticky cake-sprinkle containers, the memory game with only two matching sets left, Laurel's endless "What should I do now?", the plugged vacuum cleaner hose, the little notch in the silverware drawer where Rachael sawed a knife against it, a broken fingernail clippers, the burp cloths in the drawer I used to keep the candles in, promising gladly to do something only to find myself under Michael's disapproval, losing the checkbook, losing my temper.  I used to be able to keep them both so nobly!  Stuffing size-one baby clothes into the drawer still too-full with newborn sleepers, reading thirty-seven books in one week, including Flicka, Ricka, Dicka Bake a Cake nine times, putting thirty-seven books back on the shelf for the second time in one morning, the three uncut threads dangling from the end of the sleeve of a dress I sewed eighteen months ago, not being able to afford boneless skinless chicken breast, the marbles which nobody but Allegra can find, being asked where to find scissors when they have six pairs and two are right under their noses, being asked what I'm doing when I'm kneading bread, the cracked highchair tray, feeling guilty for buying disposable diapers, Joshua's thumb where his broccoli should be, the drain-catcher full of flotsam right after I took out the slop...so many things I can do something about and so many things I can't...

 

"When people like me tell you children are only in your home briefly, believe them!" wrote an older mother in a letter I got yesterday. And this younger mother presses her hands together and squeezes her eyes shut but it doesn't send the prayers further or keep the tears back.

 

Sometimes Michael, in a few simple sentences, explains five difficult verses in the book of Romans; sometimes I walk across the floor with Allegra, esteeming the weight of an entire person in my arms, sometimes Isaiah really does go potty in the potty chair, sometimes both of Joshua's dimples show at once, sometimes Laurel asks a question which proves she understood that Bible story, sometimes I look into Rachael's eyes and she giggles, and I take a step back and crack the only pink cup we had left and it doesn't matter.

 

I sit down with my nursing baby and write down all the little things I weary of, pause a moment, and add a few things to balance those, reassured by the way the scale tips sharply in Motherhood's favor; at how little a sticky cake-sprinkle container weighs.

 

I write these things for the days these children, here such an endless briefly, are gone and I can read both lists and find them both positive, transformed by the perspective of the years. Perhaps then I will press my hands together again--and be wise enough to cry.

 

175 Things to Do Together as a Family

 A Valuable Resource for This Summer and All Year 'Round!

This is not "homework, ladies, but very soon as summer vacation begins for your children, many of you will hear these dreaded words echoing through your home, "Mom!  I'm bored!  There isn't anything to do!"   If you're like most families, you sometimes run out of creative activities to do together as a family, so here are a few ideas. I enjoyed making this list, thinking back to the many fun times we had together as a couple and with our three children. We haven't done every single one of these activities through the years, but almost. Your family may already have a head start on this list!

Many of these activities are appropriate for couples before children, with children of all ages including teens, and even after you have an empty nest.  Babysitters, take note of some activities you might be able to use with the children under your care, with their parents' permission, of course.  Although quite a few are good ideas for singles while dating, married couples will be able to draw from this list for ideas of date nights as well.  Many ideas are for families with small children, but would also be fantastic activities for grandparents to use with their grandchildren during a Grandparents' Day!  It might be fun for your family to go down the list together and check the activities you have already done, and then to find some new ones to do together. Now when your children say, "Mom, I'm bored!  What can I do?" ~ you will have this valuable resource!

175 THINGS TO DO TOGETHER AS A FAMILY

by Lois Breneman, Copyright 2003

Close your eyes and try to remember the most fun your family has ever had. Now tell me, was your family busy doing something together or were you all gathered around the television set? With the ever increasing demands of school, career and church, Christian families need to relearn how to be together and have fun. When your children are grown, they will remember the special times of family togetherness. Great memories have to be created. A little effort and imagination will fill your family's free time and enrich the lives of those you love most. Here are some simple, inexpensive (or free!) activities that can be enjoyed by almost everyone. Turn off the tube and tune in to family fun.

1. Take a bicycle trip.
2. Make homemade ice cream or visit an ice cream parlor.
3. Bake a double batch of cookies and deliver one to a needy family.
4. Visit an airport and watch the planes take off and land, or go to a lake and watch the boats, while you have a picnic.
5. Go on a breakfast picnic.
6. Go to a park and hike or climb trees.
7. Make popcorn, maybe even caramel corn.
8. Enjoy the snow together by building a snowman, snow bears, a huge turtle or other animals, making a snow fort or throwing snowballs. How about making snow ice cream?
9. Go swimming or water skiing.
10. Plan a scavenger hunt for outside. Or plan one for in the house using every letter of the alphabet.
11. Bake plain sugar cookies and let each member of the family take part in decorating them.
12. Make playdough and sculpt objects or people (even from Bible stories).
13. Read a good book aloud. (C.S. Lewis' "Tales of Narnia" appeals to children and adults alike.
14. Look through photo albums or view family slides, movies, or videos.
15. Play miniature golf or croquet.
16. Make a tape recording of the most recent news and send it to a close friend or relative whom you seldom see.
17. Make a "birthday flag" for the next upcoming birthday.
18. Go fishing.
19. Play a board game that all can enjoy---Monopoly, Sorry, Scrabble.
20. Work on a jigsaw puzzle.
21. Go roller skating or ice skating.
22. Make family silhouettes. Use a slide projector or a bright lamp to project the head profile on a blank wall. Hold paper against the wall and trace the silhouette. Cut out and glue it on a contrasting sheet of paper or poster board.
23. Have a candy treasure hunt.
24. Work on a crossword puzzle.
25. Play "Start a Story." One person starts the story and talks for three minutes (use timer). The next person must continue the story, and so on. After going around the family circle two or three times, the youngest child gets to end the tale.
26. Provide old magazines, scissors and glue. Pick a theme for your collage (families, God's creations, things to be thankful for, etc.).  Everyone cuts out pictures and glues them onto a large piece of paper or poster board.
27. Go to the flea market or bright and early one Saturday morning visit 10 garage sales and see who can come home with the best bargain for a dollar.
28. Sing favorite choruses, hymns or nursery rhymes around the piano or guitar. You could even use a tape or CD to follow along.
29. Make plaster of Paris hand prints. Put name, year and age on the back.
30. Make a family banner. The banner should be made of felt or the flag fabric found in fabric stores. Decorate with pictures that illustrate interests of family members.
31. Go to the zoo.
32. Go bowling.
33. Make your own homemade pizza. Add mushrooms, peppers, onions, black olives and crushed pineapple to the pizza sauce and cheese.
34. Invite another family over for a game of charades or "Guesstures."
35. Listen to recordings of your favorite music.
36. One sunny Saturday morning, get out the gardening tools and find someone (a shut-in, perhaps) who could use some free yard work. Everyone can pitch in and help.
37. Make a collage using seeds, rice, cereal, old buttons and sewing scraps.
38. Catch fireflies together, put them in a jar and watch them light up. Let them go.
39. Do needlework: cross-stitch, crewel, candle wicking, rug-hooking, smocking.
40. String popcorn and place on a tree for the birds.
41. Write the words and music to a chorus together.
42. Make puppets out of lunch bags, old socks, felt, wooden clothespins. Put on a puppet show.
43. Have a bonfire outdoors or in your fireplace and roast hot dogs and marshmallows.
44. Go to your nearest hospital and look at the babies in the maternity nursery. (Visiting hours only).
45. Visit a shut-in or an elderly friend or relative in a nursing home.
46. Pick wildflowers and press some of them to save.
47. Read a Psalm together. Then write a psalm of praise for your own family.
48. Play "I think you're nice because..." Someone thinks of a quality he likes in the person who's "it." Other family members try to guess by asking, "Does it begin with an "A?" and so forth.
49. Listen to a tape of a Bible story. You can tape good stories from Christian radio stations. 50..Share prayer requests that affect and concern the whole family, then pray about them.
50. Make a mobile. Gather special treasures (shells, nature objects, hollow, decorated eggs, valentines). Tie thread or yarn of varying lengths to the end of each and attach to a hanger.
51. Ask your children about their greatest fear, and talk about them.
52. Encourage little ones to color a picture to send to grandparents.
53. Make a list together of all the things in your house that use electricity. You might do this when you lose power sometime.
54. Build a village using blocks, Lincoln logs or Legos. Get out the matchbox cars!
55. Enjoy a shopping trip for something little, but fun---a jar of bubbles, stickers, paper dolls, a matchbox car.
56. Play "20 Questions." One person chooses a Bible character or object to be guessed. The other members of the family take turns guessing what the secret object or person might be. No more than 20 questions can be asked and each one must be able to be answered with a simple yes or no. Whoever guesses first becomes "It" for the next round. Good for car trips too.
57. Visit a farm. Milk a cow, help to feed the animals. Take pictures.
58. Play badminton, volleyball, tennis, Frisbee, yard darts or ping pong.
59. Take the kids on a tour of where Dad works.
60. Play hide-and-seek (inside or outside).
61. Play "Bible Verse Scramble." One person chooses a favorite Bible verse and writes each word on a separate piece of paper. Scramble the order of the words and challenge each member of the family to see who can put it together the fastest. It could be one the family has memorized together.
62. Go camping in the backyard. Cook breakfast on the grill.
63. Draw a family tree on paper and complete it as a family. Add old photographs if available.
64. Go jogging or take a walk together.
65. Give each person a large piece of paper and take turns tracing the outlines of their bodies on it. Color in the outlines to look like you.
66. Using white shelf paper or the inside of brown grocery bags, design your own wrapping paper with crayons, magic markers or paints--even potato prints.
67. Go to the library. Check out books, records, tapes and art reproductions. Check out books showing how to make crafts with children.
68. Gather a variety of leaves and identify them.
69. Write a letter to a missionary family. Your children could write to a missionary's child his own age.
70. If you have a computer, create a family newspaper. Each child can write a story, Dad and Mom can write a column, and an older child or parent can edit and type. Send copies to the grandparents.
71. Make candy or caramel apples.
72. Fly a kite!
73. Jump rope.
74. Take pictures of all the houses in your neighborhood, then arrange the houses on a large poster board and identify the people living in the houses. Write their addresses and phone numbers at each house too.
75. Visit a friend.
76. Dig out a flower bed and give each family member his own "plot." Plant seeds, bedding plants, vegetables or bulbs and watch God's creations grow!
77. Read favorite poems aloud.
78. Put together a scrapbook describing a favorite vacation or any special event (pictures, writing, souvenirs).
79. Rake up a big pile of leaves to jump and play in. If it's warm outside, turn on the water sprinkler and run through it.
80. Write and act out a play centered on a specific holiday, a Bible story or a character quality. Mom, Dad or one child could be the production manager.
81. Pick apples and make apple sauce together.
82. Gather seashells. Mount and identify.
83. Make snowflakes out of lightweight white paper and hang from the ceiling with thread.
84. Create a traveling friendship basket. Fill an inexpensive basket with baked goodies, crafts, coupons, and so forth. Pass it on to a friend. Leave a note in the basket, directing it to be passed on (within the week) to someone else who could use some cheer.
85. Go to a ball game or play one---football, kickball, softball, baseball, basketball, soccer.
86. Finger paint on glazed paper (shelf paper, freezer paper) with chocolate pudding.
87. Go sledding.
88. Go skiing.
89. Take a trip to an amusement park, a museum or a planetarium.
90. Use fabric crayons to design individual T-shirts.
91. Set a Bible verse to a familiar tune and learn both the verse and song as a family.
92. Write and record an interview with a Bible character.
93. Build a tree house or fort.
94. Go horseback riding.
95. Write and illustrate a short story about an imaginary animal.
96. Build a robot out of empty boxes of all shapes and sizes. oatmeal and salt boxes work well.
97. Work together on a model kit.
98. Work on a stamp collection together.
99. Play with sand toys and trucks in a sandbox.
100. Using construction paper, write out and illustrate favorite proverbs. Join the pages to make a book.
101. Collect rocks, mount and identify, using books from the library.
102. Catch butterflies with a butterfly net.
103. Collect insects and mount with straight pins on a foam board.
104. Identify the insects using books from the library.
105. Go bird watching. Learn to identify various birds. Learn to identify them just by hearing them also. Make a bird book together.
106. Build a birdhouse and read about how to attract birds to your yard.
107. Tell your children how you first met and some of the things you did together before you married.
108. Plan and cook a meal together, where you invite the grandparents or other family or friends.
109. Play leapfrog.
110. Play jacks.
111. Have a water balloon toss.
112. Learn about safety together.
113. Have a fire drill. Discuss what to do in case of a fire.
114. Read jokes to each other.
115. Have Grandma and Grandpa tell how they met and how life was for them as children. Have them tell about their favorite toys and how they compare with today's toys.
116. Make "smores" in the fireplace or outdoors.
117. Get a book out of the library about science experiments. Do them and try to think up an application to life.
118. Learn to juggle.
119. Learn to use a yoyo.
120. Carve an animal out of a bar of Ivory soap.
121. Do origami, using books from the library.
122. Make your own card to send to grandparents.
123. Make a simple pinwheel and make it blow in the wind.
124. Make thumbprint animals. Make cards, using thumbprints.
125. Sail toy boats in a stream.
126. Wear old tennis shoes and go wading in a stream.
127. Make an inside tent, using sheets or blankets over a card table.
128. Visit an orchard and see how apple cider is made.
129. Watch a parade together.
130. Feed ducks at a duck pond.
131. Visit an antique shop with grandparents, and listen to their stories of how it was when they were growing up. Have them explain how the various antiques were used.
132. See what you can buy at a dollar store, where everything is $1.
133. Visit a fire station.
134. Go to the city market together some Saturday morning.
135. Whistle with a blade of grass between your thumbs.
136. Make banana splits together.
137. Make homemade vegetable soup together.
138. Make a Birthday cake for Jesus.
139. Make hand shadows on the wall look like various animals. Make them talk to each other.
140. Catch frogs at a pond.
141. Clean the house together.
142. Make a playhouse out of several big boxes. Decorate.
143. Share miles of smiles by making and washing doll clothes with your girls.
144. Make a water slide, using garbage bags cut to lay out flat. Place on a bank or hill, run a slow stream of water down the hill with a hose, and slide!
145. Using a big box of odds and ends and some art supplies, see what each person can create.
146. Go on a photography walk. Take pictures of each person, against a backdrop of flowers or nice scenery.
147. Take a ride on a bus, train or subway.
148. Call your local newspaper. Ask for a tour of the layout area and printing press.
149. Go to the tallest building in your area and see what landmarks you can spot.
150. Have a taffy pull.
151. Buy herb plants at the market and grow an herb garden together. Learn how to use the herbs in cooking, potpourri and decorations.
152. Draw roads in your driveway with chalk, designating your house, a school, church, hospital, railroad tracks, train station, etc. Ride tricycles and Big Wheels all around the town.
153. Have your children draw beautiful colored pictures on your driveway with colored chalk. It will wash off with the next good rain.
154. Paint your house with big paint brushes and a bucket of water.
155. Buy dress-up clothes at yard sales or Goodwill and have fun.
156. Make yeast bread together - or sticky buns.
157. Line up the kitchen chairs, one behind the other, and form a "train," and go on a trip somewhere.
158. Play "Follow the Leader."
159. Make an airplane instrument panel out of a large box. Glue on lids of all sizes and colors for the control buttons.
160. Play "Simon Says."
161. Play hop scotch.
162. Cover empty salt boxes with colored contact paper and use for building.
163. Make a walkie talkie, using two empty juice cans with string between them (15-20').
164. Make a long list of opposites and make a game out of it.
165. Make a long list of homonyms and make a game out of it.
166. Make a long list of synonyms and make a game out of it.
167. Watch bean seeds sprout in a jar with two wet paper towels and a little water.
168. Grow an indoor garden of carrot, onion, sweet potato sprouts, by cutting off part of the vegetables with sprouts, and putting them in a dish of shallow water.
169. Make an ant farm together.
170. Have a blindfolded sniffing game, using various items in custard cups or on small plates. Use such things as an onion, cinnamon, vanilla, soap, rubbing alcohol, bleach, chocolate, an orange, banana, cheese, toothpaste, garlic, etc.
171. Make drums out of oatmeal boxes, kazoos out of combs and waxed paper and cymbals out of lids. Then put them into action!
172. Make rock creatures by finding small smooth rocks, then gluing and painting them to look like animals.
173. Make a train out of shoe boxes. Paint and decorate.
174. Play grocery store, using cans and boxes from the kitchen.
175. Last but not least, go to Sunday school and church together each Sunday.

Choosing Joy and Sanity in Mommyhood

by Heather Hostler, Susan Pontius, Andrea Bean, and Alison Buck – July 2009 - Used by permission

A dear friend of ours recently sent out a plea for help and encouragement  in her role as a mom. All of us have multiple children under the age of 8. One of us is a single mother. Here are some things we’ve gleaned, and there’s so much left to learn!

All Around the House

*Tackle big projects in small steps.  Plan ahead as much as possible for major changes in schedule or for things that will disrupt the flow of daily life (i.e. job changes, new siblings, new living arrangements, medical concerns, remodeling projects, trips/vacations, baby-sitters, etc.).

*If/when possible, plan meals in advance for the week or even the month.  This saves time and money at the grocery store AND takes the guess work out of cooking. 

*Have a “schedule” for meals for breakfast or lunch.  Post this so the children can read it…maybe even use pictures as a visual.

*Start dinner in the morning via prep work, defrosting, or even crock pot cooking.  Make a double recipe if you can and freeze it for later.  Begin this process when you have the most energy instead of during the afternoon when blood sugar and patience tends to drop. Crock pot meals are great ideas that you can start early and set it for the day.

*Always have staple foods on hand for meals – “the quick fix” – when you are absolutely exhausted or unable to function under normal circumstances.  At our house, this list includes grilled cheese and soup, PB&J, cereal, scrambled eggs, protein smoothies, yogurt with raw veggies, whole wheat crackers with cheese, chicken quesadillas, a "snack dinner" with nuts, fruit, veggies and pretzels, or pizza.

* Learn to give yourself grace and not put so much pressure on yourself to make everything from scratch or everything a hot meal.  Again, refer to the "quick fix" meals.  

*Gives choices, when it comes to meal time, for accepting the food or not. If a child is complaining say, "Thank you, or no-thank you?" and allow them to respond. Usually, they will say, "thank you" and gratefully accept the food. Even if they like the food, but complain because they want a bigger piece, use this approach. And if the answer is no thank you, then put the food away. There is something that happens to our hearts when we verbalize "thank you."

*Assign “chores” / “responsibilities list” for each child based upon their age and abilities.  This instills a deep sense of community, or TEAMWORK, while investing in each other’s lives.  Rotate the roles as needed.  Some examples are taking out the trash, setting the table, dusting furniture, cleaning glass/mirrors, feeding pets, making beds, folding laundry, etc.

*Consider investing in a Shark Vacuum and other kid fun/ friendly tools that will spark their desire to want to contribute. Personalize their tools and hang them in places they can reach easily.

*Try assigning certain responsibilities to certain days – for example – Monday is washing and drying the laundry, Tuesday is ironing and putting it all away. And if it doesn’t all get done, give yourself a “buffer day.”

*Accept the fact and just plan get-over-it-now that there will ALWAYS be laundry to wash/fold/put away, meals to prep, dishes to clean/put away, bills to pay, things to do, places to go, people who need you, etc.  The world as you know it pre-children, has changed. This is the new normal.  Get over yourself.

* Remember that the mess of toys around is a sign of vibrant life in your house and one day you will miss the mess! Your children are a blessing from God!  

It’s a Matter of Relationship – Spouse, Friends, and Children

*Have a daily 5-minute "phone date" with your husband.  This quick vocal check-in allows you to vent if needed, to pray together, to share a silly story, or to confirm logistics for the day.  It keeps everyone on the same page and playing on the same family team.   

*Aim to schedule monthly dates with your husband.  Having uninterrupted couple time is a vital necessity to nurture your relationship.  Take turns in planning the event and arranging childcare.  Be creative and thoughtful, always remembering that quality and quantity of time with him counts tremendously. 

*Give ALL of yourself freely to your husband and hold nothing back from him.  Remember the passion you felt for him when you were dating and be playful in creative ways throughout the day.

*Take a moment for assessment – alone and with your spouse. How much do you rely on him? Are there places he can assist you or share in certain responsibilities? Are there places where he needs you to be more present? Determine if there is someone who could take the children on a play date while the two of you tackle a project together and perhaps turn it into a mini-date with lunch or dinner as your reward.

*Strike up a friendship with moms who are (or who recently came out of) a similar stage/age of your children.  You are not alone, and Satan would love to convince you of this lie!  Such relationships allow for edifying conversation, great phone chats, mommy silliness/jokes, wisdom sharing, girls’ only date nights, and spontaneous baby-sitting when you need to run quick errands, need a nap, or are desperate for some quiet time.

*It’s okay to ask for help!  Do it often and without apology.  Conquer your own perfectionism, stubbornness, pride, arrogance, or self-sufficiency.  Sometimes it simply doesn’t even cross your mind to ask.  Get into the habit of allowing other people to make the decision to help instead of assuming that they’ll say NO or that you are burdening them with your needs.  It is a blessing to introduce other people into our children’s lives!

*Realize that each age/stage draws upon various mothering skills and abilities.  For instance, some mothers may find infancy to be repetitive, exhausting, and scarce on enriching emotional feedback.  On the other hand, some mothers may find this time to be peaceful, even-paced, or possibly even energizing!  Children grow so quickly and move to a new stage in months or even weeks.  Be not too tightly attached (positively or negatively) to any one stage.  Don’t wish time away, but savor the joys and learn from the sorrows.  Instead, be flexible and ready for one of life’s constants…Change!

*Each child is truly an individual, uniquely created by God with a divine purpose and destiny.  Refuse to engage in “cookie cutter parenting”- acting as if your children are carbon copies of one another.  Be in tune to his or her specific temperament, activity level, emotional tone, cognitive strategies, strengths, hurdles, and relational styles.  Be a student of your child and ask the Lord for wisdom in how to shepherd and equip each child with grace to call forth God’s best in and through them!

*Organize a prayer team of 10-20 people who pray for you regularly and specifically.  This team can also be mobilized for time-sensitive requests.  Provide regular updates on how the Lord is moving and what He is teaching you.

*Take time as a couple to pray over your house and your children.  (Done well when they are asleep at night!)  Ask the Lord to show you the giftedness, strengths, and needs/weaknesses of each precious one. 

*Respect your children as human beings.  Children want/need to know the day's schedule, be looked in the eye and spoken to, not degraded, not bullied, but to know you understand their needs and desires.

Your Personal Perspective

*Set realistic daily goals.  Be honest with yourself when figuring out what you can/can’t or even what you should/shouldn’t attempt to start or finish in a day…or a week, or a month, or a year.

*Be graceful with yourself.  The fact is that rotten days, stinky attitudes, total inconveniences, and wretched disappointments happen for various (or not apparent, at times) reasons.  You will mess up and will need forgiveness from your children and/or your husband.  Acknowledge your sin before them and the Lord and then move on quickly!  Forgive yourself quickly and hold no account of your wrongdoings.

*Pamper and even indulge yourself regularly.  Taking the role of a servant can be extremely taxing and wearisome. Unashamedly taking some time out from the daily routine quickly quells any rumblings of martyrdom. Examples may include a walk, shopping, a long phone call or meeting with a friend, a massage or other spa treatment, a coffee drink at a book store with your favorite pen and journal scrapbooking, or whatever recharges your batteries and gives you perspective.  Be unapologetic about needing and capitalizing on this time.

*Choose to laugh instead of cry.  Choose to cry when you need to as well, no doubt!  See the lighter side of things and keep the frustrations in perspective.  Look for the humor even in the most annoying of circumstances.  Remember that this too shall pass!  Tomorrow is another day with new mercy waiting for you when your feet touch the ground.  For example, instead of being constantly annoyed that my son runs away from me and keeps me ever vigilant of his climbing capabilities, I am thankful that he has working appendages that can bolster him to and fro with minimal effort.  I pray that his physical persistence will be realized as persistence in prayer and in changing the spiritual climate of this nation and this world. 

*Don't cheat yourself on sleep!  Go to sleep when you are tired and nap when you are able.  The benefits of sleep are too numerous to count.  Be wise in giving yourself this valuable gift!  Guard it carefully in prayer for your family as well.

*Take time to read or at least peruse resources that encourage and empower. Some great examples: Loving Your Children on Purpose, Men Are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti  – it might take a while to get through a book, but you don’t always have to read them page by page. Maybe magazines or websites are just as uplifting.

*Appreciate the little moments, remembering that most positive things happen in very short, captured periods of time. For instance, when everyone is cranky including yourself, stop everything and focus on the kids - read a book, play cars, throw ball or get out musical instruments. Most often, those few minutes are enough, and then they are off playing again.

*Practice Self-Control. We can control ourselves. You can't control your child, but you can teach him/ her by example that you can control yourself.

*Establish your core values for your family. For example: Fun, Loving, and Helpful and determine if your actions and those of your family are meeting these values.

The Spiritual Connection

*Take time to listen to the Lord.  Be quick to obey and slow to speak, even when He doesn’t make sense.  Do what He has called you to do - nothing more and nothing less.  He will never lead you where His grace cannot keep you.

*Encourage daily quiet time for everyone in the family.  For the younger ones, this will most likely mean physical rest/sleep.  As the children age, allow them to read, complete an activity book, pray, meditate, or do something stationary and solitary (and relatively quiet) for 30-60 minutes.  This will give you some down time to spend with the Lord, too!  Cultivate in them an understanding of how to talk to AND listen to Jesus.  Expect them to hear the Lord clearly and ask what they are learning.  

*Remember that you (and your husband, if you’re married) set the tone or the atmosphere of your home.  If Jesus is lifted high, then Satan cannot touch you!  If Scripture is hidden in your hearts, there will be neither attraction to nor room for the world’s filth to dwell therein.

* Be intentional to pray about how you parent, and about how the kids’ hearts will be more receptive and softened to God’s truth and love.

*Strongly consider and review the media that is brought into your home.  Be aware of radio, downloaded or recorded music, books, magazines, videos, Internet content, and other sources that may not honor the Lord.  Guard the hearts and minds of your family members with zeal.

*Cultivate thankful hearts!  When we are thankful, we focus on what we have and on the Lord’s goodness.  Jealousy, comparison, a spirit of poverty, and fear flee when we cling to the One who is ever faithful to supply all of our needs.  Focus on what you can do with the resources you have and sow good seeds into the Kingdom to reap eternal rewards. 

* Remember that the Lord is waiting to answer your prayers if you will only ask. Somehow it's always easier to pray and ask for others' needs, but you have needs that He cares about and for which He will provide, even when those prayers are for people to come along and help you take care of your home and family.

* Try association prayer, something that helps you focus on others and not just on you or your immediate family. A couple of examples: when I put on mascara, I think of my friend Laura who, back in High School, said she hardly ever put that on, because her lashes were so thick and dark. While I was cleaning my kitchen, washing dishes, and scrubbing my sink, I thought of my friend Renee, who had told me some tips she’d been trying recently to at least keep her kitchen clean to feel better about her house. So I prayed for her family.

* Remember that God understands the seasons you have in your life. This is a time where those long moments alone with Him just aren’t as frequent as we were used to in college or early marriage. They will come around again, when the kids are in school, and definitely when they’ve graduated and moved out.

*Carve out at least some time for you to be alone and focusing on God. Perhaps a personal retreat once or twice a year needs to be set on the calendar. If you have access to your local church building or a friend’s house who may be away for the weekend, put the kids to bed and go sing, play an instrument, pray, read, and listen! You need time to recharge and pray more intensely.  

*Make time for worshipping with the children. Put on a CD and dance together or play an instrument and sing while they dance or read a book. Let them know the importance of mommy’s worship time and teach them to respect it even if they do not want to participate. Invite them to “take a turn” after you are done.

* Remember: It is the presence of the Lord that changes us and that changes our children. Even when you don't understand or have the answers for or about your children, you can worship. You can invite the powerful, manifest presence of the Lord to saturate your home and invade the hearts and minds of your children.  He inhabits the praises of His people. 

*Try reading the Bible aloud to your children and ask them questions along the way, so you are both having some devotional time. If you’re feeling really ambitious and creative, try acting the story out together or summing the principle up in just a few words that you will remember.  

Balancing Discipline and Play

*Allow the children to play by themselves or with siblings minus your physical presence.  Even just 15 minutes once or twice a day will give you time to check email, organize mentally, or make some phone calls.  Being a parent does not equal being a peer playmate.  (I need to remind myself of this often!)  Confining them to one room/creating boundaries for this play area will keep them safe.

*Schedule date nights with the children individually and with Mommy or Daddy monthly.  Allow them to choose the activity. Sharing special time alone with them feeds both of your souls and can lead to deep discussion and/or spiritual training or even impartation!

*Choose your battles. Too often we “jump on our kids” when it really isn't necessary. Realize that it is coming from your stress or urgency of trying to get out the door, etc.  Bite your tongue more and wait before talking.

* Try singing your requests. For example: the "Have Patience" song from Music Machine. This usually stops screaming and fussing long enough to make some headway.

*Establish a day of rest – it doesn’t have to be Sunday, especially if you are actively serving in a ministry capacity on Sunday mornings. We use Friday night to Saturday mornings as our “Sabbath,” so no major chores or errands are done. It’s just family time, or personal reading and reflection or relaxation time. 

Blanket Time

by Meagan DeLong

(After reading on Meagan's blog about this creative way of teaching her children, she agreed to write a brief article on this topic for all the Heart to Heart moms!  I know this will be very helpful to all who follow her example!  Why not give it a try in your home!)

Before our second child was born, I decided to teach Karis (18 months) how to enjoy "Blanket Time," so that she would learn to sit and play quietly while I nursed the baby.  It was a lot of work at first, but it was definitely worth it later on!  I gave Karis some toys that I knew she loved, usually sensory things like beans, linking cubes, a box of Christmas bows, etc. and instructed her to play on the blanket and not get off.  The first week my goal was ten minutes, and I planned to raise it five minutes every week until she could do thirty minutes (hopefully enough time to change and nurse the baby).

The first day I spent the whole time disciplining her for getting off the blanket, but the second day she played for fifteen minutes without even looking up at me!  I love this idea for so many reasons: it teaches her patience, obedience, and how to sit still better.  It is also really good for her to learn to play by herself and I just love hearing her talk to the toys and interact without my help.  It also makes beans and other small sensory things so much easier to clean up since they have to stay on the blanket.  With my second child, I started shortly after she turned a year old.  It is amazing how many things I can straighten or organize during that short window of time!