Practicing Gratitude

by Laura George
http://thornsandbelles.blogspot.com/
Used with permission

It was an early summer morning at the hotel where I work. Occasionally while frequenting the industrial sized coffee pots used to prepare coffee for our event guests, I pass by members of the hotel's banquet staff. One such staff member, Jenn, was there preparing glasses for an event this particular day. She greeted me with a cheerful good morning and a compliment about how much she liked the top I was wearing.

Jenn is always smiling and complimenting those she comes in contact with. In fact, just a few days prior, she said my dress was pretty and that she wished she were as tall as me to be able to pull that style off. A week or so before the dress compliment, Jenn said my hair looked good. A month or so before that, she complimented me on my purse as I was walking out for the night.

I had an extra few minutes the morning we met at the coffee pots, so I decided to give her more than the standard "thank you" I always follow her compliments with. Thanking her not only for the compliment she had just given me, but also for the fact that she always compliments me, I then told her it makes me happy to see her at work. “Jenn,” I began, “you are always so nice to me. Your kind words impact my day in a positive way, and I just wanted you to know that.”

Expecting Jenn's reaction to my words to just be, "you're welcome," I was surprised when she began to share her own story with me. While Jenn continuously poured iced tea and water into glasses for the banquet function she was working on, she came right out and said, "a few years ago I almost died. So now I try to compliment everyone I see. I hope it makes them feel good because I am so grateful to even be alive."

She went on to say that while suffering from extreme weight loss and back pain so excruciating she was confined to her couch, she became addicted to prescription pain pills. Jenn was popping so many pills the pharmacy couldn't keep up and had to turn her away. Sadly, the medicine didn't even work! Nothing did. Over time, Jenn wasted away to around eighty pounds. Near death, Jenn was on her couch one night internally battling the horror of her impending death with the peace of dying and being freed from her pain. Her body was so sick, so weak, that her mind was letting go.

Later that night, Jenn's mother found her unconscious on the couch and paramedics brought her to the hospital. Spending three weeks under the care of various doctors, Jenn's weight increased and many tests were performed. Day after day, no one could tell her what was causing the pain she was experiencing. I can't imagine the level of frustration she must have felt knowing that something inside her body was broken and the experts just couldn't figure out what or why.

A neurologist finally came in and was able to determine that her issue was nerve related. He started her on a new medication and the pain instantaneously disappeared. Jenn is still taking this non-narcotic nerve medicine, and has not taken a prescription pain pill in years.

Completing the conversation, Jenn smiled up at me with her adorable grin and the lovely sweetness she displays on her face. She said, "I know people struggle all the time, but often they don't even know they're going through a crisis situation until the situation is over with. If I can say something nice to everyone I see, then maybe it will make a difference and give them the will to keep going."

Jenn makes a point of paying everyone she sees a compliment as often as she can because she is happy to be alive. In my opinion, Jenn has mastered the art of practicing gratitude because her compliments are genuine and come from her own extremely thankful heart.

There is always something in life that can irritate us, cause us anger or angst. Often our feelings are justified because our pain, whether emotional or physical, is real. However, particularly as we approach the season of Thanksgiving, there are three basic concepts we can adopt that will help us with the art of practicing gratitude.

One, we all have something to be grateful for. Some of us, like Jenn, have gone through some very difficult things in life and come out on the other side. Do you have parents, children, a spouse, friends, or other family members that love you, or that you love? Do you have food on your table, a roof over your head, and a Lord who walks with you daily? We all have at least one blessing we can be grateful for. To routinely focus on the bad things happening is a mistake. Focus instead on the good things that have already happened!

Second, turn your own gratitude into an opportunity to help others. As you go through your day, look people in the eye, smile, greet them, notice their needs, and find something to genuinely compliment them on. It can make a big difference in how they view their day.

And third, borrow the gratitude idea my friend at dinner had. Ask others around you what they are most grateful for over the past week, month, or year. Challenge them to be creative. Many of us do that during the Thanksgiving meal, which is an excellent way to focus on gratitude. But take it a step further. Make it something you do regularly. It can turn negativity right around to the positive. As a result, God will be honored and the people around you will be happier!

"Let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service
with reverence and awe." Hebrews 12:28

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Need Washing?/God and the Spider/The Ant and the Contact Lenses/The Pickle Jar

NEED WASHING?

Author unknown - Thanks to Karen Coughlin in Florida for sending this!

 

        A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in a large department store. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the store.
        We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I get lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
        The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, "Mom let's run through the rain," she said.
        "What?" Mom asked.
        "Let's run through the rain!" She repeated.
        "No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.
        This young child waited another minute and repeated: "Mom, let's run through the rain,"
        "We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.
        "No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
        This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?
        "Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!"
        The entire crowd stopped dead silent.  I declare you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.
        Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
        "Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God lets us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.
        Then off they ran! We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.
        And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
        Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

 

GOD AND THE SPIDER
Author unknown - Thanks to Shelley Camden in Virginia for sending this story!

During World War II, a US Marine was separated from his unit on a Pacific island. The fighting had been intense, and in the smoke and the crossfire he had lost touch with his comrades.
     
Alone in the jungle, he could hear enemy soldiers coming in his direction. Scrambling for cover, he found his way up a high ridge to several small caves in the rock. Quickly he crawled inside one of the caves. Although safe for the moment, he realized that once the enemy soldiers looking for him swept up the ridge, they would quickly search all the caves and he would be killed.  As he waited, he prayed, "Lord, if it be Your will, please protect me.  Whatever Your will though, I love You and trust You. Amen."

After praying, he lay quietly listening to the enemy begin to draw close. He thought, "Well, I guess the Lord isn't going to help me out of this one."  Then he saw a spider begin to build a web over the front of his cave.
     
As he watched, listening to the enemy searching for him all the while, the spider layered strand after strand of web across the opening of the cave. "Hah, he thought, "What I need is a brick wall and what the Lord has sent me is a spider web. God does have a sense of humor."

As the enemy drew closer he watched from the darkness of his hideout and could see them searching one cave after another.  As they came to his, he got ready to make his last stand.  To his amazement, however, after glancing in the direction of his cave, they moved on.

Suddenly, he realized that with the spider web over the entrance, his cave looked as if no one had entered for quite a while. "Lord, forgive me," prayed the young man. "I had forgotten that in You a spider's web is stronger than a brick wall."
     
We all face times of great trouble. When we do, it is so easy to forget the victories that God would work in our lives, sometimes in the most surprising ways. As the great leader, Nehemiah, reminded the people of Israel when they faced the task of rebuilding Jerusalem, "In God we will have success!" [Nehemiah 2:20]
     
Remember: Whatever is happening in your life, with God, a mere spider's web can become a brick wall of protection. Believe He is with you always.  Just speak His name through Jesus, His Son, and you will see His great power and love for you.     

 

THE ANT AND THE CONTACT LENS
The original source of this story is the 1995 book Keep a Quiet Heart, by Elisabeth Elliot, where it appeared in a chapter entitled "Lost and Found." Mrs. Elliot attributes the story to a first-person account sent to her by Brenda Foltz of Princeton, Minnesota, who maintained she wrote it based upon an event that occurred during her first rock-climbing experience.

Brenda was almost halfway to the top of the tremendous granite cliff.  She was standing on a ledge where she was taking a breather during this, her first rock climb. As she rested there, the safety rope snapped against her eye and knocked out her contact lens. "Great!" she thought.
"Here I am on a rock ledge, hundreds of feet from the bottom and hundreds of feet to the top of this cliff, and now my sight is blurry." She looked and looked, hoping that somehow it had landed on the ledge. But it just wasn't there.  She felt the panic rising in her, so she began praying. She prayed for calm, and she prayed that she may find her contact lens.

When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but it was not to be found. Although she was calm now that she was at the top, she was saddened because she could not clearly see across the range of mountains. She thought of the Bible verse, "The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth."

She thought, "Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is.  Please help me."

Later, when they had hiked down the trail to the bottom of the cliff they met another party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, "Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?"

Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across a twig on the face of the rock, carrying it!

The story doesn't end there. Brenda's father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a cartoon of an ant lugging that contact lens with the caption, "Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I'll carry it for You."

I think it would do all of us some good to say, "God, I don't know why You want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy. But, if You want me to carry it, I will."

THE PICKLE JAR
Author unknown - Thanks to Dolly Buterbaugh in Virginia for sending this!

The pickle jar as far back as I can remember sat on the floor beside the dresser in my parents' bedroom. When he got ready for bed, Dad would empty his pockets and toss his coins into the jar. As a small boy I was always fascinated at the sounds the coins made as they were dropped into the jar.

They landed with a merry jingle when the jar was almost empty. Then the tones gradually muted to a dull thud as the jar was filled. I used to squat on the floor in front of the jar and admire the copper and silver circles that glinted like a pirate's treasure when the sun poured through the bedroom window. When the jar was filled, Dad would sit at the kitchen table and roll the coins before taking them to the bank.

Taking the coins to the bank was always a big production. Stacked neatly in a small cardboard box, the coins were placed between Dad and me on the seat of his old truck.

Each and every time, as we drove to the bank, Dad would look at me hopefully. "Those coins are going to keep you out of the textile mill, son. You're going to do better than me. This old mill town's not going to hold you back."

Also, each and every time, as he slid the box of rolled coins across the counter at the bank toward the cashier, he would grin proudly. "These are for my son's college fund. He'll never work at the mill all his life like me."

We would always celebrate each deposit by stopping for an ice cream cone. I always got chocolate. Dad always got vanilla. When the clerk at the ice cream parlor handed Dad his change, he would show me the few coins nestled in his palm.

"When we get home, we'll start filling the jar again." He always let me drop the first coins into the empty jar. As they rattled around with a brief, happy jingle, we grinned at each other. "You'll get to college on pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters," he said. "But you'll get there. I'll see to that."

The years passed, and I finished college and took a job in another town. Once, while visiting my parents, I used the phone in their bedroom, and noticed that the pickle jar was gone. It had served its purpose and had been removed.

A lump rose in my throat as I stared at the spot beside the dresser where the jar had always stood. My dad was a man of few words, and never lectured me on the values of determination, perseverance, and faith. The pickle jar had taught me all these virtues far more eloquently than the most flowery of words could have done. When I married, I told my wife Susan about the significant part the lowly pickle jar had played in my life as a boy. In my mind, it defined, more than anything else, how much my dad had loved me.

No matter how rough things got at home, Dad continued to doggedly drop his coins into the jar. Even the summer when Dad got laid off from the mill, and Mama had to serve dried beans several times a week, not a single dime was taken from the jar. To the contrary, as Dad looked across the table at me, pouring ketchup over my beans to make them more palatable, he became more determined than ever to make a way out for me. "When you finish college, Son," he told me, his eyes glistening, "You'll never have to eat beans again ...  unless you want to."

The first Christmas after our daughter Jessica was born, we spent the holiday with my parents. After dinner, Mom and Dad sat next to each other on the sofa, taking turns cuddling their first grandchild. Jessica began to whimper softly, and Susan took her from Dad's arms. "She probably needs to be changed," she said, carrying the baby into my parents' bedroom to diaper her. When Susan came back into the living room, there was a strange mist in her eyes.

She handed Jessica back to Dad before taking my hand and leading me into the room. "Look," she said softly, her eyes directing me to a spot on the floor beside the dresser. To my amazement, there, as if it had never been removed, stood the old pickle jar, the bottom already covered with coins. I walked over to the pickle jar, dug down into my pocket, and pulled out a fistful of coins. With a gamut of emotions choking me, I dropped the coins into the jar. I looked up and saw that Dad, carrying Jessica, had slipped quietly into the room. Our eyes locked, and I knew he was feeling the same emotions I felt. Neither one of us could speak.

Sometimes we are so busy adding up our troubles that we forget to count our blessings.

"Warshing" Clothes Recipe

Thanks to Jalisa Wenger in Pennsylvania for sending this interesting "recipe!" 

This makes me tired just thinking about doing laundry using this antiquated method!  No more grumbling for me about doing laundry! Never thought of a "washer" in this light before..what a blessing!

"Warshing Clothes Recipe" -- imagine having a recipe for this!

Years ago an Alabama grandmother gave the new bride the following recipe: this is the exact copy as written and found in an old scrapbook - with spelling errors and all.

Warshing Clothes

Build fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain water. Set tubs so smoke wont blow in eyes if wind is pert. Shave one hole cake of lie soap in boilin water.. sort things, make 3 piles, l white, 1 colored, 1 work To make starch, stir flour in cool water to smooth, then thin down with boiling water.

Take white things, rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, and boil, then rub colored don't boil just wrench and starch.

Take things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then wrench, and starch.

Hang old rags on fence.

Spread tea towels on grass.

Pore wrench water in flower bed. Scrub porch with hot soapy water.

Turn tubs upside down.

Go put on clean dress, smooth hair with hair combs.. Brew cup of tea, sit and rock a spell and count your blessings.

Paste this note over your washer and dryer.  Next time when you think things are bleak, read it again, kiss that washing machine and dryer, and give thanks.  For you non-southerners - wrench means, rinse.  ;)  And we thought we have it rough!

Parenting Tip - The Gratefulness Principle

This tip comes from the book Parenting is Heart Work by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.  You can sign up for Parenting Tips at www.biblicalparenting.org.  Used by permission.

Gratitude increases closeness in relationships. As you parent your children, look for opportunities to take advantage of gratefulness to draw closer to your kids. Give your children small gifts of love day after day. Be careful, though, that you don’t confuse the gratefulness principle with the overindulgence trap.

Some parents, wanting their children to like them, recognize giving gifts opens the heart, so they overdo it by giving them too many things. Giving to your kids must be tied into relationship, or the gifts feed selfishness instead of gratefulness.

Overindulgence is giving your children more than their character can handle. When children lack gratitude, then the more you give them, the less they appreciate. Parents must restrain themselves or they’ll exceed their children’s ability to manage the blessings.

Overindulged children rarely become grateful when you give them more things. They grow to be more demanding and selfish. Parents then feel unappreciated and become resentful. The hearts of both parents and children harden toward each other, and closeness becomes a thing of the past.

If your children become overindulged rather than grateful, then pull back on the area where you’re giving too much. Look for creative ways to give differently to your child. Teaching the heart gratefulness can be a challenge. Having a child say thank you is just behavior. Gratefulness comes from the heart.

Monitor your child’s response to gifts of love to determine if you’re growing gratitude or overindulgence. As gratefulness increases, you can slowly give blessings in a way that will produce more gratefulness. You’ll know if you’re moving too quickly by your child’s response.

The Little Things

Author unknown - Thanks to Julie Karsten in Washington who sent this!

As you might remember, the head of a company survived 9/11 because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike Because of an auto accident.

One of them missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One's car wouldn't start.One couldn't get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work, but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot.  He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.  That is why he's alive today. 

Now when I am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone... all the little things that annoy me, I think to myself, "This is exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment."  

The next time your morning seems to be going wrong - the children are slow getting dressed, you can't seem to find the car keys, you hit every traffic light, don't get mad or frustrated.  It may just be that God is watching over you.