Saturday, January 15, 2011

Notes on Grandparenting, Letting Go and Growing Old Together

by Lois Breneman, © 2004, Heart to Heart 

        While on the Outer Banks of North Carolina with our family for a week in July, it was so much fun watching our sixteen month old grandson, Justin Daniel, toddling out to the ocean with excitement!  That will be a treasured picture! He laughed and squealed with delight as the waves came and washed over him, sometimes splashing in his face.  With all the sunscreen on his slippery little body, I got a real good grip on him, hoping he wouldn't slip out of my hands!!   In this case, I'd better not "let go!"
        Justin surprised us with two new molars during vacation!  One day at the beach, after being splashed by the ocean waves, he sat right down to play in the sand at the edge of the ocean.  Soon the waves filled his diaper with grit and all of a sudden, he let out a blood curdling scream to let us know that he was in pain!  He had diaper rash, which came along with the molars as often happens, and that gritty sand didn't feel too good against diaper rash!  After a quick bath in the ocean, Desitin, and a dry diaper, he sat on a quilt with his mommy and grandma under the canopy his parents brought to shield him from the sun's rays.  He just loved playing in such a big sandbox!
        Soon he was dipping a little green sprinkling can that I brought for him into a bucket of salt water, then pouring the water into the sand.  You should have seen Justin's eyes the first time he poured water in the sand and the water instantly disappeared!  That didn't stop him though!  He was so fascinated with that procedure that he dipped and poured for over an hour, as his daddy, mommy and I kept refilling his bucket!
        Another day Justin and I walked along the beach as he picked up seashells. When he found another shell, he'd "let go" and drop the one he was already holding.  After encouraging him to give me the shells to save for him, we had his very first seashell collection for Mommy to save or add to his sandbox at home. 
        Ladies, I know many of you are "letting go" for the first time as your oldest child goes off to college.  Seeing your child go off to kindergarten can even be very difficult.  Some of you are seeing your last child leave the nest.  Don't lose heart though.  This can be a wonderful time in your life, as your children hopefully chose to live out what you have taught them.  I pray whatever transition your family finds itself in, the Lord will give you His wisdom and peace. 
        Regarding your present or future empty nest, may I suggest that you and your husband work at rekindling your marriage relationship?  Find something special to do together and work at making your marriage a growing and content relationship.  Hopefully you already have at least one common activity to do together before your children leave home, but if not, find at least one now.  A special ministry done together is a wonderful option - pray, teach or go on visitation together.  Play table games, put puzzles together, or look to gardening, remodeling, walking, hiking, exercising, tennis, sailing, golfing, painting or wood crafts.  Some couples read books together, by taking turns reading aloud and discussing the contents.  The important thing is to find time to do something together and have fun doing it.  Incorporate "dates" into your marriage.  Make a date to do some of the activities above.
        Make a list of those qualities in your husband that first attracted you to him.  If he doesn't look like he did when you first met, remember that goes both ways!   Be accepting of each other, and remember your marriage commitment and all the good family memories the two of you have built together with the Lord's help.  The marriages of far too many couples fall apart after their children leave home, sometimes because the couple doesn't spend time together, but instead they engage in their own separate activities.  Change that possibility and work at growing old together. 
     You will find helpful suggestions at these websites:

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