Tips and Humor

Make some brush piles for the birds. Instead of throwing away your yard trimmings to be buried in a landfill, you can provide shelter and cover for your fine feathered friends in a corner of your property.  Winter is when brush piles are most needed by birds.  A few branches, debris from the summer garden, and later your discarded Christmas tree will be welcome shelter for winter feeder guests. ~ Lois

I made a unique discovery.  When I desperately called a nurse because my stomach was so sour and I couldn't keep food down, she suggested lemon or vanilla flavored yogurt.  I couldn't believe it, but was desperate.  I don't even like yogurt.  With the first bite though, my stomach said it was so good, it wanted more.  My stomach then began to heal and that helped considerably.  The nurse said it coats the stomach.  So I'm passing the word around. ~ Bernie in MO

A little boy was afraid to go to Sunday School because he heard his teacher talking about putting some children in the furnace.  He told his mother, which prompted her to ask the teacher what this meant.  After thinking for a long while, the teacher realized what it was.  She had recently been discussing with her co-teacher about whether or not to drop some of the inactive children from the "register!"  ~ by Elinor VA

Here's a good laugh for all you Northerners who like to tease Southerners mercilessly: I wanted to surprise my wife with a plant from the florist. When I called in my order, I asked the florist if he had any fern plants. The very southern florist replied, "No but we have domestic ones!" -- by Chuck Rife,

proud to be from the North ~ contributed by Eileen Rife, VA 

A woman was asked by a coworker, "What is it like to be a Christian?"   The coworker replied, "It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then he cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc., and then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."  ~ sent by Shelley Camden, VA

*Not one of us can say we didn't go on a trip this year!  "Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year!"

*How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

*Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

*Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open. 

*Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.

*We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box.

*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. ~ from Barb Campbell, MS

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder.  She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop!  Acts 2:38!"  (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)   The burglar stopped in his tracks.  The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.  As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there?  All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you." "Scripture?" replied the burglar.  "She said she had an ax and two 38's!" ~ Annamarie Kresge, VA