Saturday, January 15, 2011

Logical Consequences

by Neil Anderson

Do not hold back discipline from the child. (Proverbs 23:13).

Some children are effectively disciplined when they must experience the natural consequences of their disobedience. For example, if your child fools around and misses his bus at school, you may choose to let him walk home instead of picking him up yourself. If he procrastinates on a school project you have urged him to complete, let him receive a bad grade instead of bailing him out by doing the project yourself. For many children the pain of the natural consequence is enough to prompt a change in behavior the next time. Strong-willed children may respond best to this means of discipline. They often have to learn the hard way.

Use wisdom when employing this method. Some natural consequences may be too severe when other methods of discipline could be used. For example, making a child walk home from school alone may not be advisable in dangerous neighborhoods or bad weather.

Sometimes you may want to plan a negative consequence that is logically related to your child's misbehavior. Logical consequences are effective because they teach children to be responsible. For example, if your child carelessly spills his milk, a logical consequence is for him to clean up the mess.

Logical consequences help avoid power struggles between the child and parent. They can also greatly reduce nagging, correction and spanking. When your child completes the consequence, the incident is over, and hopefully he has learned to avoid the problem in the future.

Using natural consequences for discipline may require some extra work on your part. For example, you may need to teach your child how to use a sponge mop, operate the washing machine, etc. Don't look for the easiest method of discipline; look for the best. What may be convenient may not be correct. What works best for one child may not work well for another. Logical consequences teach cause and effect and can be used as a positive reinforcer.

Heavenly Father, grant me the wisdom to discipline my children for their future good as You discipline me for my good. 
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This daily devotional is published and distributed by Crosswalk.com.  It is written by Neil Anderson at  http://link.crosswalk.com/UM/T.asp?A1.14.23568.1.91897.
 
Note from Lois: Dr. Kevin Leman has written some helpful books on common sense discipline, which are also entertaining to read.  Two of his books on this subject are Making Children Mind without Losing Yours,  as well as Bringing Up Kids without Tearing Them Down.  Another book of Dr. Leman's with an interesting concept is The Birth Order Book.  This book will help you to understand the differences in your children, as well as your siblings.  Dr. James Dobson's Dare to Discipline is also very helpful, along with others he wrote.  Both authors use the Bible as their source for the principles given. 
 
 
OUT OF THE MOUTH OF MAX
Contributed by Elinor in Virginia ~ a quote by her five year old grandson, Max, who is memorized by tools, lawn mowers, tractors, construction - anything a man might use.
 
        Dialog with Daddy following a "time out" experience for discipline.
"Hey Daddy, tell me about when you were a little boy and you were punished!"
"Well, for one thing, Meems and Pop Pop did NOT do 'time out' - they gave me a spanking!"
"Well, what did Meems and Pop Pop spank you with?"
"It was a wooden spoon."
"Was it the pwessure tweeted kind?"
        Dad cracks up!!! The family has one more story to add to our book of "Max Tales!"

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