Discipline or Distress?

(c)Copyright, 2009, Brenda Nixon - Used by Permission

Noticing more screaming, tantrums, resistance, nightmares, bedwetting, defiance, whining and cantankerousness in kids this time of year? 

When Laura was in a Christmas play and we were running out the door to practices, constantly rehearsing her lines, cramming in homework and quick meals, she finally broke down in tears. "I'm not going!" she demanded one afternoon. The hectic pace and high expectations finally wore her down. Boy, did I feel insensitive and guilty.

 

Kids are perceptive. They pick up on stress in our lives and also react to their disrupted routines. If you find your kids are acting out more - during the day and overnight - perhaps they're stressed with the expectations and busyness. Even anticipation, of Christmas Day, is a stressor!

 

If you think you're going to "lose it" at times, don't you think kids feel the same? And most kids - especially those wee ones - are helpless about their schedules since adults set the pace.

 

Rather than increasing discipline, setting more rules and limitations, or sending kids to time-out, try calming the environment. Turn down the lights, turn OFF the TV, PlayStation and other electronics. Enjoy some quiet in your home. Allow children to lie on the bed and think. Allow down time for relaxation.

 

This week, be a student of your children; watch and learn from them. If you see they're reacting to stressed and harried schedules, DeStress, slow down! You'll see an improvement in their behavior as well as yours. Nothing - not plays, family expectations, relatives, games, or church - is worth your kids' mental health and your parent/child relationship.

(c)Copyright, 2009, Brenda Nixon.  The Birth to Five Book: Confident Childrearing Right from the Start is available at bookstores and online at Amazon.  Follow my work and life in 140 characters at http://www.twitter.com/BrendaNixon.  For Brenda's Discipline Tip, each week:  subscribe@BrendaNixon.com