Children's Chores / Mean Moms

CHILDREN'S CHORES CAN BE A DELIGHT
by Malia Russell - Excerpt from the article: Delightful Delegation - Used by permission

Frequently I am asked how my children do so many chores around the house without the usual arguing and complaining seen in other children.

Part of the reason our household routines work so well, is that the older children (and mom!) do their work cheerfully. We make games and incentives out of the seemingly difficult tasks. You can see an example of this in a recent decluttering challenge we took at our house. We also have our work organized. Everyone knows which tasks are expected, depending on the day. This means I have thoughtfully considered our work for the day and have assigned portions to each child. For example, on paperwork day I examine the tasks before me and assigned some to each girl. The same is true for our errand day, kitchen day, gardening day and cleaning days.

Another thing we have done to make learning new and difficult chores a delight is to call it "Home Economics" and assigned a "teaching time" and a "final." For example, when Anne Mary was learning to use the pressure cooker at age 7, we had the first session just an observation session. The next time she was able to do parts by herself with very close supervision. The third time she did all the steps with minimal supervision. We took pictures and celebrated her passing her final. Now when I need her to prepare dinner using the pressure cooker, she will be delighted and do it with joy, with minimal supervision.

One day, I had a flashback to my childhood of the delight I found in being the Office Assistant in school. This child took the class roster to the office, used the ditto machine, and carried notes to the office. I sighed, thinking, "I need an office assistant." Then, I realized that with a little training, I could have office assistants, too. So we made a couple of new titles in our home: Office Assistant and Kitchen Manager. The Office Assistant checks the mail, answers the phone, takes messages, makes photocopies, staples, collates files, etc. The Kitchen Manager changes the numbers on the perpetual calendar, replenishes the wash clothes, sweeps after meals, and helps with dinner preparation. We mix fun jobs along with the work to make sure it is fun and rewarding. It took a little training, but very quickly they became valued and helpful assistants.

Another thing we do is use routines. Once a chore becomes a routine part of the day, it is seemingly done without effort or thought. Christina's (17) is fairly flexible. She is making her own schedule and helps when available. I have a routine that I keep to make sure I have the proper amount of time allotted for my duties. The children each have their own routines and we adjust them as needed. Because there is some redundancy in the routines, some things really only need to be done once a day, but just in case something gets missed or is rushed, it will be caught the second time around.

As a family, we have worked very hard to eliminate Chaos in its various forms: distractions, decisions, lack of delegation, determining family goals, and multiplying spiritual disciplines as I describe in my book: Chaos to Order, 25 Tools Bringing Organization to Your Home. Finally, we work very hard to apply Biblical principles throughout the day in the way we treat one another. This makes the task of delegating and sharing housework a delight, rather than a burden.

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe. Philippians 2:14-15

What things have you done as a family to make delegation a delight instead of a drag? 

Malia Russell is the blessed wife to Duncan, thankful mother to four children, ages 3-17 and an author, conference speaker and director of www.homemaking911.com. Visit her site for inspiration, encouragement and practical help in your roles as a godly wife, mother, homemaker or home educator. For more help with home management, see my book and audio CD: From Chaos to Order: Bringing Organization to Your Home.

MEAN MOMSAuthor unknown - Thanks to Rosanne Ayers in Virginia for sending this.

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my "Mean Mom" told me:

I loved you enough . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.  Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end, you won too.  And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean?  I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison.

She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.  By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us has ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime.  It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.  I think that is what's wrong with the world today.  It just doesn't have enough "Mean Moms!"