7 Special Squabble Stopping Steps

by Mrs. Lorrie Flem - www.TEACHmagazine.com - Used by permission

What's worse than fingernails scratching a blackboard? Bickering! It wears us out, wears us down, and wears our nerves ragged.

Have you tried being patient? Rational? A good listener? I know, you've been there done that!

Tell them that bickering children are special and they require special treats … otherwise known as treatment. Here are 7 Special Squabble Stopping Steps.

1.       Special Talk. Talk (don't yell, they won't hear you better) to them about the cost of bickering. It is pure stress for mom and dad, it doesn't do anything but hurt their relationship with their sibling, it is contagious for the other siblings, and it isn't fun for anyone, even the ones who are doing the bickering. Finally, remind them that God hand-picked their brothers and sisters for them because He loves them.

2.       Special Prayer. Start it off with prayer. Ask the Lord to bless this time and use it to help them remember well that bickering comes with a price tag.

3.       Special Delivery. Tie them together. Yes, I'm serious. This is a common event in our home. Fuss too much and get tied together. I tell them they can untie themselves anytime they want. All they have to do is wait until I hear genuine laughter, see sparkles in their eyes, and love and forgiveness controlling their actions.

4.       Special Jobs. When I hear bickering I usually say something like, "Wonderful! I needed to have the floor behind the toilets scrubbed so clean you would use your toothbrushes if you dropped it back there." Don't tie them together and let them go. Multi-task and give them big housecleaning jobs so they can work on the house while they work on their attitudes.

5.       Special One. If it is a case of children bickering over one thing I take that and say, "Thank you. I haven't had my own ___ for a long time." The desired item becomes mine and I make sure they see me playing with or enjoying it while they are tied together cleaning house.

6.       Special Sleep.  Peek in their eyes and look for signs of needing sleep. If they look red or watery, or have dark circles or rub them a lot, they might just need some sleep. So tie them up and lay them down and tell them you have a special job for them when they wake up to help them remember not to bicker.

7.       Special Rewards. Don't forget, sometimes bickering is a plea for "Mommy Time." After they have cut the cord that tied them together while they worked as a team I might say that we need some "Mommy Time." Now this is never going to work if you use #7 instead of but if you use it afterwards it can be very healing. Spend 15 minutes gathering the younger child close and doing something special with them. Then send them off so you can do the same with the older child.