by Rosanne Parker - Used by permission
In my youth no one would have
tagged me as anything but an extrovert. My sister in love described me
as a white tornado when I'd arrive for a visit....I loved life and enjoyed people. In particular, I loved my Campus Life community of friends.
Life has a way of affecting change. The joys and sorrows conform us and
teach us some BIG lessons. In my twenties I seemed to have lots of easy
answers. My thirties were a blur with kids, a home and amazing
relationships. The answers were less than easy but I was growing in
grace and compassion. My temper was easily ignited to my shame. Hurt and
what I now understand as trauma became an unwelcomed house guest and
left messes that stained our lives. Those stains are being used to form
an amazing piece of art, our life, to reflect resilience and grace from
God alone.
The anger was often a reaction to fear. Fear is
debilitating. As a teen I watched my beloved mom struggle through the
change of life. For her, crowds and florescent lighting often triggered
panic. Dear mom would get red faced on one side and go pale as Casper on
the opposite side. People would offer help but that only served to make
it harder for her. I recall being in a huge bus terminal in Canada when
it once happened. Poor mom. I learned a little about assisting
panicked people quietly during those days.
Here I am now, looking in
to groups of people with a different lens than when I was in high school or
college. Those waves of panic well up sometimes and I just need to pause
and get acclimated like you do when you come inside from the sun into a
dim room. It takes a few moments to adjust.
Please friends, be
patient with those who don't jump into the party with gusto. Please
remember, you do not know the history nor the current circumstance.
Panic is a hard enemy and while it can mask as anger or unfriendliness,
it is neither. It just needs a safe place to fall and gentle tenderness
to get acclimated.
How can you be a safe place for someone today?
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