This idea was taken from the book Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN BSN.
Used by permission
A busy father comes home from work
hoping to relax with his wife and enjoy his children. Instead, he walks
into a land mine of relational issues. Children are bickering and Mom is
frazzled. Even the dog has retreated to a quieter room in the house. A
mom comes home from work wanting to share a couple of interesting
stories with her family only to find that, instead, everyone wants a
piece of her.
When you hit those challenging moments in family
life, how do you respond? You probably have certain routines you use in
conflict situations or when you're stressed or upset. One mom tells us,
"I call it my 'take charge mode.' I just start taking control of
everything, giving orders, solving problems, and managing people.
Unfortunately, I don't always do it in a gracious way. I become more
interested in reestablishing my authority than in building
relationships." A dad admitted, "When things get tense in my home, I
retreat. I know that's not the best but it's the way I've always
responded to conflict."
When things get tense in your home, step
back for a moment and evaluate the patterns that have developed. One of
the ways to change those patterns is to see the routines that you use
when you’re under pressure. It's amazing what happens when just one
person begins to change. A whole family can change a pattern, but it all
starts when someone decides to relate a little differently.
We
all know that children function best with routines in their schedule.
They also benefit from learning good relational routines. If you will
take the time to teach children how to respond well to instruction or
correction and then practice those healthy routines, you will not only
make family life easier but you will teach your children something they
will use in relationships for the rest of their lives.
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